


Think of the Trees

by grapelady



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Drug Use, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 15:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 46,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapelady/pseuds/grapelady
Summary: Jungeun and Jiwoo navigate their feelings for each other as longtime friends and roommates in the same college dorm room.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok I’ve never written a fic before and this got really looooonnnggg so sorry & hope it’s not that bad. I split it into two parts so it’s easier to read.  
> Also I realized like halfway through writing this that Chuu is lowkey taller than Kim Lip but whatever just pretend it’s the other way around!  
> Oh yeah and TW drugs/alcohol  
> Anywayyyy let’s get this bread chuulip (and yvesoul sorta) nation :)

Jungeun is hunched over in bed, notebook on her lap, scraping her last couple of brain cells together to write an essay for her Sociology class. No matter how hard she tried, it wasn’t working out. She flips through her textbook, eyes skirting over the pages, hoping it will invoke some inspiration. She lets out a sigh and snaps it closed, wishing she could just skip this whole college thing.

It’s her second year of being away from home to further her education. There are some aspects of college life the girl likes—for instance, the whole doing whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Her parents, while somewhat supportive and encouraging, could also be strict and passive-aggressive. And Jungeun _really_ doesn’t miss the constant judgment. Growing up, she was a star student. But that still didn’t make her parents go any easier on her. Many nights in high school Jungeun tried to escape from it all, calling up her best friend, Jiwoo. The girl could lift her spirits without even trying.

Jungeun sighs and closes her eyes in reflection. It had been almost seven years since she and the redhead had become friends.

It all started when Jungeun was at swim practice. The pool her team practiced at was also open to the public. While they would practice on one half of the pool, rambunctious children and flabby old geriatrics would clown around on the other side. And amidst a particularly demanding practice one day, Jungeun heard a loud yelp come from the public side of the pool. And there the formerly-brunette girl was. She was seemingly stuck in a pool floaty meant for toddlers and was panicking in such a theatrical manner that Jungeun was enthralled. It was kind of the cutest thing she had ever seen, but thirteen-year-old Jungeun would never admit that. After wondering why nobody was helping the poor girl, she took it upon herself and swam under the pool dividers over to her.

Jungeun remembers her ears being pierced by the girl’s shrill voice—the first of countless times that would happen. And after she frantically pulled the floaty up and off the girl’s bobbing head, she got an eyeful of what she would, for the rest of her life she guessed, consider to be the prettiest face she had ever laid eyes on. The way the girl went from sobbing to flashing the brightest, most inoffensive smile made Jungeun’s heart flutter—also the first of countless times that would happen. After the traumatic event, the two exchanged numbers. They later found out they would be attending high school together and not too long after that they were inseparable.

So inseparable in fact, when they were graduating high school, they decided to attend the same college. Jiwoo claimed it was because the school’s photography program was one of the best in the country. But the weird part was that Jungeun knew it really wasn’t ranked that high. She didn’t care either way. Her best friend in the world was with her and it made college a whole hell of a lot easier.

The first year they decided, well Jiwoo decided, that they should live in separate dorms. After all, college was about meeting people! Jungeun whined about it for a few weeks since the now-redhead girl was way better at that than she was. Deep down, she knew she was also just upset at the idea her best friend didn’t want to live with her.

Her first year was okay, Jungeun thinks. Her roommate was _alright_ , she made dean’s list, and she got some much-needed life experience when she had her first serious relationship. They broke up almost a year ago but it wasn’t messy or anything. In fact, she and her ex-girlfriend are the closest of friends still—well, not as close as she and Jiwoo. Nobody would ever be closer to her than Jiwoo.

 _Speak of the devil_ , the brunette thinks, watching the bouncy girl burst into the room, their room, and plop down on the floor.

Over the summer, Jiwoo admitted to Jungeun she wanted to share a dorm room as they entered their second year. She didn’t really explain _why_ , but the brunette guessed it had something to do with the girl suffering through a year of torture with her roommate from hell.

It was undeniably hard to get on the redhead’s bad side. Jiwoo pretty much loved everyone. But Jungeun remembers the daily ranting sessions she fell prey to about how shitty the poor girl’s living situation was. It was through those sessions she realized the girl really didn’t handle her emotions well. Many times, Jungeun had to talk the girl down and convince her not to do petty shit that might get her killed.

Regardless, that was the past and this is the present and Jungeun’s never been so glad. Having her best friend always with her was pretty much the dream. They laughed and played and studied together and went shopping and built forts and were glued together even more than ever before. Plus, it was moments like this, where Jungeun was stuck on her stupid essay, that the girl’s calming presence was really felt.

“Jungeunnie, I’m so freaking tired!” Jiwoo bellows out from the floor, pulling down on her cheeks and making herself look like an alien.

“I thought you liked working at the pet store?”

“I do it’s just...ugh! Why can’t I work just with animals and not humans?!”

“Ah, but humans are the biggest animals of all, Jiwooming.”

Jiwoo looks up at her then with a pout.

 _Fuck, that’ll never stop being cute, will it?_   Jungeun wonders to herself.

“A guy told me I need to put ‘more bass’ in my voice,” the girl says glumly, “apparently my voice is irritating people now, Jungeun.”

“It’s always irritated people, Jiwoo,” she replies with a grin, “but, no, seriously fuck that guy. You may have caused permanent eardrum damage to me and probably several others, but your voice is honestly, like...cute.”

“No,” Jiwoo sighs deeply, “I think he’s right. I wish it was more like yours, all deep and sultry.”

And there goes Jungeun’s heart fluttering again. Her cheeks also begin to flush and she’s glad the girl had gone back to staring at the ceiling because she can’t really explain why her body is reacting this way.

“What? My voice isn’t…it’s not…huh?” She’s giggling nervously now, but Jiwoo doesn’t notice. Or at least, if she does, she doesn’t show it.

The redhead finally gets up and takes off her jacket, placing it on the coat rack. She drags herself over to her side of the room, which is considerably messier, and sits on her bed. Jungeun quickly realized when they first began to share a room that the girl was terribly messy and disorganized. It fit her, though. It reflected how the girl’s brain probably looked.

Jungeun didn’t argue with her about it, she just found little ways to regulate the girl’s messiness. One of those ways was post-it notes. Just like the one the redhead was currently holding.

“Ha! I give this one a D-minus, Jungie. I swear you’ve left one on my pillow before…”

It had become a cute little thing they did—leave post-it notes for each other in funny spots for the other girl to find. The amusing part is it started just as reminders to Jiwoo to do basic adult things like laundry and throwing away food _after_ consuming it. But then the girl began leaving snarky post-it note messages back.

“Okay, maybe I have but why are you ignoring the beautiful message I left?”

Jiwoo snorts, “Drawing an extremely… _crude_ picture of me drooling on my pillow isn’t beautiful.”

“You know you can just say it’s bad. Besides, it doesn’t matter. It was supposed to be a reminder to wash your pillowcase that you soil nightly like it’s your life’s mission.”

“Whatever, I only drool cuz I’m so exhausted. You would do it too if you had a job like me!”

“Hey, I’m exhausted, too. Look at this,” Jungeun grabs her textbook and notebook and flashes them around to show the girl.

“Jungeun, there’s nothing written on that paper.”

The brunette just rolls her eyes and pretends to scribble something down.

She catches Jiwoo out of the corner of her eye taking her earrings out and putting her hair up in a loose ponytail. Her heart starts to speed up when she thinks about how she’ll get to witness casual Jiwoo yet again. Her favorite Jiwoo, she muses.

“My coworker mentioned something today that’s kind of sad,” Jiwoo suddenly states, catching Jungeun off guard. “She told me about her cousin who was dating this girl for like five years. They were friends all throughout childhood and then got together at the end of high school.”

Jungeun wonders why Jiwoo’s telling her this. The girl doesn’t typically enjoy sad things.

“Anyway, they broke up a few months ago and haven’t spoken since. They even blocked each other’s numbers and everything. I mean, that’s so sad, isn’t it? Going from being best friends to nothing like that…”

Jiwoo’s looking down deep in thought. Jungeun thinks it’s unnerving seeing the girl look so sad. It wasn’t like her to express those kinds of emotions, like, ever. So, the brunette is unintentionally quiet for a beat just staring at her before realizing she should probably speak.

“Oh…yeah that’s sad.”

“Yeah…I guess that happens sometimes, though.”

It’s quiet again, neither girl knowing what to say.

“Although…” Jiwoo says, “you and Jinsoul are still friends.”

“That’s different though, Jiwooming. It’s not like Jinsoul and I grew up together or anything.”

“I guess you’re right. It just makes you think, doesn’t it?”

Jiwoo looks at her then, or rather _into_ her. Her gaze is that piercing. Jungeun can’t begin to know what it means, and she doesn’t know why it suddenly feels tense in the room. There’s no time to process it before the girl bounces back up and announces heartily that she’s going to go shower.

Jungeun just stares at her while she leaves, catching her eyes lingering on the girl’s butt for a little longer than what’s considered platonic. That tended to happen a lot.

_That was so weird._

The brunette feels stuck for a couple of minutes and doesn’t know why she keeps replaying what her best friend said. It doesn’t even mean anything, she knows. But sometimes Jiwoo was really confusing. Or maybe it was just her feelings for Jiwoo that were confusing.

After all, she doesn’t recall finding your best friend the cutest and most beautiful girl in the world as being normal. But neither is checking your best friend out, or feeling your heart beat faster at the way she looks or even just _speaks_ to you. And she’s sure that normal isn’t accidentally having embarrassingly naughty dreams about your best friend who’s sleeping six feet from you.

None of that stuff is normal best friend behavior. And neither is falling in _love_ with your best friend. But that doesn't even matter because Jungeun isn’t in love with Jiwoo…at least not openly. Deep down, she knew it. She had known it for a long time, actually.

But she’s sure Jiwoo doesn’t know. The girl is oblivious.

And being the chicken she always has been, it’s not in Jungeun’s plans to ever do anything about her hidden feelings. The way they are now, best friends and roommates who spend nearly all their waking hours together, she loves that.

And she _isn’t_ going to do anything to screw that up.

* * *

 

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Jungeun asks, staring intently at the blank paper laid before her that should, at this point, be filled with 4000 words. Her essay was due tomorrow and she usually would have been done ages ago, but lately, her focus had been drawn elsewhere. Surely that didn’t have anything to do with the fact that for the past few weeks, her attention was caught up in her unfairly-adorable best friend, though.

“What’s weird?” Jinsoul asks, still scrolling through Instagram. She’d been lowkey obsessed with a girl in her history class and was now 42 weeks deep in her feed. Her tongue was stuck out of her mouth in concentration—there was no way in hell she would accidentally like one of the pictures and be caught lurking.

“Us,” Jungeun replies, turning around in the desk chair towards the distracted blonde.

Jinsoul’s thumb pauses its scrolling session and she looks up with a slightly curious expression at the younger girl.

“Are we weird? Duh, we’re weird. You more than I, of course. To be honest, I’ve always sort of thought that. I mean you pour milk in your bowl _before_ cereal and that’s weird as shit.”

Jungeun drops her pencil and huffs in frustration, “No, that’s not what I mean you ninny. But thanks for never letting that go.”

“I’m just saying,” Jinsoul quips, resorting back to her stealth stalking session.

“I just mean…don’t you think it’s weird how we’re friends? Like, I don’t know anyone who’s as close with their ex’s as we are,” Jungeun says, still facing the blonde but now staring at the floor seemingly deep in thought.

That catches Jinsoul’s attention though. She lets her phone fall to her lap and scoffs at the younger girl, unsure of what even prompted her friend’s current line of thought.

“You don’t wanna be friends with me anymore? You know, you could have told me that _before_ I spent an assload of my grandma’s money on your incredibly amazing and thoughtful birthday present, which I’m not starting to regret, I promise.”

Jungeun snorts at that, “No, Jinsoul, I obviously still wanna be friends with you. And like I said before, we’re not dating anymore so you don’t need to make such grand gestures. I guess I’m just wondering if it’s weird that we’re so close. Like, we dated for almost a year and now you’re my best friend. Well, _second_ -best friend…”

Jinsoul doesn’t understand what Jungeun’s on about, but she suspects it has to do with a red-haired, frustratingly cute bobblehead named Kim Jiwoo.

“This whole thing doesn’t have anything to do with your number-one best friend, does it?”

Jungeun’s still staring at the floor but jerks her head up at being caught.

Jinsoul’s eyes narrow and a sly smirk appears on her face. Jungeun looks like a deer in headlights though, so Jinsoul decides to skip the roasting that she felt was honestly inevitable and just sighs before she begins her pep-talk.

“Look, Jungeun. I know this isn’t about me. The reason I invited you over here today is cuz I thought it would help you getting out of your room that you share with ol’ whatsherface so you could finally get some work done. I mean I’m sure all you’ve been doing over there is just staring at the back of her head, pining over her instead of actually—”

“I do not stare at the back of her head, Jinsoul, oh my god.”

“But you _are_ pining?”

“Jinsoul, stop.” Jungeun gets up out of the desk chair and frantically walks over to the window. She turns her attention to the grassy area below, her back turned to her second-best friend.

“Jungeun, let’s be honest, the whole time we were dating you were pining over Jiwoo. And that’s okay, cuz as soon as I realized that, I realized that we were better as bro’s, anyway,” Jinsoul begins, rolling her eyes at Jungeun who refuses to turn around, “but if you’re worried that us being friends is weird just because we used to date then I guess you’re not as smart as I thought you were.”

“I’m not worried, it’s just…” Jungeun is still staring at down below—students bustling here and there, some couples holding hands. She’s thinking of what she wants to say, what she’s been trying to get at, but she’s not sure.

It’s something she’s gone over in her head a lot recently. Whether or not she and Jiwoo, god forbid they ever get together, would be able to withstand a breakup like she and Jinsoul did and stay friends. She knows she shouldn’t even be thinking like that, it’s not like she and Jiwoo ever _would_ get together. But Jungeun also knows that her feelings for her best friend aren’t going away anytime soon and the day that she finally explodes feels closer and closer. Winter is coming, or whatever. _But maybe it could be summer,_ Jungeun surmises. Maybe Jiwoo would, in fact, reciprocate her feelings and things would be lovely and sunny and bright, just like the girl herself.

_Yeah, right._

“It’s just…” Jinsoul prompts her along, not as amused anymore by Jungeun’s inner turmoil and mostly just slightly concerned.

“I don’t even know what I’m talking about, Jinsoul. I was just thinking how maybe it’s weird that we’re such close friends after being _more_ than friends. I mean, not every relationship could handle that sort of change…”

“So, if I’m decoding Kim Jungeun’s thought process right, and honestly bear with me because while you’re the most transparent person I know, you can also be really confusing,” Jinsoul begins, “you’re worried that if you and Jiwoo _inevitably_ seal the deal, your friendship would never recover if something went wrong?”

Jungeun turns around now, staring right at Jinsoul, panic spreading on her face but fading almost as soon as it appeared.

“Dude, that wouldn’t happen,” Jinsoul states strongly, “It’s different than most friendships—”

“How do you know?”

“Because you guys have been glued to the hip since you were thirteen! Seriously, Jungeun you guys are like soulmates or something. That girl would die for you and I know you’d do the same. A big reason you and I never worked is because I knew I would always come second to her.”

“Jinsoul…”

“No—let me finish,” Jinsoul assertively says, more serious than Jungeun’s used to seeing her, more serious than Jinsoul was even when they broke up, “I’m really not upset by the whole thing, I want you to know that. Even though I’m your second-best friend, you’re my number one: Kim Jungeun, the girl who can tolerate me better than anyone else. You know it’s true.”

Jungeun smiles slightly at that, but she still feels a little bad. She knows she didn’t give Jinsoul everything the girl deserved when they were together, but it was a little hard to when her attention was always being pulled in the other direction by Jiwoo. The night they broke up, Jinsoul told Jungeun that she couldn’t be with someone who would make heart eyes towards their best friend right in front of her anymore. Jungeun, of course, denied ever doing such a thing at the time, but deep down she knew she was guilty. But of course, Jinsoul also claimed that kissing her had started to feel like kissing her sister, so Jungeun doesn’t know how bad she should really feel.

“Anyway, don’t think just cuz we used to bang that we can’t be platonic buds who care about each other,” Jinsoul says, weakly smiling at Jungeun.

“No, Jinsoul, I never thought that I guess my words were just coming out wrong.”

“They usually do.”

All this perplexing talk stirred something up in Jinsoul that she didn’t really like to think about. She always wondered if there would be a day that _she_ could be someone’s number one—probably not though. Her luck with girls was admittedly not the best. Sometimes she was so wishy-washy that girls would lose interest. But most of the time, Jinsoul was super clingy quick into the relationship, scaring girls off. Jungeun was Jinsoul’s longest relationship, and while she didn’t have those kinds of feelings for the younger girl anymore, a part of her was still salty that she couldn’t make it work.

“By the way, what have you even been doing the whole time on your phone?” Jungeun asks, voice laced with curiosity.

“Just stalking a hot girl,” Jinsoul shrugs.

“Sooyoung?”

“How do you know her name, what the fuck?”

“Jinsoul, you’ve mentioned her like 50 times in the past two weeks.”

“Oh…well yes, okay, that is the girl in question, yes. But if you saw her then you would understand, too.”

“Well then let me see,” Jungeun says interestedly.

Jinsoul lifts the phone that she forgot to turn off, but instead of it showing Sooyoung’s Instagram feed, her phone is showing a picture from 46 weeks ago. It’s a cute picture of the girl at what looks like her birthday party—her cheeks are full, and she’s got her head extended forward, ready to blow out the twenty-one candles before her. Jinsoul admires the picture for a second or two as Jungeun begins to creep over until she notices something and shrieks in horror.

“FUCK!” She exclaims, much to the confusion of the younger girl.

“What?!”

“Oh my god, I accidentally liked one of her pictures from 46 weeks ago, Jungeun this is so fucking embarrassing, please kill me, I’m begging you!”

Jungeun slinks over her shoulder with her hands rested on the bed, gazing down at the picture and ignoring the blonde’s growing panic.

“Hmm, you’re a moron. She looks cute, though.”

Jinsoul stops her panicking and looks up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the younger girl. “She DOES, doesn’t she? She’s also ruining my history grade, but it’s okay because she’s more fun to stare at, anyway!”

“Dumbass, you’re really gonna fail out because of a cute girl?”

Jungeun clearly doesn’t realize the irony in her words, but Jinsoul does. Oh boy, does she ever.

Jinsoul finally closes out of Instagram and drops her phone on the bed, walking over to her desk. She quickly grabs the piece of paper the younger girl was agonizing over earlier and laughs hysterically when she notices that the only thing written is Jungeun’s name and “rough draft” at the top.

“It looks like I’m not the only one,” she says, waving the paper around, laughing all the while.

Jungeun races over to the unfortunately much taller girl and tries to grab the paper out of her hands to no avail.

Later that night, Jungeun emails her professor, begging for an extension on her paper.

* * *

 

“Do you like these? Ooh! Or maybe these, I feel like I look _really_ smart in these,” Jiwoo exclaims, sizing herself up in the mirror, eyebrows scrunched, as she tries on her 10th pair of glasses.

They’re in the mall, and Jungeun can’t figure out why Jiwoo dragged her over to the glasses store considering the latter girl has perfect eyesight, but she plays along.

“Hmm, well I definitely feel like you look a solid 3 percent smarter in those, so in my professional opinion, those are the ones for you, Miss. Kim.”

Jungeun knows Jiwoo has a habit of spending money on things she doesn’t need, but she knows even she will be appalled as soon as she looks at the price tag.

“Really, now? Well, I guess I have to get them, huh?” Jiwoo states decisively, taking the glasses off and playfully twirling them around. “Excuse me, sir!” she shouts in her best country accent, which makes Jungeun cringe because it’s terrible at best.

The store clerk walks over, feigning enthusiasm. “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

Jiwoo shoves the glasses a little too closely in the man’s face much to his discomfort, and with a smile that Jungeun thinks is so big that it shouldn’t be humanly possible, asks, still in character, how much the glasses cost.

“Uh, well _those,_ ” he begins, pointing directly at the price tag that was still attached to the glasses, “appear to be one hundred twenty-five dollars.”

Jiwoo’s face drops and Jungeun watches in amazement as the girl revs up her acting skills.

 _Here we go,_ she thinks.

“One hundred twenty-five dollars? Sir, my father is actually a very important man around these parts, and I don’t think he’d appreciate you trying to stiff me very much,” Jiwoo proclaims, sticking her head up proudly.

The store clerk doesn’t look amused, “Ma’am, that’s just the price, I don’t know what your ‘father’ has to do with it.”

“He actually has everything to do with it sir, he’s the president of Warby Parker…and… actually, he’s a Warby. My family is the Warby family.”

“Right, well Ms. Warby, you can either pay that price if you’re interested or I can call security and they can escort you out of the store. How does that sound?”

“Oh, no, no need for that, that’s okay, we’re leaving,” Jiwoo laughs nervously, gripping onto Jungeun’s arm and swiftly pulling her out of the store.

Jungeun looks at the girl clinging to her side laughing and bouncing around as they walk. She and Jiwoo would always come to the mall in high school, and scenes like the one they just experienced were commonplace. Jiwoo, who enjoyed her fair share of attention and figured method acting was the best way to acquire this, would put on performances in the stores they visited, usually ending up in them getting kicked out with tears of laughter running down their faces. It was always in good fun and no one ever really got offended, but Jungeun seriously wondered how the girl didn’t feel even a little bit guilty since she has now experienced life in retail since working at the pet store. Regardless, Jungeun feels nostalgic and happy at how nothing has really changed. Jiwoo is still the same girl she’s always been friends with, and now that they were adults, that thought is really comforting.

They make their way into a clothing store that looks right up Jungeun’s alley. Being the fashionista between the two, she usually had the say over which stores they visited. Jiwoo looks around wide-eyed at the clothes which looked too flashy and stylish for her tastes. She didn’t mind going to stores like this because she loved seeing the look on Jungeun’s face as she tried on all the different outfits.

“You’re really cute when you do that,” Jiwoo says smiling up at the girl posing and examining her body from head to toe.

Jungeun pauses and looks over at the girl sitting down watching her.

“When I do what?” she asks.

“When you try on clothes you get this really serious look on your face,” Jiwoo laughs, “It’s just really cute,” she says again simply.

It’s quiet and Jungeun tries to think of what to say but she runs empty. Jiwoo seems unfazed though and gets up to stand behind Jungeun in the mirror.

“For the record, I think this outfit is great, and I also think the twenty before that were great, but don’t you think our closet is a little small for all these clothes you keep buying?” Jiwoo softens her words by wrapping her arms around Jungeun’s waist, resting her head on the girl’s shoulder.

Jungeun is used to Jiwoo being touchy-feely after all the girl was the queen of showing affection to the people she cared about. It never used to affect Jungeun that much even though her feelings for the girl were always there. Lately though, with her feelings seeming like a ticking time bomb, Jungeun feels anxious and it takes all the strength in her body to will away the creeping blush on her cheeks. It doesn’t really work though when she looks at the two of them in the mirror, Jiwoo’s head on her shoulder, smiling softly as their eyes meet.

“I…I guess you’re right, we can go.” Jungeun scrambles out of the contact, rushing back in the changing room to get back into her own clothes.

She hears Jiwoo protest outside the curtain, “Jungeun, I didn’t mean we had to go! I was just teasing! I mean I like seeing all the different clothes you buy. You’ve always been really good about those things, not like me.”

Jungeun doesn’t say anything as she pulls her jeans back over her legs and stands idly in front of the curtain, gathering her breath.

_Seriously, this is not the time to act weird._

“Jungeun?” Jiwoo asks, wondering why the girl has gone quiet.

“Yeah, yeah I’m coming, hold on,” Jungeun replies, smoothing her hair down and taking a deep breath before walking back out and reaching for the redhead’s hand.

“Let’s go home, you’re right. I should really be saving my money, anyway.”

Jiwoo frowns and just grips harder onto the girl’s hand as they walk out of the store.

“By the way, you’re totally wrong,” Jungeun says.

“About what?”

“You do have a good eye for fashion. I mean those crocs you always wear? Really sexy,” Jungeun teases, turning her head and winking at the girl next to her.

Jiwoo feigns offense and rips her hand from Jungeun’s, giving her a weak slap to the arm.

“Crocs are really comfortable, okay!” The bubbly girl exclaims.

Jungeun just laughs and reaches for her hand again which Jiwoo gladly takes. Except for this time, the smaller girl interlocks their fingers and swings their hands.

“Jinsoul complimented my crocs before, you know,” she says proudly.

“Yeah, because Jinsoul was jealous of you and took it out by slyly making fun of you.” Jungeun glances down to their hands.

“I still don’t get that.”

“What?”

“Why she was so jealous of me…”

Jungeun looks away then, unsure of how to respond.

“Because…because, Jiwoo you’re like my favorite person in the world and you know me better than anyone,” she pauses, “It’s pretty hard to compete with that.”

Jiwoo looks at her then, and the long staring and fond smile the redhead is giving her makes Jungeun feel too many things at once, so she just clears her throat and continues walking them to the exit.

Jungeun has a habit of just saying things and being unable to fully justify them and explain herself when put on the spot. She hopes she won’t have to this time. Luckily, Jiwoo doesn’t say anything and they make their way outside and head towards the bus stop.

Once they’re seated on the bus and heading back to campus, Jiwoo turns to look at Jungeun. The girl is staring down at her phone, scrolling through selfies of the two of them they took on their empty shopping excursion. Neither of them bought anything but that was okay because they were broke college students and they truthfully just went to enjoy each other’s company.

She watches the brunette pause her scrolling at one picture. In it, Jiwoo is blowing a kiss to an unaware Jungeun who is goofily holding up a greasy, salt-soaked pretzel that they bought in the food court. It’s a painfully cute picture of the two of them and it makes the two girls smile.

“You should post that one,” she says.

Jungeun nods, switching her apps over to Instagram and posting the picture.

_Hung out with this dork all day, thanks for keeping me company, Ms. Warby :P_

Jungeun proudly shows it to Jiwoo. She giggles and nestles into Jungeun’s side.

“Jungeun?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re…” Jiwoo pauses and looks deep in thought but a small smile still rests on her face.

“I’m?”

  
…

  
“Ah, I don’t remember what I was gonna say, whoops,” the smaller girl giggles nervously and just focuses on picking at her nails.

Jungeun looks at her for a while and thinks she’s imagining the way the girl avoids meeting her eyes. She also thinks she’s imagining the blush that’s lingering on the girl’s cheeks, but no it’s there, alright. And Jungeun can’t help but think how pretty she looks, cheeks all rosy. Her heart is doing flips and she’s glad they aren’t holding hands anymore because Jiwoo would feel how sweaty hers are.

When they get back to the dorm, Jiwoo is back to her normal self, playing Animal Crossing on her side of the room. The redhead insists that she’ll study when she’s done completing her daily routine. Jungeun just lays on her bed and puts in her earphones, trying to focus on reading her textbook. She doesn’t even realize how caught up she is in thoughts of the girl six feet from her until she gets a text.

_Wow, have I really been reading the same two paragraphs for like fifteen minutes?_

 

 **_[Jingolas] ayy girl guess WHAT_ **  
**_[Jungeun] ….what?_ **  
**_[Jingolas] Sooyoung invited me to this party she & her friends r having tmrw…u down?_ **

 

Jungeun glances up at the smaller girl lying on her stomach on her respective bed, her legs swinging wildly back and forth, and her hair now pulled up in the most adorably-messy ponytail Jungeun’s ever seen.

 _I’m truly pathetic_ , she thinks.

 

 **_[Jungeun] Sigh_ **  
**_[Jungeun] Sure, send me the details and I’ll be there._ **  
**_[Jingolas] w00t!!11 we’re gonna get soooo fucked up u just wait..._ **  
**_[Jungeun] I only agreed because I want to meet your femme fatale just so you know._ **  
**_[Jingolas] fair enough, im just glad im finally able to get u out!_ **

 

The longer Jungeun ‘studies’ that evening the more she feels like she should tell Jiwoo about the party. She knows that Jinsoul probably had some crazy plan to get her laid but Jungeun reckons both she _and_ Jiwoo deserve to get out and have some greedy college-kid fun. Besides, Jungeun knows that if Jiwoo tags along there’s no way Jinsoul would be able to hook her up with some other girl. When the two of them were together at a social function, they rarely separated. Mostly because they relied on each other for comfort, but also because they just had so much fun with each other.

“Jiwooming, wanna go to this party Jinsoul’s newest seductress is throwing?”

“When is it?” Jiwoo asks, not looking up from her game that she swore she’d be done with by now.

“Tomorrow night.”

“Hmm I have to stay late and work on my photo project, but I guess as soon as I’m done, I can swing by!”

“Cool,” Jungeun smiles.

That night, as Jiwoo slept soundly, Jungeun struggled to sleep, her mind running through dozens of fantasies about the party… _and_ the smaller girl across the room.

Jungeun huffed and turned over in her bed, facing the sleeping girl’s back. Jungeun noticed it was half-bare as Jiwoo often slept in a cami and she caught herself staring for way longer than she should. She couldn’t help it really. The girl was illuminated by the little bit of light that was poking through the window. Almost every night Jungeun couldn’t help but look, convincing herself it was just the way the light hit the girl’s sleeping body that was pretty.

* * *

 

“Wait you didn’t tell me you were bringing Jiwoo,” Jinsoul says, pouting.

They were standing in the foyer of the house, people swarming inside around them. Jungeun was excited for the party, mostly because it had been a while since she and Jiwoo had gotten to let loose together. Plus, her other best friend Jinsoul was here, and though the two girls haven’t historically been the closest, she hopes this party will be another opportunity to bridge that gap.

"Why wouldn’t I bring Jiwoo?” Jungeun questions back, crossing her arms and furrowing her brows.

“Well, where is she?” Jinsoul looks behind her, expecting the human Adderall to just pop up.

“She’s on the way, she got held up with her photography stuff.”

“Okay…well…look, don’t be mad at me—”

“Jinsoul, what does that mean?”

“I really didn’t think you would bring Jiwoo, I mean with how weird you’ve been with her lately…”

“We haven’t been weird…I mean she hasn’t been weird…if anyone’s been weird it’s been me, okay? And even then, I’m really not weird!” Jungeun rolls her eyes at herself for ranting but quickly looks back at Jinsoul with a sober look, pretending it never occurred.

“Oh my god, chill, are we really doing this again? You’re weird okay, just accept it. ANYWAY,” Jinsoul waves her hand, dismissing any more ranting from the other girl, “there’s this girl that I want you to meet and I really think she could take your mind off… you know.”

“Jinsoul, seriously?”

“Come on, she’s in the other room, just talk to her! She’s really pretty and smart, I promise!”

Before Jungeun has a chance to react, Jinsoul is roughly pulling her through the house, the two of them hitting people left and right leaving Jungeun to mutter small apologies under her breath.

Jinsoul’s right, the girl, whose name Jungeun learns is Haseul, _is_ really pretty and she does seem smart. Apparently, she’s even in the Student Government Association and has her own show on the school’s radio station.

Jungeun’s not interested at first, her thoughts consumed with a certain Kim Jiwoo and her impending arrival. After a few shots and some gulps of beer though, Jungeun is loosening up.

Haseul explains that she knows Sooyoung because the two girls used to date back in their first year, and Jungeun just giggles because from the little she’s seen of the taller girl at the party, she cannot picture the two girls ever getting along. They seemed to be total opposites—Haseul being outgoing and friendly with a totally down-for-anything attitude, and honestly, maybe she slightly reminded Jungeun of Jiwoo. But Sooyoung on the other hand, she seemed like an ice queen whose sole goal was manipulating as many people as she could to fall at her feet. Jungeun reminds herself that she hasn’t actually been introduced to Sooyoung yet; However, she was always skeptical of the girls Jinsoul was interested in because she was protective over her best friend and knew she was easily blinded by pretty girls.

“I haven’t actually met Sooyoung yet!” Jungeun shouts over the blaring music.

“Really? You’re like the only person who hasn’t!” Haseul responds back, eyes shifting anxiously to a small girl in the corner with pink hair.

Suddenly Haseul is reaching down to Jungeun’s hand grasping at the girl’s bracelet in admiration.

“This is really pretty, where did you get it?”

“Uh, actually, my best friend bought it for me, she should be coming any moment now!” Jungeun reminds herself again, looking around the room with her hopes up.

“Well, your friend has good taste! It really brings your whole look together, you look super pretty!”

Jungeun unintentionally ignores the girl’s attempt at flirting, flicking her eyes over to where Jinsoul is speaking with another blonde, a blonde Jungeun remembers as a girl who was not too kind to Jinsoul in the past.

“Hey, sorry, I’ll be right back, I just have to go talk to Jinsoul for a sec!”

She leaves Haseul by herself, the short-haired girl clearly trying to focus on anything but the pink-haired observer in the corner who is sipping on a drink alone.

Jungeun walks up to Jinsoul who is animatedly talking to the other blonde, a girl whose name Jungeun remembers as Yujin. She also remembers Jinsoul getting treated like shit by this girl a few months back, and from the looks of it, Jinsoul is falling back into the girl’s trap.

“Hey, Jinsoul, I have to go to the bathroom, come with me?” Jungeun slyly asks, gripping tightly on the girl’s arm and dragging her away from the scowling blonde.

“What’s up, did you talk to Haseul?”

“Yeah, I did, she’s cool. Why the hell are you talking to Yujin, though?”

“Huh? Oh, she just wanted to talk to me about something that’s all.”

“Jinsoul…”

“What? I’m not going to sleep with her again if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Jungeun has brought the two of them off to a corner of the house that’s more secluded and quieter than everywhere else—the dining room. She looks at Jinsoul carefully, analyzing the girl and trying to figure out her motivations.

“I thought you were here for Sooyoung?” Jungeun asks.

“I mean, I am. Nothing’s happened between us yet, but we’ve been flirting a little back and forth, you know.”

“Well, should we go find her?”

“Why?” Jinsoul asks nervously, and Jungeun can’t remember seeing Jinsoul so flustered over a girl.

“So you can introduce me, dumbass. In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve never actually spoken to your girlfriend…”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Jinsoul exclaims, cheeks growing red.

“Well, I hope that changes, so you stay away from that blonde demon.”

“What about _your_ girlfriend?” Jinsoul asks with a smirk, “Where is she?”

Jungeun ignores that whole _girlfriend_ comment and warily looks around, even peeking out the window outside.

“I don’t know, I guess she’s not here yet.”

Jinsoul peeps the way Jungeun’s mood seems to drop at that thought. How did this girl even function around Jiwoo when she was like this? She ponders the thought, eventually reaching for her hand to drag her away towards wherever Sooyoung’s existing.

Jinsoul spots the alluring girl in the living room and quickly introduces the two, smiling brightly as they shake hands.

 _Well she certainly is a femme fatale isn’t she,_ Jungeun thinks, giving the girl a not-so-subtle once over before catching herself.

She and Sooyoung chat for a little bit, finding that they both share a similar cynical sense of humor and love for fashion. Jungeun thinks she’s misjudged the girl and stealthily gives Jinsoul a playful thumbs up.

She notes the way Sooyoung and Jinsoul find any way they possibly can to touch each other. The blonde coolly touches Sooyoung even when the other girl isn’t speaking. And Jungeun doesn’t miss the way she pushes imaginary hairs away from Sooyoung’s face, the latter girl standing with her arm casually around Jinsoul’s shoulders. It’s like a mating ritual is taking place right before Jungeun’s eyes.

Just then, a scowling Go Yujin creeps into the room, staring at the three girls who are mingling and having a good time. Jungeun spots the way Sooyoung’s eyes shift to Yujin and then Jinsoul, and she registers a hint of jealousy on the tall girl’s face.

 _Dyke drama,_ Jungeun sighs, taking a sip of her drink and feeling quite buzzed at this point.

Somewhere along the way, Jinsoul gets wrapped up in a rowdy game of beer pong, and Jungeun is back chatting with Haseul, laughing at the girl’s story about a time she busted her younger sister and her friends smoking weed out of a pineapple. She doesn’t know where Sooyoung’s been off to, but she figures she shouldn’t get involved in Jinsoul’s love life and instead, focuses on her own.

 _Her eyes are really pretty when she smiles,_ Jungeun thinks as Haseul comes closer to whisper in her ear.

Suddenly, Jungeun hears the distinctive noise of laughter, laughter she is all too familiar with and knows Jiwoo is nearby. It shocks Jungeun with just how easily the girl’s presence can affect her entire mood, her body already feeling lighter and her smile never bigger. _This girl really making existing hard,_ Jungeun surmises. She turns her head in the direction of the sound and sees Jiwoo talking to Sooyoung, or rather Sooyoung talking to Jiwoo. The tall girl is closely leaning into the smaller girl’s ear, her hand tightly wrapped around Jiwoo’s waist.

_What the fuck?_

Jungeun knows she shouldn’t be jealous. After all, Jiwoo was friendly to everybody and loved meeting new people, but Jungeun _also_ recognizes the look that Sooyoung is giving Jiwoo. It’s not a _friendly_ look. Jinsoul must have realized it too because the blonde saunters up next to her, grabbing her arm and shooting her a look that Jungeun registers as disappointment.

“Soooo, I don’t think either of us expected this,” Jinsoul’s says, voice more monotone than usual.

“Yeah, no shit, Jinsoul,” Jungeun scoffs out, watching the tall girl whisper in Jiwoo’s ear again, her left hand reaching down to slip into Jiwoo’s back pocket. She tears her eyes away, feeling like she has the spins.

But what neither of the observing girls notices once they turn their backs are the frequent nervous glances Sooyoung is shooting over to Jinsoul who is now frantically trying to throw back shots.

Jungeun doesn’t know how long Jiwoo’s even been here, but the thought that she’s been talking to Sooyoung for a while and hasn’t even bothered to catch up with her best friend really hurts her in a way she’s not familiar with. She’s not used to being mad at Jiwoo. Truthfully, it was a really hard thing to achieve. She also knows she has no right to be jealous. After all, Jiwoo was her best friend, not her girlfriend as Jinsoul may have teased earlier. And anyway, Jungeun doesn’t think she was ever that jealous when Jiwoo told her about the girls she went on dates with over the years, so why was she so bothered now?

Jungeun shakes her head and decides to focus her attention back on Haseul, the sharp pang of jealousy reverberating through her body.

Haseul is still cheery, telling the brunette stories that would have charmed the pants off anyone. But for Jungeun, all she can think of is her best friend behind her loudly flirting with Sooyoung. She can only imagine the grimace on her own face right now.

She curiously turns back over to where Jiwoo and Sooyoung are, noticing that Jiwoo has pink roller skates in her hand—who knows where those came from—and finding it extremely cute. Jiwoo was always the type of person to seek out adventure, and Jungeun wouldn’t be surprised if the lively girl decided this morning that she was going to skate her way around from now on.

 _Maybe that’s why she was so late,_ Jungeun wonders to herself.

Resisting the urge to glance over at the couple again, Jungeun turns her attention back to Haseul, deciding to give in to the beautiful, clearly-interested girl in front of her. After all, Jiwoo was having fun, why couldn’t she?

She carefully grasps Haseul’s wrist, leading her to where everyone is dancing and pulls the girl in close. Haseul smiles and leans in to whisper to her.

“You know, I was nervous about coming here tonight,” the girl starts, “I just broke up with my girlfriend, or I guess ex-girlfriend, Vivi, and I thought I would just be depressed the whole time.”

“I have a hard time imagining you moping around,” Jungeun whispers back into the girl’s ear.

“Ha, well…actually, Vivi’s here right now. She was watching us earlier—can you believe that?”

Jungeun feels a wave of realization washing over her. Jinsoul must have known Haseul and Vivi had just broken up, which is why she set Jungeun up with her. She must have figured the girls would be good rebounds for each other. Although, Jungeun isn’t sure what _she’s_ supposed to be rebounding from.

She desperately looks back over in the direction of where Jiwoo and Sooyoung were and begins a frantic search with her eyes when she can’t find them.

Eventually she does, though. They’re dancing together only about 10 feet away from her and Haseul, and even through the groups of bodies, Jungeun can see Jiwoo throwing her head back, clearly having a good time.

 _Fuck it,_ she thinks.

Jungeun grabs Haseul’s waist and leans back to her ear deciding that this night was going to go _her_ way.

“I have to admit something to you,” she says a bit slowly, “there’s a girl I like, my best friend, actually. Right now, she’s dancing with Sooyoung, who I’m sure you could tell Jinsoul was trying to get with…”

Jungeun pauses, pulling back to gauge Haseul’s reaction and the other girl just looks at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

“Anyway, I know you’re probably only talking to me because you’re trying to make your ex-girlfriend jealous, and honestly I don’t care. Because right now, I’m sort of feeling the same way. Plus, you’re hot and it’s been a long time since I’ve had a good time.”

Jungeun pulls back to shoot an attractive smile at Haseul, who slowly returns one of her own.

“Sounds good to me!” Haseul shouts, pulling Jungeun closer to her as they sway wildly.

Sometime later, Jinsoul plops down on a couch next to a couple that is intensely making out and tries desperately to catch her breath. Her head is dizzy and after several losing games of beer pong, she’s feeling especially out of it. She looks around the room, observing the way people are caught up in each other and reflects on how the night has gone. She spots an intoxicated Jungeun loudly (and very haphazardly) singing karaoke, arm wrapped around Haseul. The latter girl is pressing sloppy kisses onto Jungeun’s neck, which proves to be difficult since both girls can barely stand. Across the room, Sooyoung is dancing provocatively with Jiwoo, which, Jinsoul notes, looks awkward.

The longer she stares at everyone, however, the longer Jinsoul notices just how complicated and messy the situation at hand is.

While Sooyoung is grabbing sensually at any part of Jiwoo she can, the smaller girl is casting wistful looks over to where Jungeun is now very drunkenly making out with Haseul. Over by the door, a girl with pink hair is gazing longingly at the two of them, and Jinsoul swears she sees Haseul open her eyes mid-kiss to lock eyes with the girl. Meanwhile, Jinsoul casts one final sad glance back to Sooyoung, and she feels a chill when the taller girl stares into Jinsoul’s eyes as she grabs Jiwoo’s ass.

 _This is an absolute gay disaster,_ she thinks.

* * *

 

As the party dies down, Jinsoul walks around the house and takes in the damage done. There are scuff marks covering the floor, red solo cups as far as the eye can see, candy wrappers for some reason, and a ton of bottle caps, like a lot. There are also quite a few passed out bodies scattered around, stragglers who couldn’t hold on through the night. Jinsoul chuckles at them, flashing back to memories of some of her first college parties. A part of her is sad, though. She was hoping to get so wasted she, too, would wake up not knowing where she was, but instead, she decided to sip on water for the past couple of hours, feeling down.

She remembers seeing Sooyoung kiss Jiwoo and she remembers seeing Jungeun kiss Haseul. And she definitely doesn’t forget seeing Jungeun _watch_ Sooyoung kiss Jiwoo and Jiwoo also _watch_ Jungeun kiss Haseul. She rubs her temples at the memory.

She doesn’t understand why, but the more she watched Sooyoung and Jiwoo throughout the night, the more Sooyoung gazed over at her, seeming to communicate something with her eyes that Jinsoul was too not-sober to figure out. She remembers seeing them disappear at some point, Yujin coming over and trying her luck with Jinsoul one last time.

Jinsoul toyed with the idea for a little while, and then decided she would rather leave by herself than spend another night with another girl who broke her heart.

 _At least Jungeun got lucky,_ she thinks to herself. She patted herself on the back for her amazing matchmaking skills, reminding herself to ask Jungeun how it was later.

The clock reads 4:24 AM and Jinsoul decides that it’s high time for her to hit the road. She makes one last trip to the bathroom which at this point is so trashed that even squatting Jinsoul feels dirty.

As she exits the bathroom, she feels a hand on her wrist. It’s Sooyoung.

“Hey, I thought you left already,” the taller girl says, eyes flicking back and forth nervously.

“Actually, I was just heading out, I don’t really feel like crashing.”

“Right. Well, I’m glad you came although I’m sad we didn’t get to spend much time together…”

Jinsoul feels her brain melting with confusion and a little bit of frustration. But she found it hard to be mad at Sooyoung, she liked her too much.

“I mean, it seemed like you were occupied by Jiwoo, so nothing I could really do, I guess.”

“I…I mean, but what about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You and Yujin, Jinsoul. I saw you guys.”

Jinsoul thinks that if the girl in front of her wasn’t so pretty that she would call her an idiot right to her face. Fortunately for future Jinsoul, Sooyoung is literally the hottest girl Jinsoul’s ever laid eyes on, so she doesn’t.

“Sooyoung, what are you talking about? Yujin and I aren’t a thing anymore and haven’t been for a while.”

“Are you serious?”

Jinsoul sighs, suddenly feeling tired.

“Yeah, I mean, truthfully the whole reason I came here was to chill with you. I didn’t give a rat’s ass whether Yujin showed up or not.”

Sooyoung blushes and has the most apologetic look on her face that Jinsoul’s ever seen on another person.

“Jinsoul, I’m so sorry. That’s just not what Yujin told me and I don’t know, I saw you guys talking at one point and—”

“Yujin’s a crazy bitch,” Jinsoul sharply points out.

“I’ve heard that before—I really should have known…I guess I just got jealous and wanted to make you feel the same way. That’s so immature, I know. I’m really sorry.”

Jinsoul starts laughing hysterically realizing just how big of a theme jealousy played in the night’s festivities. She stops though as Sooyoung gives her another look of apology, her eyes becoming wide and her lips pouty.

“Don’t make that face,” Jinsoul firmly states, mad at herself for finding it so cute. “You remember my best friend, Jungeun, right? Well, she and I dated for nine months, isn’t that shit crazy? Nobody sticks with me for that long…anyway, _Jiwoo_ is Jungeun’s best friend and the girl that she’s literally obsessed with. Don’t tell her I told you that. Anyway, the whole time we were together Jungeun always made excuses to be with Jiwoo, excuses that went _beyond_ just ‘best friend’ behavior.”

Sooyoung’s starting to realize just how much she’s screwed up.

“To my ex-girlfriend, I always came second place behind Jiwoo.” Jinsoul pauses to stare right at Sooyoung, waiting until the other girl meets her eyes. “I just think it’s funny that of all the girls you could have chosen to make me jealous, you chose to sleep with Jiwoo.”

Sooyoung steps closer then, shaking her head frantically.

“I didn’t sleep with Jiwoo, Jinsoul.”

“…really?”

“Yeah, I mean, if I were wasted, I probably would have, I’m not gonna lie. But Jiwoo didn’t want to, anyway. She was too hung up on her _best friend_ Jungeun playing tonsil hockey with Haseul.”

Jinsoul silently cheers in her head, not only because Jiwoo didn’t sleep with Sooyoung, but also because she finally has confirmation that her best friend is not in some unrequited love affair with her best friend.

“Wait, isn’t Haseul your ex-girlfriend, also?” Jinsoul asks, vaguely remembering that from stalking Sooyoung’s old Instagram posts.

“Yup. This school really is like the L word, I’m telling you, _everyone’s_ connected.”

“…and trying to make each other jealous,” Jinsoul points out.

They laugh for a while, and Jinsoul yawns, feeling like she needs to get out soon before she passes out on the floor like the rest of the stragglers.

Sooyoung grabs Jinsoul’s hand and flashes a shy look her way.

“I’m really sorry about tonight. The whole Jiwoo thing didn’t mean anything to me. I just…I don’t want to end things with you before they’ve even begun.”

“Well how about you text me tomorrow, so I know you’re serious? And preferably the day after that, too. Hopefully with a selfie attached,” Jinsoul winks.

Sooyoung laughs, instantly feeling better.

“No problem, blondie. Do you need me to call you an Uber?”

“Nah, my dorm’s not that far of a walk, it won’t take me very long.”

“You can walk my arm back if you’d like?”

Jinsoul smiles and pretends to think hard about it, finally nodding at the other girl.

* * *

 

It’s 8:43 AM when Jungeun wakes up. Her eyes feel glued shut and her mouth is dry. Not to mention, she’s sporting a throbbing headache that she suspects some Aspirin won’t cure.

She turns over in the plush double bed, a bed that is not hers she notes and looks down at her disheveled companion who is still fast asleep and drooling on her pillow. She begins to piece together the hazy scenes she recalls from the night before and instantly cringes at the memories.

She vaguely remembers Haseul breaking down over her ex-girlfriend after they had sex. She shrieked loudly that Vivi would _always_ take care of her when she was hungover and now, she would be tending to her wounds herself. She remembers not knowing how to comfort the girl who was bawling, wanting to pass out and die instead. She remembers drunkenly making out with the girl in the back of their Uber, Haseul’s keys in her pocket digging into Jungeun’s thigh. She probably still had a bruise from that, she guesses. But what catches her off guard is the one memory she had hoped to forget the most: the memory of watching Jiwoo get swept off her feet by Sooyoung—the two making out and Sooyoung dragging her determinedly upstairs, Jiwoo not paying Jungeun any mind at all.

In fact, Jungeun doesn’t remember them saying a single word to each other at the party at all. Her chest aches at the realization of it all and she feels like she might start crying or puking any second, so she quickly climbs out of Haseul’s bed and heads for the bathroom. It takes a second to find her clothes, her pants somehow hiding underneath the bed, her panties flung on a chair across the room. She gracelessly gathers up the clothing, slipping it on as quietly as possible and stumbles into the bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror, silently thanking the gods above she has no hickeys on her neck. After she takes care of her business, she glances down at her phone, hoping to find something from Jiwoo.

There’s nothing.

Jungeun sighs, the jealousy and hurt still residing comfortably in her body. She shakes her head to get the images of Jiwoo and Sooyoung out of her head. Genuinely wondering if Jiwoo made it back home alright, she debates being the first to send a text, but she puts her phone away, feeling a bit of anger bubble back up.

Jungeun isn’t sure what her emotions are doing. She knows she shouldn’t be so upset—after all, she did the same thing Jiwoo did. But it wasn’t typical of Jungeun to have one-night stands, in fact, she realizes, this was her first one.

However, she knows it wasn’t Jiwoo’s first. The girl had casually mentioned others before. Seeing it in front of her face was different, though. Jungeun wonders what will even come out of her mouth when she goes back to their shared dorm room and lays eyes on her best friend.

 _Maybe I can just avoid her,_ Jungeun thinks.

She nearly smacks herself in the face, outraged with herself for being such a coward.

Jungeun stiffly makes her way out of the bathroom and spots Haseul now sitting up in bed on her phone. The short-haired girl looks sheepishly over at the brunette trying to be stealth in her escape.

“Hey,” she says to Jungeun, smiling shyly.

“Hey, I actually have to go,” Jungeun replies detachedly, pretending to receive a text on her phone.

Haseul chuckles gently and nods her head. “That’s okay, I honestly didn’t expect to see you here when I woke up.” The girl pauses, soaking in the awkwardness in the room. “I had a good time last night.”

Jungeun nods a little too enthusiastically, trying to be as nonchalant as possible and failing. “Yeah, uh, me too. It was fun…um. Thanks!”

Haseul laughs and watches as Jungeun gives her one last nod of her head, sidling quickly out of the door and on her merry way.

On her long walk back, Jungeun stops at a McDonalds, craving greasy food and lots of it. Regret soon dwarfs any other emotions she has as her stomach instantly has difficulty digesting the food. It’s also slightly chilly outside, which the girl swears is sobering her up, though it could also be the mass of French fries she threw back. As she’s nearing her dorm, she receives a text. She freaks out, whipping the phone in front of her, only slightly disappointed when she sees it’s from Jinsoul.

She scolds herself when she remembers the girl is in the same rough spot she is. _Poor Jinsoul,_ she thinks. Sooyoung screwed her over, too.

 

 **_[Jingolas] sup party girl hope u didn’t have TOO much fun ;)_ **  
**_[Jungeun] Well, I currently have an 8/10 hangover and can barely remember my first one-night stand. What about you?_ **  
**_[Jingolas] lol so u did have too much fun huh?_ **  
**_[Jingolas] I actually need to talk to u when u have a min_ **  
**_[Jungeun] I’m almost back home. I need a shower and a nap. Maybe later?_ **  
**_[Jingolas] aight fine but its kind of important so hmu later…_ **

 

Jungeun doesn’t have the ability to think right now let alone have a serious conversation with Jinsoul. As she makes her way into the dorm lobby, her mind never drifting from Jiwoo, she notices something she missed earlier.

The bracelet she was wearing last night, the one Jiwoo gave her, is gone. She groans in woeful frustration and guilt, knowing that the bracelet was probably at Haseul’s, which meant that the last contact she had with the girl wouldn’t be the last, after all.

Striding into the cold elevator, Jungeun starts to feel the panic rising in her chest. What if Jiwoo is already there? What if Jiwoo brought Sooyoung back to their room for some reason and they’re both there? What if she’s asleep? Can Jungeun creep back in just quick enough to get her shower stuff and then zip out before Jiwoo notices?

The elevator dings noisily and pierces Jungeun’s ears before she steps into the hallway. The brunette nervously bites her lip as she makes her way to her room. She stalls apprehensively in front of the door taking the deepest breath she can manage, unsure of what to expect. There’s a part of her that debates turning around and just going to Jinsoul’s and taking a shower there. But she’s already here and she needs her backpack for her classes later. Plus, a big part of her _wants_ Jiwoo to see her come back from her walk of shame. She feels guilty for feeling that way and it’s just compounded because she knows she only slept with Haseul to make Jiwoo jealous. The thought that it might not have even worked makes Jungeun’s head and chest hurt so badly that she distracts herself by quickly storming through the door. Gotta rip that band-aid off, eventually.

Jungeun’s too scared to look up at first, barely raising her head up as she struts over to her dresser. But it becomes very apparent that she’s the only one here.

For some reason, that makes her even sadder.

She cheerlessly grabs her shower stuff and a change of clothes and heads to the bathroom, imploring her brain to think of anything other than her best friend who is still comfortably nestled up with another girl in bed.

* * *

 

When Jungeun is walking back from her classes later that afternoon she figures she’s feeling okay enough to talk to Jinsoul.

She and Jiwoo never ran into each other. Jungeun eventually received a short text from Jiwoo saying that she was on her way home, but Jungeun was already heading to her classes. She feels relieved but also wishes the two would just get it over with already, the constant anxiety making her feel sick.

When Jungeun dials Jinsoul’s number, the blonde answers on the second ring.

"Yo, yo, yo. How’s your headache?”

“It’s better. Although sitting through a two-and-a-half-hour sociology lecture didn’t really help.”

“I bet. So, what’s the consensus? Was last night eventful or what?”

“Eventful? Yeah, Jinsoul, it was eventful alright. We both got our hearts broken, woohoo.”

She hears Jinsoul giggle and wonders how the blonde is acting so cool about everything.

“But at least my widdle Jungeunnie actually got some!”

Jungeun resists the urge to make a snarky remark at Jinsoul, instead trying to fake any positivity she can, “yeah…yeah, I guess that was cool.”

Jinsoul snorts at the girl’s reaction, wondering why her best friend is so damn weird.

“Anyway, have you seen Jiwoo yet?”

“No.”

“Okay, well, I need to talk to you about…all that,” Jinsoul says ominously.

“If you’re going to lecture me on how I need to confess already, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“No, you big baby, I was just gonna pass along some spicy information that Sooyoung gave me.”

“You’ve spoken to Sooyoung?” Jungeun asks curiously, wondering if that means Jinsoul’s heard from Jiwoo, too.

“Yeah, uh, where do I even start? Um, well I saw Sooyoung before I left early this morning…she apologized to me.”

Jungeun scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Great, she _apologized,_ and so what? You accepted her _apology?”_

“I did actually, yeah, and it doesn’t mean we’re gonna date or anything, but at least we’re not on bad terms!” Jinsoul exclaims, a twinge of hope in her voice, Jungeun notices.

“Jinsoul, she slept with Jiwoo!”

“No, they didn’t sleep together, Jungeun. Besides, Sooyoung was just doing it to make me jealous.”

Jungeun feels her stomach churning at the prospect of Jiwoo _not_ sleeping with Sooyoung. She feels relief, but barely—after all, she still witnessed them sucking face.

“Oh, okay, she was only doing it to make you jealous! You’re right, that’s girlfriend material right there, Jinsoul!” Jungeun spits out sarcastically, mad that Jinsoul’s letting herself get treated like crap once again.

“Jungeun, don’t be a bitch. You slept with Haseul just to make Jiwoo jealous, I’m not stupid.”

“Uh, and how do you know that? Maybe I just wanted to sleep with her!”

“Because I know you, kiddo. Anyway, shut up for a second, Sooyoung told me something else—”

“No, I don’t care what Sooyoung told you, Jinsoul. I’m glad you guys worked things out or whatever, but she used Jiwoo and that’s shitty.”

Jungeun is in her dorm elevator for what feels like the tenth time today—maybe she should start taking the stairs—and she decides this conversation is over when she reaches her floor.

“Jungeun, wait—”

“I gotta go, talk to you later.”

She hangs up the phone and walks down the hallway, feeling the same sense of dread she felt earlier, only now there’s a silver lining. Jiwoo _didn’t_ sleep with Sooyoung. Jungeun mulls over why their affair didn’t reach that point considering it certainly looked like that’s where it was headed. Maybe Jiwoo was just too tired and/or too drunk to sleep with Sooyoung. Or maybe Jiwoo _did_ try and sleep with Sooyoung, but the taller girl refused once they were out of Jinsoul’s sight. The thought of Jiwoo potentially getting rejected by Sooyoung evokes a simultaneous feeling of both victory and anguish—picturing Jiwoo getting heartbroken in any way makes Jungeun feel blue.

When Jungeun reaches her room, she notices the door slightly ajar. While a sight like that would usually persuade Jungeun to pull out the pepper spray her dad bought her, right now her self-preservation is nowhere to be found.

She isn’t surprised to see Jiwoo, in all her radiant glory, already in the room, seemingly fast asleep. There’s a trail of clothes leading to her bed and she guesses Jiwoo must have been pretty out of it when she got back, hence the door.

For a while, Jungeun just stares at the girl, feeling like she hasn’t seen her in months. Jiwoo hasn’t taken a shower, Jungeun notes, eye makeup still smeared on her cheeks, hair disheveled and in desperate need of brushing.

 _Still beautiful,_ Jungeun thinks, wondering how that’s possible. She inches slightly closer and peeps the lipstick stains that are littered over Jiwoos’ jaw and neck. Ouch.

Figuring she should probably stop being a creep and get some much-needed rest herself, Jungeun begins to change into an old t-shirt and shorts. She lets her gaze wander around the room, settling unintentionally on Jiwoo’s calendar, where she notices something that makes her heart drop.

“Shit, Jiwoo…” she whispers. Tip-toeing over to the calendar, Jungeun double-checks and then glances at the clock on the wall.

There was no mistaking it—Jiwoo was supposed to be working at the pet store in an hour. Jungeun contemplates waking the girl up but stays frozen. She gazes forlornly down at Jiwoo, noticing the girl now drooling on her pillow. The sight makes a small smile curl at Jungeun’s lips.

Jungeun sighs and quickly looks up the number to the pet store online and takes a deep breath before dialing the number.

A man who she assumes is Jiwoo’s boss answers the phone and Jungeun explains that poor little Jiwoo is sick as a dog, which almost makes her snort once she realizes her unintentional pun, and that she won’t be coming in to work. The man, who sounds almost as unnaturally cheery as Jiwoo does, acts mega concerned. Jungeun is a tad bit surprised at how easily the guy swallows the lie—her acting skills aren’t the best, to be honest. But then the guy quickly rants about Jiwoo being his best employee and Jungeun gets it. She knows that _nobody_ would believe Jiwoo intentionally faking sick to get out of work. The girl had a passion for animals that couldn’t be crushed and a work ethic that often inspired Jungeun. She wonders if Jiwoo will be mad at her for not waking her up for work— _probably,_ she guesses. Once she gets off the phone, the brunette pulls out a pen and a post-it note, informing Jiwoo that she was off the hook for today’s pet store blunder. Sticking it on the girl’s phone, she smiles one last time at her before collapsing on her own bed.

A few hours later, Jungeun wakes up disoriented but not as achy as before. Rubbing her eyes, she pulls up her phone and reads the time: 7:37 PM.

 _Great,_ she thinks, _my sleep schedule is totally screwed._

Feeling eyes on her, she shifts her body so that she’s facing the other side of the room. She witnesses a miraculous sight: a now-clean Jiwoo with her hair pulled loosely in a ponytail propped up on one elbow, twirling a lollipop in the other hand and staring calmly over at Jungeun. The girl must have been reading, Jungeun observes, her textbook sprawled out on the side of the bed in front of her. Jiwoo’s wearing the Sailor Moon shirt Jungeun bought her for her birthday a few years ago and her heart warms at the sight of the red wine stains that still mar the fabric.

Jungeun’s mind quickly flashes back to that day—she and Jiwoo crashing a stranger’s birthday party in her old neighborhood, jacking one of the bottles of red wine before taking off running to the neighborhood playground. She nearly cracks up when she remembers Jiwoo kicking her legs wildly on one of the swings while simultaneously trying to take a sip of the alcohol, effectively spilling it all over her body. She also remembers the sappy, intoxicated girl apologizing profusely with tears streaming down her face, squeezing the brunette tightly the rest of the night and reeking of red wine.

“Good morning,” Jiwoo says peacefully, her mouth making a popping sound as she sucks on the lollipop.

Jungeun is brought harshly out of her thoughts at the voice. Everything feels _too_ normal and she’s not awake enough to remember all the events that led her here.

“Morning,” she chuckles out, stretching her arms above her head.

“Thanks for calling out of work for me…I guess I was pretty darn out of it, huh?”

“That’s an understatement, Jiwooming. When I got home, the door wasn’t even shut,” she giggles and rubs her eyes again. Then she smiles at the girl across from her once she opens them back up.

Jiwoo pauses as if remembering something and then sticks the lollipop back in her mouth, speaking around it as Jungeun resisted glancing down.

“Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep last night,” the smaller girl says, gazing down at her textbook but not reading the words.

It’s then that everything comes flooding back into Jungeun’s mind. Her eyes flicker down to Jiwoo’s neck, remembering the lipstick stains that dwelled there earlier. She turns her body, deciding to stare up at the ceiling instead, suddenly wishing she was still asleep.

She can feel the girl’s eyes boring into her and faintly makes out the sucking sounds of Jiwoo’s mouth.

“Last night was fun though, right?” Jiwoo asks her, uncertainty laced in her voice.

Jungeun smiles bitterly. “I don’t know about that, Jiwoo. I think…I think I would have had more fun if I got to spend some time with my best friend.” She whips her head at the girl then, a harsh glare on her face.

Jiwoo doesn’t say anything for a while, pulling the lollipop out of her mouth and just holding it in her hand.

“I know,” Jiwoo says glumly, avoiding Jungeun’s eyes. “It’s just that when I got there, I saw you and that girl hanging out and you guys seemed to be hitting it off, so…”

“I was just trying to pass the time until you got there, Jiwoo.”

“But I was there, Jungeun—”

“Yeah, but you were with _Sooyoung,”_ Jungeun spits out way more bitterly than intended.

Jiwoo pouts animatedly at her and Jungeun pulls out her phone, pretending to be disinterested in the conversation. She couldn’t see Jiwoo make that face right now, she just couldn’t.

“Sooyoung’s nice,” Jiwoo says then, still pouting. “But…nothing happened, Jungeun. She took me upstairs and I started to feel sorta sick, so she took care of me. But we didn’t do anything.”

“But if you didn’t feel sick?” Jungeun asks, still clicking on different apps on her phone, her full attention secretly on the redhead.

Jiwoo doesn’t say anything. Jungeun smirks in bitter victory.

“I don’t actually care, Jiwoo,” Jungeun lies, “So we didn’t really hang last night, whatever, it’s not a big deal. Besides, you’re right, I was a little too preoccupied with Haseul to focus on anything or _anybody_ else,” she lies again.

“Jungeunnie, I know you’re lying. I know you’re sad I didn’t come talk to you and I’m sorry…”

Jungeun hears the girl crunching down on the lollipop.

“Jiwoo, it’s really fine. You don’t have to say sorry,” Jungeun proclaims while rolling her eyes, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“I do. And I’ll keep doing it!” Jiwoo exclaims decisively and the conversation ends there.

Neither of them speaks for a while, Jungeun scrolling through Instagram and checking her emails. Jiwoo closes her textbook at some point, walking casually over to grab the peach-colored journal that she bought on one of her many shopping trips with the brunette. The girl writes her thoughts in it almost every night. Jungeun knows it’s because the girl has trouble expressing them out loud.

She shifts her eyes over to Jiwoo for a split-second, her brain stuck on what the girl could possibly be writing, if any of it was about her, about Sooyoung.

The rest of the night is spent peacefully, though admittedly an air of awkwardness still lingers in the room. When they don’t think the other one is looking, they spare timid glances towards each other. They both contemplate breaking and just spilling out their feelings, but neither of them are brave enough for that. Besides, they both have way too much unfinished schoolwork they know they should be focusing their attention spans on.

Their friendship difficulties would have to wait.

* * *

 

The next morning, Jungeun is awoken by a shrill alarm piercing her ears, but it’s not hers. She remembers that Jiwoo has class this morning. She’s surprised when the other girl turns it off, intent on going back to sleep. It’s not like Jiwoo to not only miss work but miss class, as well. Jungeun decides it’s not her business and tries to fall back asleep to no avail.

Eventually, they both get up. Following their separate morning routines, they occasionally catch each other’s eyes and look away awkwardly.

Jiwoo is the first one to speak but what she says is not what Jungeun is expecting.

“Shoot! My roller skates!”

Jiwoo lightly smacks her forehead frowning.

Jungeun smiles at the memory of the redhead at the party, hot-pink roller skates dangling from her hand.

“I noticed that little purchase of yours,” she says, her smile still there. “Let me guess, you lost ‘em at the party?”

Jiwoo takes her head out of her hands, nodding.

“They were _really_ expensive, Jungie! And I know you think I spend too easily, but I woke up that morning and felt the strongest desire to bring roller skates back! I had to get them…”

Jungeun chuckles, suddenly remembering the bracelet Jiwoo gave her that was still at Haseul’s place.

“I’m sure you did.”

There’s a brief silence before the redhead speaks up again.

“I didn’t get Sooyoung’s number, otherwise I would just ask to come get them.”

Jungeun tries not to feel so satisfied at Jiwoo confirming she and Sooyoung had no plans to meet up again.

“Well, I actually lost something too—you know that red bracelet you got me?”

Jiwoo nods.

“I think I left it…at Haseul’s place.”

Then the girl frowns and looks away.

“Why don’t we make a trip of it?” Jungeun suggests, and she knows this a terrible idea, but she was desperate to get the two of them back to normal. Maybe spending the day on a scavenger hunt for their lost items was the way to do that.

“I guess…I don’t really wanna just show up at Sooyoung’s, though. It’s…awkward.” Jiwoo states anxiously.

“Oh! Jinsoul has her number, I’m sure she could just ask her! In fact, I will text her right now,” Jungeun says, pulling out her phone and letting her thumbs go to work.

Jiwoo watches her for a bit before she buttons up her lavender cardigan half-way. She bends down and checks herself in the mirror, applying some more mascara before standing up and facing the other girl.

“Huh, wow Jinsoul,” Jungeun mumbles under her breath as she stares at her phone.

“What?”

The brunette looks up at Jiwoo, her breath hitching at how pretty she looks.

“Uh…w-well, apparently Jinsoul’s already _at_ Sooyoung’s,” she rolls her eyes before continuing, “she said we can come swing by and grab your skates whenever.”

Jiwoo perks up at that, running over to hug the other girl, freezing when she realizes how stiff she is.

“Sorry,” Jiwoo mumbles, backing away slowly, a slight blush on her cheeks.

Jungeun wants to scream. She knows the other girl has no reason to feel sorry, but she just stays silent like the coward she is. _This is getting old,_ she thinks.

A little while later they’re riding the bus. Between the terse small talk and frustrated rants about classes, Jungeun finds that the awkward bubble they seemed to be stuck in isn’t going away. At one point, Jiwoo’s hand wrapped snuggly around her own. Jungeun knew it was done out of habit. The other girl doesn’t even notice she’s done it until she catches the brunette staring at their hands, eyes wide. She pulls away as discretely as she can, but Jungeun knows it was just an attempt to casually put some space back between them.

Soon they arrive at Sooyoung’s house. Both girls inhale deeply—they know the situation they’re about to walk into likely won’t be fun.

Jungeun didn’t realize the other night how huge the house is. She knows Sooyoung has a few roommates, but the girl must be well-off to afford a place like this. Maybe that’s why Jinsoul likes her so much. Sooyoung certainly seems like the type to litter her significant other with lots of gifts.

They both go to knock on the door at the same time, looking sheepishly at each other and giggling awkwardly.

Jungeun is surprised when Jinsoul is the one who opens the door, and she wonders if Sooyoung sent her just so the taller girl didn’t have to confront Jiwoo again.

“Sup, gays,” Jinsoul says, suavely motioning them inside.

 _Someone’s cheery,_ Jungeun thinks and she knows she’ll have to ask about that later.

“Hey, Jinsoul!” Jiwoo grins gleefully, but Jungeun can tell the girl is uncomfortable.

Jinsoul sends Jungeun a look and she knows that the blonde is curious about them showing up together. The brunette wants to stick her tongue out at the girl—she could be so nosy sometimes.

“I heard a little fairy princess lost her wheels.”

“That’s true,” Jungeun quickly states, not wanting to waste time. “Where are they?”

Jinsoul mimes towards the living room and begins to head that direction when a familiar figure makes her way down the stairs.

 _Great,_ Jungeun thinks, _she’s still as hot as I remember._

Sooyoung sophisticatedly strolls up to all of them, an unfazed look on her face, shooting a quick look at Jiwoo before addressing the whole group.

“Hey, nice to see you guys again.”

There’s a pause where they all seem to be waiting for someone to speak up. No one does.

Jinsoul’s eyes are darting around wildly and she can’t help her laughter at how fucking awkward the situation is.

Jiwoo’s eyes have turned into half-moons as she smiles jovially trying to hide her discomfort. She looks over to Jungeun like she’s expecting the girl to say something, but she doesn’t.

Sooyoung flips her hair, a motion that seems so refined, Jungeun wouldn’t be surprised if she practiced it in the mirror.

“So, your roller skates are in here,” the tall girl motions to the living room next to them, “I’ll just grab them for you.”

Jungeun watches Jinsoul’s eyes follow the girl and land on her ass, her tongue sticking slightly out all the while. Jiwoo must catch it too because she grabs Jungeun’s arm and raises her eyebrows.

Sooyoung saunters back in, smiling softly at Jinsoul before walking up to Jiwoo, arm extended, hot-pink roller skates dangling from her hand.

“Yay! Thank you so much, I just got these!”

“I remember you saying that,” Sooyoung says a little too affectionately for Jungeun’s tastes.

The brunette gazes down at Sooyoung’s pouty lips, the lips that were glued onto Jiwoo’s just two nights ago. Images of the two of them grabbing at each other, tongues dueling, flash into her brain and she has a sudden urge to claw the taller girl’s eyes out.

“Well, anyway, we have to go. Thanks for letting us swing by.” Jungeun says stiffly, gripping the back of Jiwoo’s cardigan and tugging her away. Jinsoul gives her a funny look.

“You don’t wanna hang out for a little bit?” The blonde asks, Jungeun knowing she’s only asking to irritate her.

“No, Jinsoul, we actually have places to be, but I’ll talk to you later.”

“You better! I have a test coming up and I need my study buddy or I’m literally gonna flunk out of college.”

“I can help you study!” Sooyoung offers delightfully, gazing at the blonde with doe eyes.

Jungeun almost gags so she quickly pushes Jiwoo out the front door, shouting out a final goodbye.

When they reach the street Jiwoo looks at Jungeun and laughs hysterically, expecting the other girl to join in but she doesn’t.

Jiwoo’s smile drops, and wow, Jungeun is really getting tired of seeing the girl so out of her element because of her.

Clutching the roller skates tightly as they walk back to the bus stop, the redhead gets an idea and tugs on Jungeun’s arm to stop her in her tracks.

“Hey Jungeunnie, how about you hop on my back and I skate us back home?” Jiwoo giggles at the idea, looking over at the brunette with a mischievous expression.

“Jiwoo, I don’t think I feel like dying today,” Jungeun replies, the tiniest of smiles on her face. “Besides, as the taller of the two of us, it would make more sense for you to get on _my_ back instead.”

Jiwoo smacks her arm pretending to be offended.

“You’ve barely got an inch on me!” She exclaims, reaching out to wrap her arm around Jungeun’s.

“But it’s an inch, nonetheless.”

“Fine. I guess we’ll just _walk_ back home…but I just wanna say that you’re not helping me achieve my dream of bringing roller skates back in style, meanie.”

“You don’t need my help, you little trendsetter,” Jungeun teases, both girls knowing that Jiwoo’s fashion sense is…unique, to say the least.

They walk comfortably for a few minutes just enjoying each other’s company. It feels like the awkward bubble they were in earlier has finally been popped until Jungeun remembers something that she hopes doesn’t summon it back.

“Oh crap, I forgot I texted Haseul earlier about getting my bracelet back.”

Jiwoo looks over waiting for the brunette to continue.

“Mind if we stop there first? It’s not that far from here—a few blocks at most, I think.”

She really doesn’t want to say yes, but Jiwoo also doesn’t want to say no, knowing that Jungeun accompanied her to Sooyoung’s and she should return the favor.

“Um, yeah, sure.”

“Cool,” Jungeun says, rerouting them and staring down at the map on her phone.

When they make it to Haseul’s, Jungeun texts the girl letting her know she’s arrived. She expects the short-haired girl to just meet them downstairs, but after minutes of not receiving a response back, the two Kims drag themselves through the building.

Jungeun looks back down at her texts to confirm the apartment number Haseul gave her and pulls Jiwoo along, stopping swiftly when they’ve arrived. She suddenly realizes the extent of how much she didn’t think this through. Regret fills her up when she thinks of how she could have just asked the other girl to wait downstairs. Instead, Jiwoo is right next to her, staring uncomfortably at the door Jungeun just knocked.

After about thirty seconds, Haseul opens the door, and Jungeun’s heart stops.

The girl had clearly been in the shower. She greets them with wet hair and a mismatched shirt and shorts combo that she clearly just threw on. She’s also not wearing a bra, Jungeun notices, willing herself to not think about that fact.

She feels Jiwoo making nervous little noises next to her and remembers that she didn’t exactly tell Haseul she was bringing someone else along.

“Hey…” Haseul trails off hesitantly, smiling at Jungeun before shifting her gaze to Jiwoo.

“Hey, Haseul, sorry I forgot to text you this, but this is my best friend, Jiwoo,” the bubbly girl awkwardly waves as Jungeun introduces her, “We were already out so I figured I’d just stop by and get my bracelet!”

Haseul looks uncomfortable but she reaches out her hand, shaking Jiwoo’s slowly.

“No problem, uh, you guys can come in, by the way!”

Once they’re standing in Haseul’s apartment, Jungeun feels a sense of impending doom.

It’s awkward, really fucking awkward.

It’s a studio apartment, which means Haseul’s bed is on full display, something Jiwoo has fully noticed.

In fact, the smaller girl keeps her eyes trained on the bed, occasionally flicking them over to the girl who is now walking around, clearly trying to remember where she put Jungeun’s bracelet.

“Do you guys want some water or something?” Haseul asks, nervously licking her lips and stumbling around, opening drawers.

“No!” Jungeun and Jiwoo both answer, refusing to look at each other.

Jiwoo can’t help but picture a drunk Jungeun and Haseul, storming through the door, lips and limbs tangling. She visualizes the two of them making their way to the bed— _that_ bed, the one that Jiwoo can’t stop staring at. It looks soft, she thinks, really soft, and she wonders if Jungeun spent the night cuddling with Haseul in it.

Jungeun feels queasy. Her brain keeps conjuring up images of Haseul and her that night. At least she barely remembers any of it, a small consolation at this point. What really sticks out in her mind is the morning after. This room is just bringing back that sinking feeling she felt when she woke up and realized how jealous she felt.

 _This was definitely one of my worst ideas,_ she thinks cringing.

Suddenly Haseul yelps in surprise, causing the two tense girls to flinch in response.

“I found it! I don’t know why I stuck it here,” Haseul says, grabbing Jungeun’s bracelet out of a gym bag that was in the corner of the room.

“That whole night is kind of a blur,” the girl chuckles to herself, realizing she probably shouldn’t have said that when she looks up at her two uncomfortable guests.

Jungeun grabs the bracelet rougher than intended and quickly thanks the girl.

Jiwoo, much quieter than usual, just waves at Haseul as they leave, suddenly feeling the emotions she had tried to bury come flooding back up. She knows Jungeun must be feeling similarly since the girl refuses to look at her as they walk out of Haseul’s building. Neither of them utters a word.

Jungeun curses herself for making things awkward again. She knows she shouldn’t have brought them there. Why couldn’t she have just texted Haseul to meet her somewhere with the bracelet? Why did she have to bring Jiwoo to her house? She doesn’t even know Haseul that much better than Jiwoo knows Haseul, and the two girls had only just met.

A part of her thought that maybe she and Haseul could end up as friends, but she figures that probably won’t happen after what just occurred. She suspects that if Haseul was less nice she would have just told Jungeun to fuck off, and maybe, Jungeun thinks, that’s what she deserved.

* * *

 

An hour later, they’re sitting in a café, Jungeun munching on a sandwich, Jiwoo scarfing down her third bagel. Somehow the smaller girl never gains weight even though her diet consists of 90% carbs. Jungeun has always been envious. When they were younger, she affectionately dubbed Jiwoo the “human vacuum cleaner,” which unfortunately never really caught on.

Jiwoo’s squishy cheeks are full and she looks like a hamster. Jungeun tries desperately to not find it so cute but she gives up.

Suddenly, a voice calls out Jiwoo’s name and the girl whips her head around, a classic Jiwoo-smile that could light up the world spreading on her face. The girl joyfully hops up from their table, making her way to the attractive girl who Jungeun recognized instantly.

She was in a few of Jiwoo’s classes and even worked with the girl on a project a couple of months back. Jungeun remembers coming home from class and seeing the two girls working, enjoying themselves way more than anyone should enjoy doing schoolwork.

“Heejin!” Jungeun watches the redhead happily shout.

She wraps the girl in a bear hug, pulling her slightly off the ground. Jungeun tries not to get jealous and reminds herself that this is just how Jiwoo is.

 _This is the way she used to be with you, you idiot,_ still punishing herself for making things awkward.

She stares at the two girls for a while. For a second, it feels like she’s here alone, that Jiwoo was never here with her. The way that her best friend is getting along with Heejin makes Jungeun feel like an outsider who’s just spying. She notices Jiwoo grabbing onto the girl’s hands when they speak, throwing her head back in laughter whenever Heejin makes a comment.

She doesn’t know how long she’s zoned out watching the scene unfold in front of her. Her self-awareness returns, however, when Jiwoo signals Heejin to where the brunette is sitting. The girl gives her a friendly wave which Jungeun almost doesn’t return.

When she looks at Jiwoo, the girl is staring back at her, an awkward smile on her face and palpable tension between the two of them.

Jungeun hates that they’ve gotten like this. The worst part is she doesn’t really know _why_ it’s happening. Doubts fill her mind about whether they’ll ever go back to normal again, and the possibility that they won’t scares the shit out of Jungeun. She suddenly feels like she might cry but she holds back when she spots Jiwoo walking back to their table.

“That was Heejin, you remember her, right?” Jiwoo asks, sitting down and taking one last sip of her drink.

“Yeah, I do.”

“She said she liked your hair, that it looks pretty,” Jiwoo says looking down at the table.

Jungeun remembers that the last time the girl saw her, her hair was still blonde.

“She was just saying that to be nice. Everyone knows I looked better with blonde hair.”

Jiwoo looks up then, brows furrowed. “Jungeun, that’s not true. You’re pretty with any hair color…” she glances back down and starts picking at her bagel leftovers, “Heejin said that cuz it’s true.”

Silence spreads over them for a while.

Jungeun feels her heart rate pick up and she struggles to think of how to reply to the girl.

“I’m sorry,” Jungeun blurts out.

Jiwoo rests her head on her hand, examining the other girl carefully.

“For what?”

Jungeun pauses, not sure what to say. What _is_ she sorry for? There’s too much, she thinks.

“For…for…I don’t know, Jiwoo. For dragging you to Haseul’s, I guess. I know it was weird.”

“It was a little awkward,” Jiwoo nods, “but I agreed, you know.”

“I shouldn’t have asked in the first place.”

“But you went with me to Sooyoung’s! It’s okay, Jungeun, I promise.”

Jiwoo pauses then, waiting until Jungeun meets her eyes to speak again.

“I’m sorry, too.”

“What?” Jungeun asks, unsure of why the other girl is apologizing.

“Like I said last night, I’m sorry that the party went the way it did. That we didn’t really talk—”

“Jiwoo, I already told you, it’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” Jiwoo loudly exclaims, calming herself down once she remembers where they are.

Jungeun’s heart hurts from the way it’s beating.

“I don’t like Sooyoung like that, Jungeun.”

“Okay?” Jungeun frames it as a question because she’s not sure why Jiwoo is telling her this.

“Do you…like Haseul?” Jiwoo asks, staring down at her index finger that’s circling her empty glass.

Jungeun’s puzzled by Jiwoo’s question. She assumed Jiwoo knew Haseul was a one-night stand and that that’s all she ever would be. The thought never occurred to her that the redhead might have thought she was interested in Haseul. She figures then that it’s only natural that her best friend would be curious about her dating life. That must be why she’s asking, she guesses.

“No, I don’t like her like that,” Jungeun firmly replies, “I mean she’s pretty, but it was just a one-night thing.”

Relief quickly materializes on Jiwoo’s face, her shoulders un-tensing a bit. Jungeun thinks she’s imagining it.

“Jiwoo, are we okay?” It comes out of her mouth before she has a chance to stop it.

Jiwoo’s face softens and she reaches forward to hold Jungeun’s hands tightly in her own.

“Of course we are, Jungie. At least, I think we will be…”

Jiwoo squeezes her hands and gives Jungeun the fondest smile she’s ever received from the other girl.

Jungeun clears her throat, ripping her hands away and checking the time on her phone.

“Shit, we have to get back, I have class in like thirty minutes.”

Jungeun stands up, grabbing her and Jiwoo’s trash and throwing it away. They pay separately for their food and begin the walk back to their dorm.

* * *

 

Jiwoo thinks she’s never met anyone as confusing as Jungeun. Don’t get her wrong, she loves that Jungeun perplexes her sometimes—it makes their friendship that much more exciting. She figures that if they were always on the same page things would be boring—no, she likes the uncertainty of their dynamic. The constant shifting.

What she doesn’t like is how hard she always has to fight for them. Jiwoo knows that if she didn’t solve the problems they face _herself,_ Jungeun would never do it. That was the issue these past few days, Jiwoo thinks. Jungeun won’t take any initiative. Ever since the party, things have been so awkward, and Jiwoo suspects why. She’s not dumb. It’s obvious that she and her best friend have some unspoken feelings for each other. How deep those run, Jiwoo’s not sure. She guesses it doesn’t matter anyway since Jungeun isn’t the type to act on her feelings. In fact, Jiwoo imagines getting the other girl to confess those feelings exist would be like pulling teeth.

But Jiwoo knows she isn’t perfect, either. The feelings she has for her best friend have rested within her for as long as she could remember, but she’s gone out of her way to pretend like they weren’t there. Not even in fear of how Jungeun would react, but because the idea of falling in love scares her more than she would admit. It’s why Jiwoo enjoyed having flings. They were easy—no feelings involved. Plus, she got to have fun with pretty girls who thought she was cute.

That’s what Sooyoung was, Jiwoo reflects. To be honest, she wasn’t even eying the girl that night, the taller girl approached _her_ first. In retrospect, she suspects she should have been more skeptical. Sooyoung was way out of her league. And Jiwoo didn’t miss the lingering looks Sooyoung kept shooting towards Jinsoul. She didn’t really care, either. When she saw Jungeun flirting with another girl, she reacted in a way she wasn’t familiar with. Normally she wouldn’t try to make anyone jealous, it wasn’t right, she felt. But she guesses she also just never had a reason to. Jiwoo knows she wasn’t thinking logically that night—not that she even could after being several alcoholic beverages deep and an unwilling audience member to Haseul and Jungeun’s very public displays of affection.

Jiwoo sighs, rolling over in her bed, earphones blaring out her sad playlist. It was rare that she whipped out the sad playlist—the girl unusually cheery most of the time. She gazed out the window, her eyes burning from the light.

The sun was starting to set and Jiwoo knew Jungeun would be back from her classes soon.

For the past few hours, Jiwoo was thinking. She was thinking about why things with Jungeun were so difficult, why things with everyone else seemed to be so easy, and why she’s tried to pretend for so long that they were _just_ friends.

She doesn’t think she’s any closer to an answer than she was before.

When she and Jungeun arrived back at their dorm earlier in the day, Jiwoo was determined to take her alone time to figure everything out. She felt like she owed that to the two of them. It was probably an irresponsible way to spend her time considering she skipped class this morning and had an unbelievable amount of work due. Jiwoo didn’t care about that, though. She shared a room with the girl, it wasn’t like she could just put their current situation on the backburner and save it for another day.

As Jiwoo is shuffling to the next song, she looks up to find a familiar pretty face smiling down at her.

The girl must have just come in, her backpack still hanging off her shoulder.

For some reason, Jiwoo thinks she looks even more striking than she did earlier. The bags under her eyes make her look adorably sleepy. Jiwoo always thought the brunette was cute when she was sleepy.

She takes her earphones out when she spots the girl’s lips moving, unable to make out what she’s saying.

“What?”

“I said, is this what you’ve been doing with your productive day?” Jungeun teases her, taking off her jacket and placing it on the coat rack.

Jiwoo just watches her moving around for a while before answering.

“I also got tacos a couple hours ago. Plus, I took a shower.” Jiwoo says proudly, lifting her arm and pretending to bow, but it was difficult lying down.

“Ooh, a shower? Very nice, I might just join you on that,” Jungeun says, gathering up her shower stuff.

“How was class?” Jiwoo asks, feeling like they’ve fallen back into their normal routine.

“It was terrible, I couldn’t pay attention to anything. Do you know how hard I try to dodge the subject when my mom calls and asks about what I’m learning? It’s becoming concerning.”

Jiwoo laughs and shakes her head at the girl.

“That’s cuz you refuse to focus, Jungie.”

Jungeun looks down at her and rolls her eyes, telling the girl that she’ll be right back and heading to the showers.

Jiwoo feels a little better already. Jungeun seems like she’s in a better mood than earlier today and it doesn’t feel awkward between them. Unfortunately, the redhead’s spent the past couple of hours listening to sad music in bed so she’s not exactly cheery. It’s an atypical role for Jiwoo to be taking on, the one whose spirits are down. She worries about what might come out of her mouth tonight. Cursing herself for even thinking that way, Jiwoo picks up her phone, distracting herself with cute animal pictures on Instagram.

The brunette comes back in the room a little later, hair half-dry and wearing a baggy t-shirt and sleep shorts. She plops down on her own bed, watching Jiwoo scroll through her phone, feeling antsy.

“Why don’t you ever turn on a light, weirdo…”

Jiwoo turns her head and scowls at the lamp.

“It’s too bright,” she replies simply.

Jungeun just stares at her, perfectly content to keep doing that all night. Man, if Jinsoul could see her now she would never hear the end of it.

At this point, it’s dark in the room, the only source of light being the streetlamps outside, which of course left a pretty glow right on Jiwoo’s face.

“You’re staring at me, Jungeun.”

“I am, sorry.”

“Why?”

“Why am I sorry?”

“No, why are you staring at me?” Jiwoo puts her phone down and turns on her side to face the other girl. Now both of them are staring at each other.

Jungeun considers Jiwoo’s question. Why was she staring at the girl? Before she could come up with an excuse her mouth started speaking for her.

“The light that’s shining through the window—I like the way it shines on you. It’s pretty.”

Jiwoo didn’t expect that. A small smile creeps on her lips. Jungeun returns it, laughing a little from nerves.

“You remember my first girlfriend back in high school, Sohyun?”

Jungeun squints her eyes wondering what this has to do with anything.

“Yeah…why?”

“Well, remember when she dumped me on picture day, and everyone saw and I had to take the yearbook picture with tears still streaming down my face?”

Jungeun feels rage and sadness rising in her throat at the memory.

“Of course I remember that, Jiwoo.” Jungeun sighs and then mumbles under her breath, “she was such a bitch for doing that to you.”

Jiwoo smiles at the girl’s face which was now scrunched up at the memory.

“You threatened to beat her up,” Jiwoo laughs, “and then you took me out for ice cream before we went back to your house where you played the piano for me.”

Jungeun blushes now, embarrassed at how bold her younger self was but a little proud, too.

“You said that I deserved better than what Sohyun put me through, that I deserved _someone_ better,” Jiwoo continues, intently focused on Jungeun’s face.

“That’s true,” Jungeun shrugs.

Jiwoo takes a couple of deep breaths before continuing her train of thought.

“You’ve always been really good to me…” Jiwoo says, voice slightly shaky.

Jungeun is quiet and still, so still. Her heart feels like it’s soaring, the blood in her body getting hotter by the second.

Jiwoo lifts herself up on one of her elbows then, a smirk growing on her face.

“We used to cuddle a lot back in high school, do you remember that?”

Jungeun lets out the tiniest nervous chuckle before nodding her head.

“It was nice.”

“Do you want to cuddle with me now then?” Jiwoo asks, a twinge of fear in her eyes, but Jungeun is too nervous to notice that. Her first instinct is to play nonchalant, like the other girl’s request isn’t leading her straight into cardiac arrest. She wants to tease the girl, wants to act like cuddling Jiwoo is the last thing she wants to do.

“No way,” Jungeun giggles out, her heart thumping against her ribcage.

“Please?” the redhead begs, a pout on her face that Jungeun thinks should be illegal.

Jungeun is silent but her eyes remain locked onto Jiwoo’s.

Jiwoo swallows and tries again, “Jungeun, come on, I miss you.”

Jungeun shakes her head again, watching the other girl lean back down before spreading her arms out wide, beckoning her. She’s not sure how much resolve she has left in her body. Truthfully, she’s amazed at how long she’s been able to turn Jiwoo down.

The girl just smiles at her undeterred, arms still open.

It’s when Jiwoo flares her nostrils at her, trying to elicit a laugh, that Jungeun feels herself crumbling.

She decides she can’t take it anymore as she scrambles over to Jiwoo’s bed and into the smaller girl’s arms. Jungeun’s head is tucked into Jiwoo’s neck, her left arm wrapped around her back and hand lying dead in the air. Jiwoo hums in victory and immediately tightens her grip on the girl, closing her eyes and sighing. Jungeun feels the anxiety inside of her build but she’s unable to will herself to move. She feels like a magnet that’s stuck onto another. The soft breaths on her hair, the sweet strawberry smell of the girl’s shampoo, the warmth of her body, the way her fuzzy sweater feels, the bare legs tangling with her own—Jungeun can’t help but get caught up in all of it and her chest feels full and empty all at the same time.

Jiwoo begins lazily stroking up and down Jungeun’s arm and the tension between them is thicker than Jungeun ever thought possible. She wonders if she’s imagining it—if Jiwoo can feel it, too. Yet neither of them utters a word, they just bask in it.

Jungeun feels content to just stay like this, but another part, a part deep inside of her, dreams of reaching out and flipping the girl on her back, kissing away the awkwardness that’s surrounded them since the party. She knows she’s not that bold, though.

After several minutes, Jungeun feels her breath hitch when Jiwoo begins leaving small kisses on the top of her head. It’s so quiet in the room and all she can hear are their shaky breaths and the loud thumping of her own heartbeat. Jungeun’s body somehow moves against her will, hands gripping tightly onto Jiwoo’s back, encouraging the other girl to keep going. Jiwoo smiles against her head, scooching slightly down so they’re face to face. Jungeun closes her eyes once she realizes what’s happening, too afraid to move a muscle. She wonders if this situation would be easier if she were drunk. Kissing Haseul was so easy, she thinks, but somehow, she knows that kissing Jiwoo isn’t something that could ever be easy for her. Right now, it felt like the hardest thing to do.

She doesn’t have much time to think about that though before she feels Jiwoo move a few inches closer. The girl starts leaving delicate pecks on her cheeks, her forehead, her eyelids, and then down to her nose. Jungeun doesn’t think she’s breathing anymore at all.

For a while, she doesn’t feel Jiwoo moving, and she can’t bear opening her eyes to see what the other girl’s expression is. The tension that she feels in her body is unlike anything she’s ever experienced. It’s like the whole time she’s known Jiwoo, she had fantasized about a moment like this and now that it’s happening, her body and mind aren’t communicating. She knows she wants to just lean forward and do the thing she guesses they both want, but she’s frozen. However, she’s positive that if someone tried to pull her away from Jiwoo, it would be physically impossible.

Amid Jungeun’s inner turmoil, Jiwoo just stares at the girl and her furrowed brows. She likes every side of Jungeun but the way she seems so scared in this moment, so scared of _her_ , well Jiwoo doesn’t like that at all. She wonders if she’s gone too far, if Jungeun wants to break away and run, so she decides to finally speak into the deafening silence. But what Jiwoo says isn’t what she thought would come out of her own mouth.

“You’re so beautiful.”

  
…

  
The air is hot but Jungeun feels chills run down every inch of her body. One second, it’s dark, her eyes squeezed airtight, and the next her eyes are wide open, staring into the prettiest brown orbs she’s ever seen.

Jiwoo leans her forehead on the other girl’s and timidly smiles, raising her right hand to Jungeun’s red cheek.

Suddenly, Jiwoo’s leaning in and Jungeun thinks no amount of dreaming about this moment could have prepared her for it actually happening.

It’s awkward at first, Jiwoo’s lips are just sort of stagnant on hers—mostly because Jungeun isn’t kissing the girl _back_. Embarrassed, Jiwoo starts to pull away, but something snaps in Jungeun once she feels her best friend’s lips not on hers.

Jiwoo gasps sharply when the brunette grabs onto her jaw and fiercely pushes her lips against hers. They both begin to move with each other, lips softly sliding together. It’s soft, so soft, and just the right amount of slow, too. Jungeun thinks she might _actually_ have a heart attack because of the smaller girl, but she’s fine with that. Jiwoo’s grip on Jungeun is so tight that she worries she’s hurting her, but when the brunette lets out a small moan, she figures that’s probably not the case.

Jungeun wonders why they’ve never done this before. They could have practiced kissing as teenagers like other girls do—at least then she could have blamed it on experimentation. Now though, that excuse is just way too ridiculous to fly. She also wonders if this means that Jiwoo has feelings for her, too. She only has a moment to think about it before Jiwoo starts to push her down on her back, and the conclusion she comes to is that the smaller girl must just be doing this because, well, that’s what Jiwoo _does._ She’s affectionate and enjoys having fun with people. Jungeun knows this. She doesn’t allow herself to think about that anymore, though. Not when she’s enjoying the feeling of Jiwoo’s mouth smacking against her own, their feverish breaths mingling together.

Jungeun thinks that Jiwoo’s fuzzy, baby-blue sweater, while totally adorable, is also totally in the way. It doesn’t feel good against her anymore, it just reminds her that there are too many layers between them. She feebly tugs at the hem of it, Jiwoo pausing her kisses and reaching down to slide it up and off her body. Jungeun doesn’t have much time to look before Jiwoo is back on her, sliding her tongue expertly into her mouth.

Jiwoo has one hand on Jungeun’s jaw, the other gripping tightly on her waist as she straddles her. Jungeun quickly lifts her head up so Jiwoo can plant kisses down her neck. The redhead sucks and licks on the skin there and makes Jungeun let out a noise she doesn’t think she’s ever made with anyone else. She hears Jiwoo panting and soon she feels the girl pulling up on her own shirt. They scramble to get it off, subsequently succeeding and leaving the two in just their bras.

After some desperate groping, Jungeun feels a hand slowly creeping its way down to her shorts. She doesn’t want that, though. She wants to push Jiwoo down and listen to the noises she can force out of the girl. So, she does that.

Jiwoo seems shocked but doesn’t protest when Jungeun rolls her over and begins lustfully placing kisses on her tummy. She reaches her hand down and flattens her brown hair back, smiling at how adorable the girl looks. She’s so focused on kissing around her belly button. Jungeun pushes herself back up, still not looking in Jiwoo’s eyes, instead nestling back in the crook of her neck as she slides her hand down to the waistband of Jiwoo’s shorts. Jiwoo turns her head and places a gentle kiss on the top of the brunette’s head again, encouraging her to keep going.

Everything’s moving so fast and Jungeun’s brain is struggling to keep up.

As her fingers slide down under Jiwoo’s underwear, she starts to feel too many emotions hitting her at once. She feels how wet the other girl is and sucks in air, suddenly starting to feel suffocated. Jiwoo notices that Jungeun isn’t moving and suddenly speaks out, voice rougher than usual.

“Jungeunnie, are you okay?”

And suddenly, Jungeun isn’t okay. She finally looks up into the other girl’s loving eyes and regrets it immediately. It’s like Jungeun was dreaming and now she’s awake. That’s how she feels. There’s an intense fear in her body that if she does this, if they do this, there will be consequences that Jungeun isn’t prepared for. Her mind is working on overload, racing through a million different panicky thoughts at once. She becomes acutely aware of the feeling of Jiwoo’s wetness on her fingers and looks down as she hurriedly pulls them out and quickly backs away from the girl to stand up.

Jiwoo leans up on her elbows with a look on her face that Jungeun didn’t know she could make, and the feeling in her chest turns from panic into guilt at how badly she’s screwed up. She’s convinced that Jiwoo can see through her at this moment, that she knows how much she feels for her. And the more time that goes by as Jungeun stands there, the more she convinces herself that the other girl, now pulling her knees to her chest, was just using her for fun. There’s no way, in her mind, it could have been anything else, and the embarrassment she feels that Jiwoo probably now knows about Jungeun’s feelings for her, overwhelms any logical thinking.

“Jungeun…” Jiwoo whispers, still holding herself and looking shaken at the other girl now roughly grabbing her shirt and slipping it back on.

“I…I-I have to go, I just remembered something,” Jungeun says, her mind trying to catch up with her body’s escape movements and come up with something, anything that will excuse her weird behavior.

“What? I—Jungeun, come on, please stay…I don’t understand.”

“No, I-I have to go, my professor…”

Jungeun rushes to grab a pair of shoes, not noticing the way the other girl’s eyes are getting glossy. She doesn’t know what she’s saying, and she really needs to get rid of this habit of speaking without thinking. But there’s no time for that.

She slips her shoes on and frantically heads for the door, hearing Jiwoo call out her name one more time before she slips out into the dorm hallway. She listens to the silence and feels like her ears are aching with how loud it is.

Minutes go by and Jungeun’s still walking briskly around campus, not really heading anywhere in particular. She curses herself at how stupid she is and feels tears building up when she thinks about the other girl. She knows Jinsoul is wrong. Her and Jiwoo’s friendship would never recover if they did this. The look on Jiwoo’s face as she left was proof. Jungeun felt like she was saving them by walking out, that maybe the friendship is still salvageable. If they had sex, everything would have been ruined. _That_ they would never bounce back from, she thinks.

She realizes soon that she’s close to Jinsoul’s dorm building and pulls out her phone to give the girl a call. She’s not surprised when she doesn’t see any texts or calls from Jiwoo.

“Hello?”

“Jinsoul, I…hey, uh, I’m near your dorm, um, something happened.”

“What? Are you okay? You sound freaked, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just…can I come stay with you tonight?”

“Um, yeah sure, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

A few minutes later and Jungeun is quietly letting herself into Jinsoul’s dorm room, not surprised when she sees the blonde staring at her with concern.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” The blonde asks, rushing up and grabbing the sides of Jungeun’s arms looking all over her body for signs that something’s off. Her eyes stop at the other girl’s neck which has a couple of telltale red marks, but she pushes aside any suspicions she might have and just guides the girl over to her bed, sitting them both down.

“Jinsoul, I’m fine really, I just think…maybe I fucked up a little bit,” Jungeun explains, rubbing the back of her neck and avoiding the other girl’s eyes.

“What happened, Jungeun?”

There’s a pause and the brunette doesn’t know why, but she feels tears spring to her eyes, and she knows she must come clean.

“Jiwoo and I…we almost—”

“Oh my fucking god you guys had sex?”

“No, we almost did and then I—”

“What did you do?”

Jungeun would have normally bitten back at Jinsoul interrupting her every two seconds, but right now she just doesn’t have the energy. She knows the other girl doesn’t mean to be annoying, that she’s just concerned, and so she continues.

“I was doing it, Jinsoul, I was finally doing it. We were. She was kissing me and touching me and I just, I don’t know, I realized that we were fucking everything up. I mean, I’m in _love_ with her, you know? I know I am. But she’s _Jiwoo._ She doesn’t love me, Jinsoul, not like that. There’s no way…”

Jinsoul lets the other girl rant, biting back the comments she’s dying to make.

“You know how Jiwoo is, she sees a cute girl, hooks up with her and then pretends like it didn’t even happen! I couldn’t let her do that to me, to us. The worst part is she knows now, she _has to_ know. I couldn’t help it, Jinsoul, it was probably so fucking obvious how in love with her I am, so I had to leave. I stopped and just…left.”

Jungeun begins to silently cry, turning her body away from the other girl, embarrassment flooding over her. Jinsoul composes herself before speaking.

“Jungeun, do you hear yourself?”

“What?”

“The things you’re saying about Jiwoo, the things you’re _assuming_ —did you even ask her how she felt before just running away?”

Jungeun pauses, growing frustrated at Jinsoul for not being on her side.

“Jinsoul, I didn’t get a _chance_ to ask her, besides it wouldn’t have mattered. I’m not stupid and I know Jiwoo better than anybody, okay?”

“You’re just scared and that’s why you ran away,” Jinsoul says harshly, not even trying to sugarcoat her words.

Jungeun doesn’t know what to say. Anything she comes up with she knows will get her kicked out of the blonde’s dorm, so she stays silent.

“You know that Jiwoo wouldn’t just sleep with you for the fun of it, Jungeun. I mean _come on,_ is that really the only thing you can come up with? I know you said you’re afraid of your guys’ friendship changing but…it’s not really the healthiest friendship, anyway, is it? I mean, you just said it yourself, you’re in LOVE with her, dumbass.”

“I didn’t say that, Jinsoul.”

“You did, babe. You did. And I tried to tell you this sooner, but the other night at the party, when you were all over Haseul—”

“And Jiwoo was all over Sooyoung—”

“Right, well,” Jinsoul sighs, “Jiwoo was jealous, Jungeun. I could tell. She was so fucking jealous and wouldn’t stop watching you tongue down Haseul the whole night. Sooyoung even told me that Jiwoo refused to sleep with her, never shutting her giant mouth up about _you.”_

Jungeun looks at her then and then back down, wondering why Jinsoul is even telling her this. She begins to regret impulsively deciding that Jinsoul’s dorm was the best place to escape to.

“Yes, okay, Jiwoo is really fucking emotionally stupid but to be honest, so are you, just in a different way. I mean whether you’re aware of it or not you’re the biggest hopeless romantic I know. And in the two and a half years I’ve known you, you’ve been obsessed with Jiwoo—”

“Jinsoul—”

“No, Jungeun, let me finish. You’ve been obsessed with Jiwoo but always find reasons why it won’t work because you’re scared. You tried to place the blame on Jiwoo earlier, do you know that? You said that she was having sex with you for fun and that you couldn’t believe she would do that to you guys, but you’re being a selfish cow. You haven’t even spoken to her about it! You didn’t even give her a chance! And now you’re using the idea of what she _might_ be feeling as an excuse for you to not be as mad at _yourself._ You’re placing the blame on her and not even addressing the fact that _you’re_ in love with her, _you_ were going to have sex with her, and then _you_ ran away.”

Jungeun is shocked into silence, staring down at the pillow that she must have grabbed onto at some point.

“You’re just scared. But I’m telling you, you guys need to talk. There’s way too much unspoken shit there.”

It’s quiet for a bit and Jinsoul gets up, reaches into her mini-fridge, pulls out a beer and throws it to Jungeun. The girl catches it and pops the cap, immediately taking a long gulp.

“I don’t really have anything to say, Jinsoul.”

“You don’t have to say anything, not to me, at least.”

Jungeun sighs and downs some more of her beer, watching as Jinsoul walks over to her nightstand and grabs her phone.

“Please just—can you tell me something? Anything to distract me right now,” Jungeun asks.

“Hmm, well,” Jinsoul checks her messages and then looks back up at the smaller girl, “Sooyoung and I are giving things a go.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, uh, actually, I spoke with her earlier today and…I’m staying over there tonight.”

“Jinsoul, she tried using Jiwoo to make you jealous…”

“Only because she thought I was still hooking up with Yujin!” Jinsoul protests, running her hand through her hair and sighing, “Look, she said she was sorry and told me she likes me. I don’t care if you don’t like her, I’m going over there.”

Jungeun rolls her eyes and flops down on Jinsoul’s bed.

“Of course you are.”

Jinsoul grabs the door handle and turns around, a stubborn look on her face.

“You know, sometimes it’s nice to have somebody want you. I could stay mad at her, you’d probably like it if I did that, right? Then we could both wallow in our misery. But I don’t want to do that. I’m tired of being alone all the time, Jungeun. Besides, nothing good ever comes from running away.”

Jungeun sits up and just stares at Jinsoul, irritated at the girl’s dig at her but unable to find any words to protest.

“I really am fine with you staying here tonight,” Jinsoul hesitates, “I know you don’t want me to say this, but you should at least text her.”

Jungeun scowls at the blonde and crosses her arms, still silently stewing.

“See you tomorrow, kiddo.”

Once Jinsoul is gone, Jungeun leans back down and stares at the ceiling. She lets all the feelings of the past few days finally hit her and it’s rough. She sobs like she hasn’t cried in years, which certainly isn’t true, because she was known by a close few to be a bit of an undercover baby. She has no idea what she’s going to do, but she figures she should probably send a text to Jiwoo, at least letting her know she was okay. Their campus had a history of creepy dudes trying to lure girls into their cars at night and Jiwoo would always blow up her phone if the brunette didn’t get back to their room when she said she was going to.

She opens her messages, looking at the last text that was sent: a picture Jiwoo sent her this morning of a cartoon bear that was a holding a balloon that said, “I’m sorry.”

The sigh she lets out when she realizes how hard it is to get her thumbs to move is the only noise she hears, and she’s really getting tired of all the silence tonight.

Somehow, she finds it in herself to send a single message to the girl:

 

**_[Jungeun] Staying at Jinsoul’s tonight._ **

 

She almost puts a ‘xo’ at the end but scolds herself, wondering what the hell her mind is even doing anymore.

She stares down at the screen, noticing the way her message is read instantly but no typing bubble appears.

 _Maybe I just need to sleep it off,_ she thinks, having no idea just how hard it will be to get any sleep at all.

* * *

 

Jungeun wakes up in Jinsoul’s bed to the piercing wail of her alarm. Her head hurts from crying all night and her mouth is dry.

Rubbing her itchy eyes, she lifts herself up, looking at herself in the mirror before sighing deeply.

She thinks she got a couple of hours of sleep at most, her brain terrorizing her too much for her to ever fully relax. Today is supposed to be a full day of classes. Her Latin class was up first at 9:30, Foreign Affairs after that. Then she would finish the afternoon with her Sociology class that she had truthfully stopped putting effort into weeks ago.

Every single cell in her body doesn’t want to leave the room. All Jungeun wants to do is mope around and watch sad movies on Netflix. She’s not sure when Jinsoul’s coming back since the girl never gave her even an indication.

Her eyes catch the time once more: 8:44 am.

By her calculations, she has just enough time to get dressed and do her makeup and maybe pick up a vending machine breakfast before she needs to be in class.

She doesn’t move.

Instead, Jungeun lies back down on the squishy bed, rolling around and stretching for a few minutes.

Eventually, she heads into the bathroom and searches through Jinsoul’s cabinet for a toothbrush, knowing the blonde always kept spares for when she let girls stay over. She discovers at least twenty, all still wrapped and in a variety of colors and shapes. Jungeun knows her best friend well enough to know it’s so any girl she brings back could find one she liked. The brunette doesn’t really get that, though—after all, toothbrushes were purely utilitarian and _not_ accessories. She begins to recant her thought when she spots a peach toothbrush.

 _Jiwoo’s favorite color,_ she laments.

She tears the wrapping off and squeezes out some minty-fresh toothpaste.

Once her face is washed and teeth are clean, Jungeun figures she should at least try to be productive if she was going to skip Latin.

Sitting at Jinsoul’s wobbly desk, she reads a few pages in her textbook, scribbles down a few answers in her accompanying workbook, and then blows air out of her nostrils. She can’t focus.

Everything she’s doing simply isn’t distracting her from how shitty she feels. How shitty what happened last night was. She feels a lump in her throat, knowing the tears are begging to spill out and she slams her fist down on the desk. That probably wasn’t the best idea because then she hears a harsh cracking noise. Jungeun tentatively gets up and carefully examines the desk that appears to be still standing strong. Sticking out her index finger, she pushes gently on the top, watching as it comically topples over on the right side, the legs giving out.

Everything that was stacked on Jinsoul’s desk slides off, theatrically slamming into the floor and serving as the metaphorical cherry on top of Jungeun’s shitty morning.

Jungeun just stands there for a second soaking in what she’s done. Then she collapses pathetically on the floor.

She guesses any one of Jinsoul’s neighbors would be able to hear her over-the-top wailing, but she doesn’t care.

After a half hour of blubbering like a fool, Jungeun finally brushes herself off. She grabs a tissue and loudly blows her nose. She’s already made up her mind that she’s skipping _all_ her classes for the day, not just Latin. Thank god she doesn’t live with her parents anymore. She figures she would have been grounded for months with the way she’s been shirking her academics.

Her stomach growls and she reluctantly grabs one of Jinsoul’s pop tarts, figuring the girl won’t miss it. Scarfing it down, she almost gags. She forgot how gross pop tarts are when they aren’t heated up.

After moping around her ex-girlfriend’s room and wondering what Jiwoo’s up to for a couple more hours, Jungeun decides she probably needs to go grab some stuff from their room. She figures another night at Jinsoul’s is inevitable—she still couldn’t face Jiwoo yet. Still wearing the sleep clothes she put on after her shower yesterday, she gazes forlornly down at her baggy shirt. Panic shoots through her when she remembers the way Jiwoo pulled it off her body.

_No, no, no, no…_

Jungeun doesn’t want to think about that anymore. She pulls out her phone and sends out a quick text, eagerly awaiting a response.

 

**_[Jungeun] Hey, Hyunjin. Can you tell me if you’ve seen Jiwoo this morning? I’m just wondering if she’s left our room or not. Thanks!_ **

 

It’s 12:07. Jiwoo was usually up and about way before noon, so Jungeun assumes the girl’s gone—their room safe for personal belonging pickup. But she needs to double-check.

After a couple of minutes, her phone buzzes.

 

 **_[Hyunjin from across the hall] Morning, Jungeun. I saw her leave a couple hours ago… I can go knock to double-check?_ **  
**_[Jungeun] Please, if you don’t mind. Things are kind of weird right now and I can’t see her._ **  
**_[Hyunjin from across the hall] I think you’re good—no answer._ **  
**_[Jungeun] Thank you! I really appreciate it!_ **

 

Her neighbor doesn’t reply after that and Jungeun isn’t surprised. The girl is kind of standoffish and quiet. She’s also a little weird. Occasionally, Jiwoo and Jungeun would hear animal noises coming from her room, but as far as they knew, Hyunjin didn’t have a roommate nor pets.

Once Jungeun arrives back at her place of residence, she thanks the gods above that their door is janky and doesn’t lock. She forgot to grab her wallet or keys when making her cowardly escape last night.

Opening the door, Jungeun feels a weight suddenly press down on her chest. On one hand, she feels a sense of relief from being back in her own personal space, but then she glances at Jiwoo’s side of the room and feels the pop tart she ate earlier daring to come back up.

Her eyes linger on Jiwoo’s unmade bed, images of the two tangled up together on it less than 24 hours ago punching her in the face.

Jiwoo’s backpack with all her books is still hanging on the door handle. Jungeun finds it odd because she knows the girl would’ve brought that with her if she went to class. Briefly wondering where Jiwoo was spending her day, Jungeun makes her way back to her side of the room.

She walks back and forth from their shared closet packing an overnight bag. Her hands stop moving when she spots the redhead’s hot-pink roller skates in the corner of the closet. The sight warms her heart and makes her chin quiver. She solemnly glances up at the clothes—Jiwoo’s many flannels, cardigans, and sundresses staring her down. She reaches her hand out to graze one of the plaid flannels, picturing the way it hangs off the smaller girl’s petite frame.

Sucking in sharply, Jungeun shakes her head and feels a tear running down her cheek. She quickly swipes it away and walks back over to the bag she’s been packing. Rummaging through it, Jungeun’s shocked to discover there’s over a week of clothing in it.

Swallowing the knot in her throat, she fights internally with herself, wondering what she was doing. Surely, she wasn’t going to avoid her best friend for over a week. Jiwoo and Jungeun have never gone that long without seeing each other since they’ve been friends. Jungeun feels her eyes getting glossy again at the thought. All of this was her own fault, she knows. And now they would be apart for god knows how long all because Jungeun was too scared to face her. She doesn’t fully know why, either. It’s not like Jiwoo would ever hurt a fly. Jungeun knows the girl could if she wanted to, though. Despite barely having an inch on the girl, the redhead was lowkey stronger than her. Jungeun thinks that if Jiwoo had any ill-will towards anyone, that person could easily be wrecked.

 _Wait,_ Jungeun realizes, _Jiwoo has ill-will towards me._

The tears flow then, Jungeun sniffling and wiping at her nose. Suddenly a tiny voice of reason pipes up within her.

_Idiot. Jiwoo would never beat you up. She’s your best friend._

She shakes her head, effectively containing her tears, and starts to remove some of the clothes from the bag. There’s no way she’s avoiding the girl for any longer than a couple of days max. It’s not like Jinsoul would ever let her stay with her for that long, anyway.

Her heartbeat picks up when she remembers that the blonde likely won’t let her stay tonight, either, once she sees her desk in pieces on the floor.

The memory almost causes her to start sobbing again and she just wants someone to shake her dumb, emotional ass and tell her to get her shit together.

Jungeun zips the bag up, just about ready to sneak out again.

It’s then that she notices something she’s not sure how she missed earlier. And once she fully processes what she’s looking at, she understands why she can’t get her shit together.

A post-it note. It’s placed meticulously on her lamp so that if Jungeun reached to turn it on, she couldn’t miss it. She grazes her fingers delicately across the paper, pulling it off and cradling it in her hands. She can’t believe what’s written on it. The words make the guilt inside of her triple, the pain hit her full-force, and the love she has for a girl named Kim Jiwoo multiply immeasurably.

  
_“Jungeunnie,_  
_I’m sorry._  
_I’ll always be here._  
_-Jiwooming”_

  
It’s nothing special, but to Jungeun it’s everything. She knows how difficult it must have been for Jiwoo to write these words. In fact, there’s physical proof of that when Jungeun peeks over to the trash can and sees crumpled up yellow post-it notes galore. As she uncrumples every single one, Jungeun thinks it’s like gaining an inside look into her best friend’s mysterious mind.

Most of them Jungeun can’t actually read—Jiwoo had scribbled harshly through the rejected words, but on every single one she makes out the word ‘sorry.’ The redhead had nothing to be sorry for. It feels like someone’s stabbing the brunette repeatedly. It’s a sharp, throbbing pain and once again, tears begin to pour out of her tired eyes.

She cries for a few minutes, just staring at the notes and not even bothering to crumple them back up and cover her tracks. She pulls the lamp note out of her pocket, softly smiling down at it some more until a buzzing noise pulls her out of her reflective bubble.

She walks over to her bed and checks her texts.

 

 **_[Jingolas] so u just fuck my shit up then leave?_ **  
**_[Jingolas] u better be smooching an annoying redhead rn otherwise ur ass is done_ **  
**_[Jingolas] by annoying redhead I mean jiwoo btw_ **

 

Jungeun rolls her damp eyes at Jinsoul thinking she needs to clarify herself. Where would she find another annoying redhead who could even begin to rival Kim Jiwoo? It’s not possible.

As much as Jungeun’s body aches to stay, she remembers that she only came back for her stuff. When she goes to leave, she turns and takes one last look at their shared room, hoping that the next time she’s here everything will be back to normal.

* * *

 

Later that night, Jungeun and Jinsoul are in bed watching a movie on the blonde’s laptop.

They used to do this frequently when they were together. Jungeun sort of hated watching movies with the older girl when they were dating because about halfway through, grabby hands wouldn’t leave her alone. Jinsoul hated watching movies with the younger girl because, like clockwork, she would always pass out about an hour in, leaving the blonde bored and horny.

Now though, the two girls are actually enjoying themselves. A slightly sore Jinsoul spent the night and morning getting roughed up by a tall, slender dancer and Jungeun is too depressed to fall asleep. Win/win.

When Jungeun returned to the blonde’s dorm earlier, she was shocked at how cool the girl was being about her broken desk. That is until Jinsoul confessed it had been broken for a while and none of the stuff that was sitting on it really mattered, anyway. Jungeun was also shocked that Jinsoul didn’t ask how returning to her room went. She expected the blonde to accost her with questions about Jiwoo, but she didn’t. Not even once.

Instead, Jinsoul shared stories about her day to the younger girl. The two laughed at Jinsoul’s professor obliviously inserting a BDSM meme into one of his slideshows. Then Jungeun was enraptured at Jinsoul’s in-depth explanation of Myers-Briggs personality types—the younger girl discovering after a lengthy internet quiz she’s an ENFJ—though Jungeun is slightly skeptical because Jinsoul answered some of the questions on her behalf. She was irritated at the younger girl for not taking the quiz seriously.

After sharing a lovely Chinese takeout dinner together, both girls were content enough to take it easy and relax.

Now they’re lying in bed, a healthy amount of space between them, although both girls know if they cuddled there wouldn’t be an ounce of romantic tension whatsoever.

The laptop is between them and Jungeun’s only had to ask Jinsoul to adjust the screen a few times before the blonde finally listened to her.

The movie is some stupid B-horror flick that is so palatable that Jinsoul hasn’t asked what’s going on more than once. Plus, there have been multiple boob shots which the blonde can appreciate. Jungeun not so much, though, because unlike the blonde she _hasn’t_ been ‘roughed up’ recently. The whole ordeal with Jiwoo the night before left her with blue balls. She of course was able to ignore that considering she also had a blue _heart._ The emotional cocktail surrounding the whole thing strongly trumped her unsatisfied urges.

It’s when the movie features a sex scene in which one of the characters freaks out and runs away that Jinsoul slams the spacebar, pausing the movie that just went from fun distraction to painful reminder real quick.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“It’s fine, Jinsoul, you can press play.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Jungeun sighs out, still staring at the paused screen as the blonde’s eyes pierce into her cheek.

Jinsoul’s hand returns to the spacebar but doesn’t press down.

“It’s just, we haven’t spoken about it today. I mean, I haven’t mentioned it once.”

“I’m very aware and grateful of that fact.”

“But you definitely got some of your stuff…so, like—”

“She wasn’t there when I went, I made sure of that.”

“Oh,” Jinsoul scrunches her face and looks down, “that’s a little excessive, don’t you think?”

Jungeun looks at the blonde then, scowling.

“I’m not ready to talk to her, Jinsoul.”

“Why not?”

“Because I—” Jungeun stammers, “I—I’m…”

Jinsoul regards the younger girl with pity in her eyes and rubs her arm affectionately.

“She loves you. You know she does, Jungeun.”

“Not the way I love her,” the brunette shoots back, fingers twiddling in her lap.

“You don’t know that.”

Jungeun sighs and slams her fingers down on the spacebar, the room filling back up with badly-recorded audio. She keeps her eyes trained on the screen, but she knows she’s not invested in the movie anymore.

Jinsoul keeps looking at the younger girl, whispering out one last time before dropping the subject.

“You don’t know that.”

* * *

 

When Jungeun wakes up, Jinsoul’s already up and dressed, breakfast that she picked up for the two of them sitting on the table.

The blonde’s chatting on the phone to what Jungeun suspects is one of her parents, so she quietly tiptoes to the bathroom, getting all her morning business out of the way.

A little later, when Jungeun is poking at a leftover bit of egg, Jinsoul informs her that she’s leaving for class, encouraging the younger girl to do the same.

Jungeun doesn’t listen, though. She’s really feeling her and Jiwoo’s distance today and she’s not sure if she’s ever missed the girl so much. Feeling totally worn out and depressed, Jungeun guesses one more day of recovery won’t hurt.

Reaching into her wallet, Jungeun pulls out Jiwoo’s post-it note and stares at it wistfully for what feels like an eternity. Her fingers trace the letters and her eyes get so adjusted to the note that the word ‘sorry’ doesn’t even look like a word anymore. She thinks she’ll get it laminated. That way, she can keep it forever and look at it wherever she is. It will be like picking at an itchy wound. Jungeun smiles a little at how dark and twisted the whole thing is.

Every ten minutes Jungeun checks her phone, hoping her best friend takes the jump for them and reaches out first. She doesn’t.

Jungeun almost gets close, though. She opens her and Jiwoo’s text conversation and types the letter ‘I’ before she erases it. Truthfully, the brunette didn’t know what she would even start with. She figures if she did type something out to the girl, she wouldn’t have the guts to press send, anyway.

After hours of watching Youtube and Netflix, Jungeun hears the door open and meets eyes with a disappointed-looking blonde in a Balenciaga cap. The younger girl knows it can’t be hers as it wasn’t a big secret that Jinsoul wasn’t exactly rolling in dough.

“Nice hat.”

“I was wearing it earlier, you truant.”

“Oh? I didn’t notice.”

Jinsoul sets her stuff down in her room and plops herself down on the edge of the bed, her back facing Jungeun.

“Sooyoung’s coming over soon.”

“Cool.”

“You don’t care?”

“Nah, it’s fine, as long as she keeps Jiwoo’s name out of her mouth.”

Jungeun can’t see it but Jinsoul’s dramatically rolling her eyes. She’s so irritated with the younger girl but the pity she feels outweighs her frustration. She hopes the longer Jungeun spends with her the more the girl realizes she can’t keep running from Jiwoo. She really hopes. But the fact that the girl hasn’t been attending class and hasn’t showered since she’s been staying over is creating doubt in Jinsoul’s mind.

“Did you want me to leave for a little while? For, you know, reasons?”

“We’re just hanging out, no hanky panky! So, don’t worry you can stay and rot some more.”

Jungeun throws a pillow at the blonde, receiving a smug laugh in return.

“I might smell,” the younger girl admits and Jinsoul scrunches her nose up.

“Do you want me to lead you to the bathroom, m’lady?”

“No. I’ll go shower…soon…just gotta…get up.”

It’s quiet for a little as Jungeun performs some stretches, her body sore from lying down too long. The blonde at the edge of the bed is tapping away on her phone and the brunette’s curiosity gets the best of her. She crawls up the length of the bed, stopping right behind her best friend’s back and kneeling.

Jungeun glances down at the text Jinsoul’s typing out to Sooyoung, her eyes bulging out of her head once she reads what it says.

 

 **_[My future wife] I’m just hopping in the shower and then I’ll swing over <3_ **  
**_[Jinsoul] the shower huh? without me? ;)_ **

 

“Dude, how do you even get girls when you act like that?”

Jinsoul makes a sound of protest and looks at the younger girl with contempt.

“Dude, you literally dated me for nine months.”

“I don’t remember you saying stuff like that,” Jungeun insists.

“Because you were blinded by your love for me, duh.”

“Oh please,” the younger girl scoffs out.

At that, Jungeun gets up, deciding she too could benefit from washing the past couple of days away.

Jinsoul’s lucky in that she has her own private bathroom attached to her dorm room. Jungeun’s envious until she remembers how much more the blonde spends each year on the luxury.

Regardless, this is the first shower the girl’s had where she’s completely alone in the room in a long time. She’ll be damned if she doesn’t try to savor it even a little bit.

Her mind bounces around uncontrollably as she works shampoo through her long brown locks.

_Jiwoo, school, Jinsoul, Sooyoung, the party, Jiwoo, her parents, that overdue essay, Jiwoo—_

Jungeun sighs as she throws her head back under the boiling hot water. Trying to get the girl out of her head wasn’t easy. It was still total radio silence from her best friend and Jungeun wonders what the girl is up to—how her day was, if she had work.

Making her way down her body, Jungeun almost drops the soap when her mind suddenly bitch-slaps her with images of Jiwoo underneath her, lips swollen, clad only in her bra and shorts.

 _Not now,_ Jungeun pleads with her brain.

That night was awful, and she was desperately trying to forget it. But before everything went to shit, the brunette got a taste of pleasure she hadn’t quite felt before. Her body knew it and deep down in the part of her mind that wasn’t trying to block that night out, she knew it too. Something inside of her wanted to remind her of that fact, and wow, maybe her mind and body did sort of communicate after all.

She looks down at the hand that’s almost crushing the soap, remembering the way that same hand crept into Jiwoo’s shorts. She closes her eyes, remembering the way the girl’s lips and tongue felt on her neck and she nearly moans when she remembers how wet she was on her fingers.

“Shit.” Jungeun whispers. She knows she’s already been in the shower for almost twenty minutes and doesn’t have much time before Jinsoul gets concerned.

 _I’ll have to be fast,_ she tells herself, desperately needing to relieve some tension.

She’s got one hand steadying herself on the wall, the other in between her legs rubbing vigorously.

Her body’s getting closer and closer as she replays that night with Jiwoo. Well, up until the point she freaked out.

She pictures the curve of the other girl’s waist, her lacy bra hugging her breasts, her hands running over Jungeun’s body. She gasps, swearing she can _feel_ Jiwoo’s body pressed hotly against her own. She doesn’t think she can rub much faster but knows it doesn’t matter because she’s about to come. Her mouth opens when she recalls how soaked her fingers were as soon as they made contact with Jiwoo’s—

“Jungeun?” Jinsoul calls, knocking on the door.

The girl feels herself immediately deflating and she instinctively tears her hand away from herself.

_Fuck._

She was so close. Her heart is still banging in her chest and she struggles to catch her breath. The water’s loudly crashing on the tile and Jungeun feels embarrassed when she realizes where she is.

“Are you okay?” Jinsoul asks, voice sounding more worried at the lack of a response from the younger girl.

Jungeun sighs before speaking.

“I’m fine, Jinsoul.”

“Are you crying in there?”

“I…I—yeah I was crying. I’ll be out in a sec, I promise.”

“Okay,” Jinsoul says, sadness infused in her tone, “I’m sorry. Sooyoung’s about to be here, by the way.”

“Alright.”

Jungeun finishes washing the lower half of her body and tries to curb her frustration. She doesn’t think Jinsoul suspects anything. In fact, the blonde really did sound genuinely sad when she thought Jungeun was crying. She wonders how Jinsoul would react if she knew what she was really doing.

Toweling herself off, Jungeun lets out a dry laugh, remembering when Jinsoul used to rip orgasms out of her—not scare them away. But look at where they are now.

After slipping on a pair of grey slacks and a tight, black long-sleeve shirt, Jungeun strolls back into Jinsoul’s room. She spots Jinsoul and Sooyoung sitting on the floor across from each other and Jungeun instantly knows what’s happening.

“Hey, loser,” Jinsoul smiles at her, “are you feeling better?”

 _Definitely not,_ Jungeun thinks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replies instead, “hey, Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung pauses whatever she’s fiddling with in her lap and looks up, letting out a small _hey._

Jungeun lounges on Jinsoul’s bed and pulls out her phone to check if Jiwoo’s reached out.

There’s nothing.

The girls down below are intently focused on rolling a blunt and the smell evokes weird memories in Jungeun. The first time she smoked weed was with Jinsoul. They were still a couple back then and she hasn’t even thought about smoking since they broke up. She didn’t like it. Sure, it made things fun for a little—and it made the dining hall food taste like heaven—but it also made Jungeun too paranoid and panicky. She had trouble keeping her mind from racing in circles when she was high—Jinsoul not really understanding that fact at first. The blonde thought the girl was just exaggerating her anxiety until she locked herself in the bathroom and called for an ambulance one night when they were totally baked. After that, Jungeun didn’t really touch the stuff.

She watches the two girls lighting the blunt out of the corner of her eye. Sooyoung takes the first hit since she rolled it, inhaling deeply and brightly smiling at the girl across from her as she exhales. Jinsoul flicks the taller girl playfully on the knee before taking a hit herself.

Jungeun tries to tune the giggling out and scrolls mindlessly through Instagram. Her thumb stops when she spots a familiar face.

_Oh my god, oh my god._

She looks at the time and sees that her best friend posted the picture an hour ago. A scowl appears on her face, however, when she focuses on the content of the picture.

The girl looks like her happy, smiley self. Her hair is curled—Jungeun loved when she curled her hair—and she’s even got a face full of makeup. Jungeun peeps the slightly uneven winged eyeliner and fights back a smile. The girl is also throwing up a peace sign. It’s who she’s with that makes Jungeun feel a little jealous. On Jiwoo’s side, Heejin is standing proudly, a similar smile situated on her face and fingers also spread in a v-formation.

It takes a lot of strength on Jungeun’s part not to get upset at the picture. A part of her is relieved that Jiwoo doesn’t seem to be suffering. And judging by the background, the picture was taken in class, so at least the girl is still attending.

But Jiwoo looks _really happy_. And that fact hurt Jungeun’s heart because she can’t say the same about herself. It also feels like confirmation that her best friend doesn’t feel for her the way she does. If she did, she would be as distraught as her, right?

She stares and stares at the picture, not hearing the blonde girl below calling her name for a way longer time than what’s considered normal.

“What?” She asks, putting her phone down and glancing at the two smiling faces down below. She notices how red their eyes are and she must have been staring at Jiwoo for a long-ass time because they are higher than kites.

“Sooyoung wants to know if you wanna hit this.”

Jungeun replies with a _no_ without even thinking about it.

The two girls then turn back to each other, taking turns pinching each other’s arms and shrieking before cracking up.

Jungeun watches them for a little and feels like she might cry again so she just lets her body take the wheel.

All of a sudden, she’s sitting on the floor with the couple. They’re all in a triangle-like shape, knees touching, and it’s quiet as they examine the younger girl.

“So… you _do_ wanna hit it?” Sooyoung asks. “You better do it soon cuz this baby’s almost gone.”

Jungeun just stares at her and then down at the girl’s extended arm, the smelly thingamajig in her hand. Her eyes move to Jinsoul’s wide ones before she grabs the object and puts it up to her mouth.

She inhales deeply, and she didn’t miss that burning in her throat, that’s for sure. But right now, she doesn’t care, she just wants to feel different, better.

“Yo, Jungeun never smokes, how did you even get her to do that?”

“I handed the blunt to her.”

Jungeun exhales slowly and tries her hardest not to hack a lung.

“Well if she freaks out and starts spreading lies about me don’t listen to her. She’s totally weird when she’s high.”

“I’m literally right here,” Jungeun says, seemingly being ignored.

“Okay, Jinsoul,” Sooyoung giggles out.

Jungeun takes another hit, wondering why nothing’s happening until suddenly it slams into her like a brick.

“Fuuuuuuuuck.”

Jinsoul reaches her hand out and rubs the girl’s knee. Sooyoung just analyzes her nails, unaware.

“Jungeun, you cool?”

The blonde looks concerned, but she also looks super hilarious for some reason, and Jungeun busts out laughing, smacking her best friend’s arm.

That catches Sooyoung’s attention and the way the blonde looks over at her, worry etched on her face makes laughter erupt from her, as well.

Soon they’re all laughing hysterically, limbs occasionally reaching up to push on other limbs. It’s kind of nice, Jungeun thinks, she can’t remember the last time she’s felt this free.

After a while, Jungeun is zoned out staring at Jinsoul’s lava lamp collection in the corner. She’s not paying attention to the other two girls—the last time she did, she heard an icky, not-so-PG joke about their burgeoning sex life.

“You want a fish?” Sooyoung asks, cocking her head.

“Hell yeah! My parents never let us have pets growing up. Something about a ‘lack of responsibility’ or whatever…” Jinsoul waves her hand dismissively at the memory.

“Well…what kind of fish would you want if you could get one right now?”

Jungeun turns her attention back to the girls, figuring it’s probably safe.

“Easy. There are these totally badass warrior fish,” Jinsoul begins, eyes wide, “Sooyoung, they’re so, so pretty. And they’ll beat any bitch’s ass that messes with them! It’s so cool.”

“That’s awesome,” Sooyoung says casually, “uh…so what are they called?”

“Blue betta fish!”

“Blue betta fish,” Sooyoung repeats, clearly jotting the name down in her mind so she won’t forget. Jungeun can guess why, but of course, Jinsoul’s too high and oblivious to notice.

“I want fish sticks,” Jungeun pipes up then, the other girls finally remembering her existence and turning to look at her.

“I want pizza.”

“I also want pizza,” Sooyoung apologetically states, “I guess it’s two against one.”

Jungeun makes a sour face at the girl but doesn’t get hung up on the loss. She could kill a pizza, too.

“Well, who’s ordering?”

Jungeun and Sooyoung quickly place their index fingers to their noses, Jinsoul still resting her head in her hands, mouth slightly agape.

“No way man, I sound like I’m stoned!”

“Jinsoul, you always sound like you’re stoned,” Jungeun retorts.

“It’s kinda true,” Sooyoung confirms, “but it’s super cute, so don’t worry.”

Jinsoul gives in and places the order. It goes pretty well, all things considered. Well, if you minus the mini-fight they all have about whether pineapple is a valid topping _and_ the moment Jinsoul has to look up her dorm number before giving the pizza guy her address.

Half an hour later they’re inhaling a different, much more cheesy substance. And of course, because they couldn’t settle on toppings, there are three large pizzas spread on the floor in front of them.

“I’ll pay you back, babe.”

Sooyoung just waves her hand dismissively, cheeks puffed up, a glob of sauce smeared on her chin.

Jinsoul leans in to lick it off and Jungeun looks away. She doesn’t need a reminder of how single and alone she is. Plus, it’s kind of gross because Jinsoul has pizza grease around her mouth and shirt and they both look equally as sloppy as they are pretty.

“Maybe if you guys didn’t play with your food,” Jungeun says curtly, looking down at her body which is still pristinely spotless.

“Oh, I never play with my food,” Sooyoung suggestively says, shooting a lewd look at the blonde girl inches from her face.

Now Jungeun wants to puke.

They finish their meal in silence—well almost silence, if you subtract the loud mouth sounds since Jinsoul is quite literally the messiest eater Jungeun’s ever seen. But she figures they’re all enjoying the pizza so much they have nothing to say.

The silence causes Jungeun’s mind to race. Her thoughts keep shooting back to a peppy little redhead named Kim Jiwoo.

 _Jiwoo likes pizza,_ Jungeun thinks.

She begins to panic when she ponders whether she and the girl will ever get to eat pizza together again. Then she wonders if her past self was aware that the last pizza she ate with the girl, whenever that was, would be the last for the rest of their lives. Then she wonders if Heejin likes pizza, and if Jiwoo would take _her_ to eat pizza instead.

Suddenly Jungeun is acutely aware of the rapid beating of her heart and the lightness of her head. She can briefly feel the fullness of her stomach and whoa, she ate way too much.

She feels herself losing it quickly, her breaths getting faster, and she knows if she were to look at that picture Jiwoo posted again she would completely snap.

“Jungeun, you good?”

“She’s about to freak out, see, I told you.”

“No, Jinsoul, she’ll be okay if you act normal, so chill.”

“I am chill!”

“You’re not, babe, you’re literally death-gripping her arm.”

Jungeun looks down then and sure enough, Sooyoung’s right. Jinsoul’s hand is digging into her forearm. She wonders why she didn’t notice before.

Suddenly her mouth starts moving and it’s moving _fast._

“Do you think Jiwoo’s thinking about me right now? I can’t stop thinking about her. Her birthday’s in like six months. I need to start planning what I’m gonna get her. I should have already bought her a present, shouldn’t I? Fuck, why do I suck so badly? I’m not like her, no she—she’s amazing. And her little round face—fuck! She’s so cute. She probably hates me, though. I know she does. I hate myself, too. God, I love her so much. So, so much.”

Jungeun’s got her head buried in her hands, her legs bouncing up and down as she rants.

Sooyoung and Jinsoul just sit there quietly, mouths slightly open.

“Jungeun…it’s okay, why don’t you just—”

“I’m so goddamn stupid! Why the fuck did I just leave like that?” Jungeun whips her head up, a look on her face that’s so pained it’s almost funny.

“Cuz you’re scared, dumbo. You’re scared because you’re in loooove.”

“Who said that?”

“You.”

Jungeun’s eyes widen in cold realization. Her chin starts trembling and Jinsoul and Sooyoung exchange nervous looks, unprepared for the brunette’s impending meltdown.

“I—I did say that. Oh my god, I said that.”

“Yes,” Jinsoul replies dumbly just staring at the panicking girl.

“I just—I miss her _so_ much!” Jungeun cries out before re-burying her head in her hands. Jinsoul tentatively lifts a hand to rub at her back.

“Damn,” Sooyoung comments, applying lip gloss before smacking her lips together.

Jinsoul just winks at her, miming out a silent _I told you_ as Jungeun continues to wail.

“How—” _hiccup_ “the fuck—” _hiccup_ “am I still—” _sniffle_ “so HIGH!” Jungeun sobs out, voice shrill.

“Girl, this is like primo shit. You should honestly feel grateful I shared some with you.”

“If it’s primo shit then why waste it in a blunt!”

“Sooyoung’s not broke, Jungeun, she can afford more weed,” Jinsoul says in a sassy tone.

Suddenly Jungeun stands up and heads for Jinsoul’s bed. She plops herself down face-first and tries to focus on anything other than her racing pulse.

“Deep breaths, Jungeun,” Sooyoung says emotionlessly.

“Am I a coward?”

She hears a sigh from down below.

“You already know the answer to that, princess.”

Jungeun ignores Jinsoul’s mocking pet-name and just lies there still. She turns her head and opens her eyes, entranced once again by the blonde’s lava lamps. They seem to have a calming effect. For a second, she considers buying one for her and Jiwoo’s room. Then she remembers their current situation and scratches that thought.

The thought she’s now stuck on is how things will be tomorrow. Maybe she’ll wake up and feel totally rejuvenated, ready to call up her best friend and settle things once and for all! She ditches the faux-optimism and falls back into her own pessimistic trap. Jungeun isn’t going to be the first one to reach out—she knows this. She’s too chickenshit. The only comfort Jungeun’s got is that she’s not totally pessimistic because there’s a part of her that sincerely hopes she’ll overcome her cowardice. And hope is certainly better than nothing, she supposes.

After a while, Jungeun’s thoughts start to dwindle, her mind buzzing with tiredness. Her eyes slowly shut and she drifts off to slumberville.

 

“Feel like taking another shower?”

“You wanna fuck in the shower?”

“Yeah? My shower’s like _the_ prime sex spot…I’m pretty sure Jungeun was you-know-what-ing when she was in there earlier.”

“Ew…”

“Yeah.”

  
…

  
“Okay, fine, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moment of silence for Jungeun & her pussy ass
> 
> Also Jinsoul’s shower lol that shower has seen a lot


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there is some smut in this chapter.
> 
> So if you don't wanna read Chuulip boinkety boinking then consider yourself warned!

Three more days pass by, and Jungeun has never been more miserable. She feels like she’s frozen in ice. And it’s especially sad because yesterday was officially her and Jiwoo’s seven-year anniversary of being friends. That fact didn’t even dawn on her until she received a reminder on her phone.

A few weeks ago, Jungeun had begun planning a day of fun for their anniversary. She painstakingly thought out the details of what she and the smaller girl would do. They would start at the local cat café, Jiwoo would love that, and then she was going to take her to the music store on campus. They both loved playing music but were too broke to afford instruments. It was one of the things Jungeun missed about high school—the constant access to a piano. It was her favorite method of expression and the redhead loved to sing along to her playing. She missed that so much. After that, Jungeun planned on taking them to the park where they would have a picnic. The food, of course, would be prepared by her, and she had lowkey been saving up money her parents sent to buy expensive imported cheeses and fancy meats for the occasion.

She hadn’t gotten to what the evening would consist of, but it didn’t even matter now. Amidst their ‘fight,’ if that’s what it even was, Jungeun had forgotten about the whole thing. And the potential of how much fun they could have had kills her. So does the idea that she missed out on a full day of admiring her best friend’s dazzling smile.

She confessed her whole plan to Jinsoul, and the blonde just pulled her in for a hug. Jungeun was glad there were no snarky comments. The girl had been throwing a ton of those her way lately. It was deserved, she knew.

Truthfully, Jinsoul has never been more irritated with the girl. The whole thing was grinding her gears like nothing else. And seeing her best friend so down in the dumps over something that she knows could be easily fixed was disappointing, to say the least. Plus, she was tired of having to share her bed with the younger girl whenever she wasn’t at Sooyoung’s. Jungeun hogged the blankets _every_ time.

So, it’s not surprising when Jinsoul’s kicking Jungeun out. The blonde had threatened to lock the girl out last night if she didn’t reach out to Jiwoo, but the brunette didn’t think she was serious. As she’s forcefully pushed out in the hallway, the door slammed in her face, Jungeun knows she needs to figure her shit out.

Honestly, Jungeun does feel bad about taking advantage of Jinsoul. She knows she’s overstayed her welcome, but what was she supposed to do? She asked the blonde that same question a couple of days ago and got a ‘fucking tell Jiwoo you love her, dumbass!’ in response. As blunt as the blonde was, Jungeun knows she was right.

Jiwoo continued to post daily pictures on Instagram. They ranged from pictures of the girl’s painted nails, to pictures of puppies, to cute selfies with classmates. Jungeun stared at them before she went to sleep, praying that she didn’t accidentally like one. It was beyond depressing.  

Luckily, the brunette began attending her classes again. She figures confessing to her parents that she was flunking college was another conversation she didn’t want to have any time soon.

So here she is now. Kicked out of her temporary residence—Jinsoul didn’t even let her grab her bag she realizes—and officially out of ways to run away.

As Jungeun’s aimlessly making her way through the campus quad, a hand taps her on the shoulder.

She reluctantly turns around and sees a bright looking girl beaming at her.

Heejin.

“Hey, Jungeun! How are you?”

“Uh, I’m…fine,” Jungeun awkwardly replies. She doesn’t know why the girl is even talking to her. They really hadn’t ever exchanged more than a few sentences.

“That’s good…so…where are you headed?”

Jungeun thinks about the question for a while. She doesn’t know what to say. Her dreamy gaze drifts to the flowers blooming, the trees swaying, the patient girl waiting in front of her.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, did you wanna come hang out with Jiwoo and I tonight after she leaves work? She probably told you about her coming over, right?”

Jungeun’s face drops at the mention of the girl. Her heart skips a beat when she thinks about being in her presence. She starts to look around then, paranoid that the girl is nearby.

“Uh, no. We, uh…no, she didn’t tell me,” she says nervously. Jungeun doesn’t want to let Heejin know they aren’t talking right now. Although, she does think it’s weird Jiwoo hasn’t said anything about that to the girl.

Heejin’s brow furrows at that and it’s quiet for a beat. Suddenly, Heejin is really close to her, the girl’s hands gripping her own. Jungeun just looks at them in confusion.

“Jungeun, I know we don’t really know each other, and I shouldn’t even be saying this…but you need to talk to Jiwoo.”

Jungeun just shakes her head, imploring the younger girl to explain.

“I’ve been visiting her in your guys’ room the past few days. I have an idea of what’s going on and…Jiwoo’s really depressed. It’s kind of shocking, actually. I never thought I’d see the girl that sad.”

Heejin is staring deep into her eyes and Jungeun can’t find it in her to say anything. She’s totally speechless.

“I shouldn’t get involved but, here I am…” the girl chuckles anxiously, “what you guys have—it’s really special. I haven’t even been friends with Jiwoo for that long, but I can tell. She used to rave about you in class. It was like her favorite subject to talk about was her best friend, Kim Jungeun.”

Heejin lets go of her hands then, stepping back.

“She’s waiting for you, you know. Waiting for you to make a move. She told me…” the girl laughs under breath before continuing, “she told me she was going to wait forever if it took you that long. I guess you’re both pretty stubborn.”

Jungeun stares down at the ground then, desperately trying to regulate her turbulent emotions.

“Anyway, I’m sorry for overstepping any boundaries, I just…Jiwoo’s my friend. And I hope one day you and I could be friends, too. But that might be a little awkward if you guys are, you know, like this,” Heejin says, attempting to downplay her concern.

Jungeun’s still silent but she nods quickly at the girl.

Heejin starts to back up and walk away but shoots the older girl a quick question.

“Did you want me to tell her I saw you?”

“N-No…that’s…no, please don’t.”

“Okay. No problem.”

The girl begins to walk away then, turning her head once to smile reassuringly at Jungeun.

_What the hell just happened._

Jungeun races over to the nearest bench and slams her ass down. Covering her face with her hands, she tries to process all this new information.

Jiwoo was depressed? Over her? She was so sad that Heejin, a girl Jungeun didn’t really even know, reached out to her? And she said Jiwoo was waiting for her…

It made sense, honestly. It explained why the whole radio silence thing was happening. Jiwoo was tired of being the initiator. She wanted Jungeun to be the one to reach out. She just can’t believe she thought Jiwoo didn’t care. That she was the only one that was affected by their being apart.

Suddenly, Jungeun feels different. It’s like a little switch was flicked inside of her. She smacks herself in the face a few times, eliciting some weird looks from people walking by. She feels a little crazy, like the whole push-and-pull of her emotions for the past week has finally caught up to her. Laughing like a maniac, Jungeun realizes how fucking stupid she’s been. Feeling all the words she wants to say to the girl flowing through her after being caught up in the biggest bout of emotional constipation she had ever experienced, Jungeun wishes she a had pen and paper. Jiwoo deserves an explanation from her. It’s overdue. And Jungeun knows what she has to do, what she has to say now.

But first, she needs to find the girl. She’s not going to text her, no, that’s wouldn’t work now after all this time. She was going to have to do this face-to-face.

She remembers Heejin saying Jiwoo was at work. Jungeun knows it must be true since it was Thursday. She had kind of memorized Jiwoo’s schedule.

 _To the smelly, old pet palace I go,_ Jungeun affirms.

She just hopes this works. It _has_ to work.

* * *

 

Jungeun creeps in the store, the distinct smell of rodent poop filling her nostrils. She whips her head up at the bell above the door jingling loudly.

 _Very discrete_.

She quickly bolts into one of the aisles, hoping Jiwoo hasn’t spotted her. As she stares down at a bag of cat food, she has a moment of clarity.

 _I’m stalking her. I’m literally stalking my best friend right now,_ she thinks, wondering if she’s actually gone crazy.

Jungeun skirts slyly around to the next aisle, peeking around the corner so she’s facing the checkout counter. There’s an old lady and her dachshund and what looks like a hairy old dude behind the counter. He’s wearing a nametag that Jungeun is too far away to read. It’s not like it matters anyway unless Jiwoo has magically transformed into a middle-aged man in the past few days.

Jungeun bites her lip, carefully slinking around the corner like a secret agent into the next aisle, grabbing onto one of the corners and inspecting the whole store. There’s the fish section, but she can tell there’s no one over there because the tanks have clear glass. To the left, she notices the small rodents—hamsters and guinea pigs aplenty. She smiles for a second, reminded of all the videos and pictures Jiwoo’s sent of her playing with the hamsters before closing up. For someone who radiated sunlight and happiness, Jungeun always thought it was weird how much Jiwoo loved creatures that were notorious for eating their children. The sunshine-y girl isn’t over there, either, as she soon discovers.

She turns her attention towards where the birds are squawking in their cages, but she can’t get a good view from where she is.

 _To the next aisle I go_ , she sings in her head.

A cross between tip-toeing and skipping, Jungeun knows the way she’s moving from aisle to aisle looks ridiculous. But she doesn’t linger on the thought because now she has a perfect view of the birds. She twists her body around slightly, trying to peek around a large cage that apparently houses a very obnoxious, very loud parrot. The way it shakes its feathers up and down honestly freaks Jungeun out and she sighs deeply when she realizes Jiwoo isn’t tending to the birds, either.

She begins to think that maybe she and Heejin got it wrong, that Jiwoo isn’t working today. It doesn’t make sense though, Jungeun knew Jiwoo worked every Thursday. She wonders if the girl called out, though it seemed unlikely. Maybe she was on a break? Yeah, that’s probably what it is, Jungeun thinks, and if she waits around for long enough, she guesses she’ll eventually spot the girl.

Her mind set on hiding out among the dog beds, Jungeun turns around to start heading to the aisle over, letting out a comically-loud gasp as she’s face to face with none other than Kim Jiwoo.

Jungeun throws her hand over her heart—the girl scared the crap out of her. Once she moves past the initial shock of being caught, Jungeun realizes that Jiwoo doesn’t look happy. She also looks extremely tired. But Jungeun doesn’t care, the girl is the biggest sight for sore eyes she could imagine.

An intense blush creeps over her neck, making its way up to her cheeks and ears. Jiwoo just stands there, arms crossed over her chest, looking at Jungeun like she’s sprouted another head.

“What are you doing?!”

“What do you mean, Jiwoo?” Jungeun asks innocently.

Jiwoo’s eyes almost roll to the back of her head.

“Jungeun, I just watched you perform some sort of creepy dance routine skipping around in the aisles. I was literally like six feet away from you when you first walked in.”

“So…you knew I was here the whole time?”

“Yes, Jungeun. In fact, I even spotted you walking UP to the store. And yes, I watched you turn around several times before actually coming in.”

Jungeun prays silently for death to take her right then and there.

“I know you came in here looking for me,” Jiwoo proclaims, a sour look still on her face.

“Okay, fine! I was looking for you! So, what?”

“…why?”

Jungeun rolls her head around exaggeratedly at the question, feeling like the answer is obvious.

“I wanted your opinion on whether I’d be a better cat or dog owner,” Jungeun says sarcastically, realizing by the scowl on Jiwoo’s face that making jokes right now is probably a bad idea.

“Jungeun!”

“Fine! I miss you, okay? I haven’t seen you for almost a week!” Jungeun exclaims, and to other people, she knows she must sound crazy after all a week isn’t really a long time. But for Jiwoo and Jungeun it was an eternity. Jungeun feels like the withdrawal she felt earlier was already fading in the other girl’s presence.

_Is that new eyeshadow?_

“Whose fault is that?” Jiwoo spits out bitterly.

Jungeun looks down in shame, the other girl’s reaction what she expected.

“I know it’s mine, Jiwoo, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking—”

“All you do is think, Jungeun, but you never _act_.”

“Okay…well, I’m a coward, we all know that, Jiwooming. And I know I’m the biggest dumbass on the planet—”

Jiwoo starts to interrupt her but a customer beats her to it, tapping the girl on the shoulder and unknowingly injecting himself into an awkward situation.

“Ma’am, can you tell me if you have any more colors in this brand?” The customer asks innocently, holding a dog collar in his hand.

Jiwoo awkwardly glances from Jungeun to the customer, eventually walking away to help him and leaving Jungeun by herself.

Jungeun catches her breath for a second trying to calm herself down. Her exchange with Jiwoo happened so fast she doesn’t think her mind has fully caught up. She peeks her head around the corner, watching interestedly as Jiwoo chats energetically with the customer before turning to the hairy guy behind the counter. She guesses that’s her manager. 

She spies on the girl for a while, getting caught up in how cute she looks with her little green button up and matching cap. The fact that she wanted to avoid this girl, a girl who represented happiness and everything good in the world, well, Jungeun’s not sure what the hell she was thinking. Jiwoo glances her way a couple of times, her expression unreadable to Jungeun due to the distance. Just then another customer approaches Jiwoo and the brunette guesses she should get going. Ultimately, the girl was there to work, not engage in what would likely be an incredibly intense emotional blowout. She feels a bit bad for putting Jiwoo in a weird position while she was working.

Jungeun heads out the door, head hanging low. She makes her way through the parking lot, intent on getting some food in her belly when she hears footsteps running up behind her.

“Jungeun, wait!”

Jiwoo stops in front of her out of breath and squinting her eyes because of the sun.

Jungeun just admires the fidgeting girl in front of her, knowing she probably has a shocked expression on her face.

“Well?” is all Jiwoo says, prompting Jungeun to continue where they left off.

“Well, what?”

“What do you mean, _what_? Are you gonna explain yourself? Apologize?”

Jungeun swallows at the anger in Jiwoo’s tone and registers the hurt behind the girl’s eyes.

“Jiwoo…I’m sorry for coming to your job like this—I shouldn’t have. I’m just a little crazy at the moment, as you can probably tell,” Jungeun chuckles nervously, “There’s a lot I want to say to you, a lot that you deserve to hear. But…”

Jiwoo hangs on every word Jungeun gives her.

“But?”

“But I don’t think we should do this right here, right now,” Jungeun says firmly, “I’ve been avoiding you and I can’t do it anymore. I’m heading back to the room after this, and I plan to stay there tonight if that’s okay with you.”

Jiwoo, eyes still squinted and right hand a visor on her forehead, just gazes at Jungeun and considers whether she’s ready to let the girl back in. God, she wants to. But she had been hurt so badly and was afraid to deal with that again.

Jungeun is standing there waiting on any sort of response from the girl for seconds on end. A part of her wonders if Jiwoo is keeping her in suspense as a form of payback. She shifts her weight from leg to leg, just staring at the smaller girl who is now looking around the parking lot in thought.

“Jiwoo…”

“I want to talk to you first. In our room. Then I’ll decide,” Jiwoo says, still looking away.

Jungeun agrees and watches the smaller girl head back into the store, suddenly more nervous than she’s ever been in her life. She has no idea how the evening is about to play out.

* * *

 

Their room seems different. Jungeun doesn’t know why, but for some reason, it feels like a completely different room. She can’t figure it out. Her stuff is in the same place it always is, but the air feels new. Like something has changed. Maybe it’s just her that’s changed.

She knows Jiwoo is off in an hour, half because she knows the girl’s schedule so well and half because she checked the calendar on the wall about five times to be sure. She’s nervously pacing their room, trying to find things to look at and distract herself. Scrolling through the internet didn’t work and neither did trying to play Mario on Jiwoo’s Nintendo. Every ten seconds she glances at the clock, counting down the minutes until the redhead comes back.

Soon it was going to happen. She was going to confess and attempt to repair what she fucked up so badly. The butterflies in her stomach were going mad and her palms were so sweaty she had to keep wiping them on her pants.

Jungeun stares at the door and imagines the girl walking in at any moment. Her body is so tense she knows that when Jiwoo does, it will startle the shit out of her. She’s hyper aware of every single noise, her heart rate picking up whenever she hears footsteps in the hallway. And as she sits on her bed and plays with the rings on her fingers, she gets super antsy.

She walks over to the mirror and inspects her makeup. She never cared that much about how she looked around Jiwoo, but this was different. She was going to confess that she _loved_ her. Dabbing on some more powder and touching up her eyeliner, Jungeun realizes how much she wanted to look good for the girl. At least then, even if Jiwoo does reject her, she at least doesn’t have to worry about that.

It’s weird to think about—the fact that this upcoming conversation could either make or break their friendship. At least, that’s how Jungeun feels about it. And as she stares at her reflection in the mirror, she quickly runs through memories of the two of them over the years. It makes the pressure in her body build and build. She tells herself it’s not a big deal, that it will just be a casual talk between two buds. Lying to herself isn’t going to work, though. Her body certainly doesn’t believe the lie, and it’s reminding her in every way it can. Her stomach is churning, her hands are shaky, and even though it’s cold in the room, she’s worked up quite a sweat. A part of her regrets never attending that meditation workshop Jinsoul tried to drag her to over a year ago. Maybe she could have learned how to properly respire.

Right after Jungeun finishes applying lip gloss with shaking hands is when Jiwoo finally opens the door. The sight of the girl makes her heart pound. Blood floods to her cheeks and she doesn’t even try to fight it.

The brunette briskly hops up and stands idly in the middle of the room. She probably looks a bit silly—she’s too self-aware and straightens her back out so she looks like a soldier waiting for orders. The redhead pauses in the doorway before moving to slip off her jacket, watching Jungeun the entire time. She takes a little longer than usual placing it on the coat rack.

She takes some of her belongings out of her pant pockets and lays them carefully on her desk. Then she hesitates for a second before finally striding over to stand right in front of her still frozen best friend.

“Hey…” Jiwoo says slowly.

“Hi.”

“So, whenever you wanna…I mean, you can talk if you want.”

Jungeun nods and clasps her hands together behind her back.

_Ok, here goes nothing._

“I really like the hat you wear to work; I don’t know if I’ve told you that before.”

And then it’s so quiet they can hear the faint sound of music being played somewhere in another room.

Jiwoo just makes a face at her. A face that says she said the wrong thing.

So Jungeun tries again.

“How has your week been?”

“Jungeun, come on.”

“Okay, sorry, I just…this is awkward,” Jungeun nervously picks some lint off her sweater before continuing, “I really missed you these past several days... like, so much t-that I can’t really put it into words…It was hard being away from my Jiwooming,” she says fondly.

Jiwoo is silent but the brunette can tell she’s waiting for something.

 _Just say it_ , Jungeun’s brain is shouting at her.

“Why didn’t you try to talk to me? If you missed me so much…”

Jungeun sighs.

“I don’t know. I was avoiding you because I knew I hurt you and that you were probably mad at me. And I felt guilty _because_ I hurt you and made you mad at me. I didn’t even know if you wanted me to talk to you.” Jungeun begins nervously tapping her foot on the floor.

“That night, when you left…” Jiwoo trails off, prompting the girl to explain.

“I—I don’t know why I did what I did that night, Jiwoo. I m-mean I do know, but…” Jungeun is stammering anxiously and begging herself not to start giggling from nerves. This was harder than she thought it was going to be, and she already knew it would be difficult.

“If you didn’t want to do it, I would have stopped, we didn’t have—”

“No, I wanted to, Jiwoo. I wanted to so badly you have no idea. And I’m so sorry for making you think otherwise.”

Jungeun watches the other girl scratch at her arm out of anxiety. This whole thing, _talking_ to Jiwoo about _this_ stuff, was her worst nightmare. But it needed to happen, she knew that. At least it didn’t seem like she was the only one who was nervous. Although she doubts Jiwoo is on the verge of a panic attack like she is.

“So then why?”

“Because it scared me. _You_ scared me.”

The redhead looks embarrassed and awkwardly shifts her gaze down to her feet.

“No, no that’s not what I meant. God, this is hard.” She crosses her arms and then uncrosses them.

The smaller girl looks into her eyes again, her expression slightly impatient but somehow encouraging.

“I mean, m-my _feelings_ for you scared me,” Jungeun sighs out—she’s half-way there. “You’re my best friend in the whole world. I didn’t want to lose that—”

“Why would you ever think you would lose me, Jungeun?”

“Maybe if you found out about the way I feel about you…that I…that I’m…”

Jungeun closes her eyes and furiously tries to force the words out. Biting her lip until it’s nearly bleeding, she wonders if she can do this—it’s only words, she tries to remind herself. She opens them when she feels soft hands grab onto her own. Her heart skips more than one beat when she stares down at how well they fit together, how it seems like they were the only hands she was ever supposed to hold.

And then the words pour out of her like oil.

“That I’m in love with you.”

…

The silence is deafening.

She feels the girl’s grip on her hands squeeze a little tighter but Jungeun doesn’t dare to lift her eyes up. She feels immensely relieved she finally got the words out but also slightly nauseous at what might come now. There’s literally no time to make any guesses, though. Suddenly Jiwoo takes her index finger and pushes the brunette’s chin up, forcing her to meet her eyes.

Jungeun notices the tears that have begun to well up in them. And she doesn’t miss the girl’s expression—she knows she’ll never forget it as long as she lives. It’s like she was completely in awe of the brunette.

“I’m so, so sorry I never said it. I was just terrified, Jiwoo. So terrified that everything would change and that you would hate me and—”

She’s interrupted by the smaller girl practically plowing her down with a hug so tight Jungeun can barely breathe. If she died from suffocation right now, she wouldn’t mind. It’s been so long since they’ve hugged each other, she can’t even remember the last time. Jungeun wraps her arms around the girl’s tiny waist and they stay like that for a while, just soaking each other in.

“It’s not possible for me to ever hate you, Jungeunnie.”

She smiles then and feels a gigantic lump in her throat.

Jiwoo pulls away but holds the girl’s hands again, not letting her get away. Jungeun just waits to react as it seems like the redhead has things she wants to say, too.

“I’m sorry, Jungeun.”

And that’s certainly _not_ what she was expecting.

“…what? Jiwoo, you haven’t done anything wrong…I—" she stops her thought when she sees the tears that have begun to fall down the girl’s cheeks. “What are you saying sorry for?”

“A lot of things…” and then Jiwoo takes her turn to sigh deeply, preparing herself to speak words she had never dreamed of saying out loud. “I’m sorry that earlier at the pet store I made it seem like you were the only one who did something wrong. It’s not true. I’m sorry that I ignored you at the party cuz I was too jealous of you and Haseul. I’m sorry for trying to use Sooyoung to make you jealous back. I’m sorry that we didn’t talk this past week, that we made each other so unhappy,” the girl sniffles and looks deeply into Jungeun’s eyes, “I’m sorry if sometimes I make it hard to talk to me about stuff. I’m sorry that I make you so scared of me. I never wanted that. And…” Jiwoo gulps before continuing, “and I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to realize how completely in love with you I am. I’m just so sorry, Jungeun.”

Jiwoo pounces on her again, burying her face in Jungeun’s shoulder and full-on sobbing. Jungeun just stands there attempting to process everything the girl just said.

 _She’s in love with me,_ she thinks in amazement. And her mind’s stuck on that word. _Love._

She doesn’t even notice her own tears. Her hands move to grab at the girl’s back, rubbing small circles as they hold each other and cry.

“You love me? Like, _love,_ love?”

“Of course I do, Jungeun.”

“Like as in more than just best friend love?” She can’t quite believe it. Her mind never let her imagine that Jiwoo would truly reciprocate her feelings. If she ever did, her pessimism would butt its way back in. It feels like someone will pinch her any second and she’ll wake up. At least it would be the best dream she ever had.

Jiwoo pulls back and smiles softly at the puzzled girl. She gently pecks her forehead and rubs her hands up and down the girl’s arms. Jungeun’s eyes are wide and she’s so shocked that her tears have stopped completely.

“Jungeun, I’m absolutely head over heels in love with you. I think I always have been I just…didn’t completely realize it for a long time.”

Jungeun’s mood takes a 180, her mouth spreading into the widest and dorkiest grin the smaller girl knows she’s ever seen. And it’s totally contagious because soon Jiwoo is cheesing right back at her.

“I love you, too,” Jungeun says breathlessly and pulls the girl’s face towards her own, planting a long, loving kiss on her lips. She feels Jiwoo smiling against her mouth and she pulls away to look at the girl’s face again. It’s like she’s seeing her for the first time.

“My emotions are all over the place this week,” she admits chuckling.

“Tell me about it,” Jiwoo responds.

Then Jungeun remembers that they have more to talk about, more things that are still unclear.

“Jiwoo,” she firmly grabs the girl’s cheeks to get her full attention, as if she didn’t have it already, “I saw your Instagram posts…you seemed so happy. I couldn’t understand why you were so happy. It…it made me feel so alone. Like I was the only one who missed us being together.”

Jiwoo violently shakes her head in disbelief.

“Jungeun, no. No way. I only posted those pictures to fool myself into thinking everything was fine, but it didn’t work. Do you know how completely miserable I’ve been without you?”

Jungeun stares at her conflicted about whether she wants the girl to tell her.

“I…I’ve been…I’ve been sleeping in your bed every single night. The sheets, your pillow—everything smells like you. It made me feel close to you even though you weren’t here. I was _so_ sad and stayed up all night and most of the day just crying. All because I missed you so much and thought I screwed things up.”

“Jiwoo, I was the one who screwed things up, not you.”

“We both did, Jungie. Because we didn’t communicate with each other.” Jiwoo looks down sighing, a hint of guilt on her face. It hurts Jungeun’s heart.

“Well, I’m tired of doing that.”

“What?”

“Not being honest with you. Not telling you how I feel. I don’t want to go through anything like this again. I won’t let us.”

Jiwoo can’t believe the girl’s words. She can’t believe that Jungeun is the one _saying_ those words. She feels so proud of the girl and so incredibly in love. Her chest is full and she feels more tears slide down her face.

“Me, too.”

“So then let me just say some more things before I get too scared again.”

Jungeun takes a huge breath, stepping back slightly and looking directly into the girl’s eyes.

“Jiwoo, I want to be with you. I want that more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. I’ve always wanted that, ever since I saw your stupid cute face practically drowning in the pool all those years ago.”

They laugh then, both crying happy tears.

“I was content just being your best friend cuz I got to be around you all the time. And I never let myself actually believe we could be more than that. I just thought there was no way you would ever feel that way about me. I mean, you’re amazing and I’m…well, me.”

Jiwoo scrambles to hold the girl in her arms, shaking her head. She begins to open her mouth to protest the brunette’s self-deprecating words, but a finger is placed on her lips to shush her.

“But for some reason, you _do_ love me. And if you want…” Jiwoo thinks it’s adorable how nervous Jungeun looks, “I mean you don’t have to, but if you want to give this a go, then I’m ready.”

Jiwoo looks at the girl she’s holding in her arms and grins. She was going to say yes to her, obviously. But first, she wanted to have some fun. They could use a little tension-breaker.

“I don’t know, Jungeunnie, maybe it’s not a good idea…”

“Oh…” the brunette tries to conceal her disappointment, her grip on the other girl loosening slightly. “That’s okay. No problem.”

Jiwoo suddenly pushes her, like actually pushes her, and Jungeun is baffled.

“Of course I want to be with you, you dunce! You total dummy! I just told you how much I love you!”

Jungeun’s heart is alternating between speeding up and slowing down. That’s just what the girl does to her. Snorting, she grabs Jiwoo and drags her to her bed, plopping them both down and moving to tickle her.

“This!” She yells, poking and prodding and tickling the girl, “is for the little stunt you just pulled!”

Jiwoo laughs harder than she’s laughed in a long while. She thrashes her body around under the brunette’s touch, pushing at her shoulders and pulling her in simultaneously. Eventually, Jungeun gives her some reprieve and brushes away any lingering tears on the girl’s cheeks. They grin at each other for a while, and Jungeun tilts her head to kiss the redhead when she can’t resist anymore. She pulls away and basks in how in love she feels. The smaller girl still has her eyes closed and lips puckered up, and Jungeun giggles at how adorable she looks.

 “You know, I saw Heejin earlier.”

“Really? What did she say…?”

“Not a lot…just…told me what I already knew—that I needed to talk to you.”

“I just texted her before I got here to cancel our plans tonight. She didn’t mention anything about running into you,” Jiwoo says with a frown.

“I told her not to…by the way, you don’t have to cancel your plans because of me. If you wanna go hang out with her, I’m okay.”

“No, Jungie. Shut up. I’m not spending any more time away from you. Besides, it was her idea to hang out to cheer me up.”

Jungeun’s eyes get sad again at that thought and she affectionately plays with the girl’s splayed out bangs.

“I can’t believe I made you so sad. I’ll never forgive myself for it…”

“But everything’s okay now, Jungeun. _You_ cheered me up.”

“Still…”

Just then a phone buzzes, the girls clumsily fumbling to figure out whose it is.

“It’s Jinsoul,” Jungeun states, looking down at her phone for no more than three seconds before reaching to set it on the nightstand.

“What did she say?”

“Oh, it’s just her asking if I’ve gotten over myself yet and told a _certain girl_ that I’m in love with her.”

Jiwoo smiles and pecks Jungeun’s cheek.

“Are you gonna tell her you did, and that said _girl_ loves you back?”

Jungeun shyly tucks her head in Jiwoo’s neck, her breaths tingling the girl’s skin.

“Maybe tomorrow. For now, I just wanna lie here with you.”

Jiwoo wraps herself around the girl like a sloth. They hold each other for a long time, occasionally leaving little kisses on each other’s skin, a blanket of reconciliation and bliss and comfort and _love_ enveloping them.

Hours later, after a few makeout sessions, a couple of heart-to-hearts, and a late takeout dinner, the two Kim’s are ready to get some much-needed sleep.

With Jungeun’s body resting against hers, Jiwoo feels sleepy for the first time all week. She’s so relieved she won’t be spending another night bawling her eyes out. The girl she loves is in her arms and everything feels perfect. It’s almost like everything they put each other through was worth it because the way they’re clinging to each other now might not have happened. Jiwoo doesn’t want to speculate, though. For the first time in a long time, her mind is quiet and at peace.

“I got your post-it by the way…” Jungeun whispers into the darkness.

“I noticed that.”

“I put it in my wallet. It’s beautiful.”

“I meant what I wrote. I’ll always be here.”

“I know.” The brunette feels a single tear roll down her cheek and she wipes it away. “Thank you for loving me.”

“Of course. It’s my favorite thing to do.”

“I love you.” She sniffles and feels Jiwoo kiss the top of her head gently. It reminds her of the way the girl kissed her _that_ night. She’s fascinated by how much is different now. How perfectly in place all the pieces in her life feel at this moment. And it’s all because of Jiwoo.

“Goodnight, Jungeun.”

“Night.”

* * *

 

Jiwoo wakes up to the feeling of someone peppering kisses all over her face. It’s disorienting at first and she assumes she’s still dreaming. But then she opens her eyes and her body feels all warm and loose. Jungeun’s hair is messily sticking up in spots and her eyes are adoringly sparkling down at her. Memories of yesterday fill her mind and a slow smile takes over her face.

“You look so cute with your hair like that.” She reaches up and tousles the brunette’s bedhead.

“You should see yourself. Your bangs are flattened to one side and I’ve been dying to take a picture.”

“Don’t!” Jiwoo covers her face, the girl above her kissing her hands and chuckling.

She lowers them after a moment and reaches up to stroke Jungeun’s cheek. This morning is already the best morning she’s ever had, and it’s barely begun.

“I woke you up cuz you have class this morning.” Jungeun frowns and collapses on Jiwoo’s chest.

“Nooooo, I wanna stay with you!”

Jiwoo runs her hands through the girl’s hair and feels her grinning on her chest. She wonders if she can feel her heartbeat.

“Don’t worry, I woke us up really early, so we get lots of time to do this.”

Then Jiwoo feels the girl’s head rise and before she knows it Jungeun is laying one on her. Her mouth moves against the girl’s like it’s second nature. Suddenly she remembers she hasn’t brushed her teeth and she pushes the girl off.

“Jungeun, no, stop. I have morning breath.”

The brunette shrugs and tries to move back in, Jiwoo holding her back once again.

“Jiwoo, I don’t care about that. I’m sure I do, too. But—”

“I’ll kiss you after I brush my teeth, I promise.”

Jungeun rolls on her side and lets out a _fine_ before stretching her arms out.

They lie there for a while and whisper sweet nothing’s in each other’s ears. Jungeun was being so affectionate and it was making the redhead giggle what some people might consider to be an excessive amount. Jungeun thought it was the prettiest sound and she wanted to try and make the girl do it as much as she could.

 Suddenly Jiwoo is reminded of something that was bothering her a little and speaks up.

“You stayed at Jinsoul’s every single night the past week, right?”

“Yup.”

“Oh…I thought so…”

Jungeun perches herself up on her elbow, flicking her eyes all over Jiwoo’s face and wondering what _that_ reaction is all about.

“What’s wrong?”

Jiwoo shakes her head as if to say _nothing_ but Jungeun grabs her face and turns it towards her. She cocks her eyebrows to goad the girl into explaining.

“I’m just a tiny bit jealous that Jinsoul got to wake up with you all week and I didn’t.”

Jungeun rolls her eyes and falls back down.

“Oh, please. Jinsoul wasn’t even there half the time. She was too busy resting comfortably up Sooyoung’s ass.”

“Was she nice to you, at least?”

“Yeah, she was. I mean, in her own Jinsoul way, of course. I should probably thank her today, actually…and break the news.”

The corners of Jiwoo’s lips curl up slightly when she pictures how that conversation is going to go.

“You know, Jinsoul and I haven’t really gotten along that well in the past…and I know you say it’s cuz she was threatened by me…but do you think maybe she could tell?”

“Tell what?”

“That I loved you.”

Jungeun takes in Jiwoo’s earnest expression when she says those words again and swoons.

“Jinsoul…I don’t know. That girl acts like an idiot most of the time but she can be pretty intuitive, I’ll give her that.” Jungeun pauses, a new thought popping into her head, “were you upset when I got together with her?”

“No, not at all. I was happy that you were happy. Plus, Jinsoul seemed to treat you well enough.” Jiwoo concentrates on the ticking of the clock hand on the wall.  “But I think…maybe it was hard sometimes. I guess I just fooled myself into thinking I was okay with it. “

Jungeun grasps the girl’s hand and kisses it softly.

“Just so you know…the biggest reason we broke up is because she worked out that I was head over heels for you.”

Jiwoo snaps her attention to the brunette. That thought never occurred to her before.

“I tried to deny it of course but I guess it was pretty obvious.”

Jiwoo thinks it’s unfair how cute Jungeun looks right now. And that mixed with the new information she just received is doing crazy stuff to her. And _screw_ brushing her teeth—she has to kiss the brunette right now.

Humming into the smaller girl’s lips, Jungeun tugs on the front of her shirt. Jiwoo just tightens her grip on the girl, leaving a couple lingering pecks before pulling back.

“What happened to brushing your teeth?” Jungeun teases.

“Well, stop making my heart do flips.”

“You first.”

Jungeun knows if she were watching any other couple act like this she would be gagging. But because it’s her and Jiwoo it’s perfectly acceptable.

The two of them reluctantly drag themselves out of Jungeun’s bed. They head to the showers at different times—Jiwoo hanging back only because she forgot to complete her assignment for her Art History class today. When she heads to the bathroom, she catches the brunette on the way out and gives her a smack on her towel-covered butt.

It’s hard for Jiwoo to focus on getting ready because Jungeun keeps distracting her. The girl tries everything she can to make the redhead smile and laugh. Jungeun pulls funny faces whenever she looks over and even acts out full musical numbers with one of their hairbrushes. Then when Jiwoo complains about how distracting she’s being, Jungeun pretends to sob, which somehow turns into the girl acting out a variety of different emotions like a mime. Jiwoo has fun guessing for a while but happens to glance at the clock and freaks out. She scolds the brunette for almost making her late and quickly gathers up her stuff.

“Wait! You promised!” Jungeun shouts dejectedly.

Jiwoo turns on her heels and races over to the girl, pulling her down by the shirt collar to her lips. It’s right on the border between a peck and a kiss. Jungeun doesn’t care how long it lasts because she got what she wanted and her heart is soaring. She feels a new air of confidence and catches herself smiling minutes after the girl has left.

Jungeun knows she, too, has class in an hour or so and she begins to get ready. Her thoughts run wild with all the different things she and Jiwoo can do now that they’re a _couple._ She envisions all the dates they’ll have, all the places she’ll take the girl. She even considers applying for a job somewhere so she’ll be able to spoil the redhead with gifts and fancy food.

Her thoughts are cut short when her phone starts repeatedly buzzing next to her. It’s Jinsoul. An excited smile appears on her face when she thinks about how she’ll now get to tell people how she’s officially off the market.

Biting her lip to contain her grin, Jungeun answers the phone.

“Why, hello there.”

“Why the hell are you ignoring my texts, Jungeun?! If you’re mad at me for kicking you out I swear to god, it was for your own well-being and—”

“Chill, Jinsoul. I’m not mad at you. I’m actually happy you did that, although I would like to come get my stuff at some point…”

“Yeah, that’s fine…but wait, why are you _happy_ I kicked you out? Jungeun, why are you happy?!” Jinsoul’s voice gets progressively louder and more frantic.

Jungeun prepares herself to unleash the good news on the blonde.

“I’m happy because it was a push in the right direction, let’s just say that.”

“Don’t be coy with me, bitch! I know something happened; I can tell by your voice!”

“Well, I slept in our room last night…”

“Okay, AND?”

“And…” Jungeun grins, “I didn’t sleep alone.”

“Oh my god, oh my god!” The blonde exaggeratedly sucks in air, “you and Jiwoo had sex?!!!!”

“No, no we just cuddled and slept. But your best friend isn’t single anymore.”

“Holy shit. You and Jiwoo. Jiwoo and you. Oh my god, Jungeun she’s your _girlfriend?”_

The word makes Jungeun’s heart flutter. She hadn’t even associated that word with Jiwoo yet. But the fact that it’s true blows her mind.

“She’s…yeah, I guess she’s my _girlfriend._ ” She dreamily stares off into space, the word feeling so natural and right coming out of her mouth.

“Jungeun.”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me everything, right now. And don’t leave out details! I want to hear how much of a lovesick loser you were last night.”

So Jungeun does.

And when she’s sitting in class, the blonde’s ‘aww’s’ and multitude of colorful curse words echo in her brain. She drums her fingers on the table replaying the conversation. She’s especially unable to forget the last thing that Jinsoul said before she got off the phone: “Please just seal the deal already and fuck that girl, Jungeun.”

She shakes her head and tries to focus on whatever her professor is rambling on about.

 _I don’t need to be having those kinds of thought right now,_ she reminds herself.

But she’s so excited for tonight.

Who knows, maybe she’ll actually take Jinsoul’s advice.

* * *

 

Later that evening, the two of them go out for dinner at this charming little diner in the city. Jiwoo feeds Jungeun half of her meal and only misses her mouth intentionally a few times. She liked having to clean the girl’s mouth and chin up with her napkin. Jungeun isn’t amused but lets her face be dabbed at like a baby. She maybe even secretly liked it a little. Only a little, though.

They split a bottle of wine and play a game of ‘would you rather’ resulting in dirty looks from other diners at how loud their laughing gets.

At one point, Jiwoo takes one of her pasta noodles and places it on her top lip, mimicking a mustache. She’s looking down at it, eyes crossed, and when she peeks up, she realizes Jungeun is snapping pictures of her. Not seeing the point in begging the brunette to delete them, Jiwoo begins to pose like a model. Jungeun gets really into being behind the camera—usually, that’s Jiwoo’s job—and gives the girl ridiculous instructions like “close one eye, make your tongue a four-leaf clover, and scrunch your nose!” And Jiwoo thought _she_ was extra.

By the time they finish their meals, Jungeun feels like she’s six-months pregnant with how much she ate. She attempts to ask for the check but receives a slap on her hand. Jiwoo, her eyes all bright and lip jutting out in a pout, tells the girl she’s not leaving until she gets to eat dessert.

Jungeun figures now is her chance to get revenge when their waiter brings over Jiwoo’s strawberry-covered slice of cheesecake. She hoards the forks and informs Jiwoo that she gets to feed the girl now—it was only fair. And even though she’s incredibly full, when she “accidentally” smears cake on Jiwoo’s cheek, she leans in to lick it off. Jiwoo is slightly embarrassed and her cheeks flush. She looks around to make sure no one’s watching but figures she can’t be mad when she sees Jungeun’s satisfied grin.

When they leave the restaurant, it’s full-on pouring outside. Knowing that neither of them brought an umbrella, Jungeun takes off her leather jacket and drapes it over the two of them. They laugh like fools as they run to the nearest bus stop.

And when they make it on the bus, Jiwoo lifts her arm up when they sit down so Jungeun can nuzzle into her. They stay like that the whole ride, the redhead occasionally leaving kisses on the girl’s forehead. They ignore the weird looks they get. After all, they were in their honeymoon-phase bubble and nothing was bringing them out.

When they reach their room, it’s almost time to go to sleep. Or at least, Jungeun thinks it’s time to go to sleep until she realizes neither of them has class tomorrow.

Jiwoo’s brushing her hair since it got kind of tangled running around in the rain. Even though they were mostly covered thanks to Jungeun’s chivalry, it got a little wet which left it kind of frizzy. Jungeun’s folding some of her clothes, eager for another night of falling asleep next to her favorite person.

She’s sliding her hand across one of her shirts trying to get the wrinkles out when she remembers something she needs to mention to Jiwoo.

“Hey, I think Heejin’s dating weird furry girl across the hall.”

“Hyunjin?” Jiwoo asks curiously, meeting Jungeun’s eyes in the mirror.

“Uh, any other furries across the hall I should know about?”

“Wait, why do you say that?”

“I saw her leaving Hyunjin’s room this morning after you left. She was acting, let’s just say, suspicious.”

Jiwoo rolls her eyes at Jungeun, not really believing her words.

“They could just be friends.”

“She had like a million hickeys on her neck, Jiwooming.”

Jiwoo stops brushing her hair and turns around to face the girl.

“Oh…well that’s nice! Maybe the four of us can hang out and—"

“Ew, no way. I don’t wanna be a part of their weird furry rituals!”

“Jungeunnie, I didn’t mean like _that_ you pervert.”

Jiwoo glides over to the brunette and pulls her into a warm hug. She was already feeling too much distance and wanted to fix that.

Jungeun turns her head slightly so she can breathe in the smell of the girl’s hair. Her hands are rubbing up and down the girl’s back and she feels so happy.

But then Jiwoo says something that stirs up some not-so-great feelings.

“We’ve officially been friends for seven years, by the way. I noticed the date marked on my calendar the other day. Isn’t that so cool?”

Jungeun doesn’t respond. She feels heartbroken when she remembers her plans for the two of them that never came to fruition. She can’t help it; It was still a sore spot for her.

But staying silent was a bad idea because then Jiwoo’s looking at her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I have to admit something to you.”

Jiwoo’s concerned face gets even _more_ concerned when she says that and Jungeun scolds herself silently.

“It’s not bad it’s just…a little sad.”

Jiwoo interlocks their fingers together then and waits patiently for Jungeun to talk.

“I had a whole thing planned for our seven-year anniversary. It was going to be amazing and we were going to have so much fun and you were gonna be so happy…” She trails off and feels pathetic when Jiwoo just stares at her with a faint smile.

“I just wanted it to be perfect. I think maybe in the back of my mind I thought it could be the moment where I would confess to you. That probably wouldn’t have happened, but it doesn’t matter because the day was going to be _so_ special. Just you and me. And it was ruined. All because of…you know.”

“Jungeun…” Jiwoo’s heart is doing flips and even though she asked the girl to stop doing that to her, it feels magnificent.

“No, it’s okay, I’m gonna make it up to you. To us. I’m gonna take you on the best date you could ever imagine.”

“That’s any date with you.”

Jungeun groans at how cheesy the girl’s comment is. She mimes out an arrow shooting right into her heart, stumbling back at the pretend impact.

“I’m just saying how I feel!”

“And I love it, baby.”

The name catches Jiwoo way off guard. Jungeun had never called her that before. She feels a sense of recognition at the sweet term of endearment. She was already still reeling from Jungeun’s anniversary confession. It was hard to take this, now, too. Her heart starts banging around in her chest and her breathing becomes a little faster. She tugs on Jungeun’s arm and pulls her against her body with intent.  

With one hand wrapped around Jungeun’s neck, the other cradling her jaw, she gently kisses her bottom lip. She tugs on it just a little and feels the brunette wrap her arms snugly around her waist. Jiwoo arches into her, a low gasp escaping from her mouth when Jungeun strongly presses her lips against hers. Once she makes that sound, something in the room shifts.

Things escalate quickly. Jungeun’s shirt is ripped off and the smaller girl litters kisses along her jaw and collarbone. Jiwoo’s fingers interlock around Jungeun’s neck and she inhales sharply when the girl bites at her lip. The brunette basks in the sound and sighs out dreamily. It feels like a choreographed dance the way their lips move so in sync. Jiwoo presses herself even closer into the slightly taller girl, leaving absolutely no space between them. She rapidly walks them backwards until Jungeun’s sitting on the edge of her bed, Jiwoo straddling her lap.

Jungeun thinks she could do this forever, kiss Jiwoo. After the night they almost slept together, she remembers feeling like her lips belonged to the peppy girl for the rest of her life. It’s amazing, she thinks, how good of a kisser the other girl is. She can’t say she’s never fantasized about it. But the real thing is better. So much better.

“I want to touch you,” Jiwoo suddenly pants out, determination in her voice. “Let me touch you.”

She slides her hands up and down Jungeun’s bare stomach with a dark look in her eyes, eagerly awaiting her response.

Jungeun’s heart skips a beat at Jiwoo’s words. She feels too hot and she knows it’s the gravity of the situation pounding into her. There’s nothing she wants more than for Jiwoo to touch her but she’s nervous. And it’s a special kind of nerves that she knew only Jiwoo could give her. Ultimately, this wasn’t letting just anybody touch her. She would be letting the love of her life make her feel good, and Jungeun was worried about what it would feel like to feel that much pleasure. She wasn’t sure she deserved it.

Jiwoo, seemingly reading her mind, suddenly tugs on the back of Jungeun’s hair and stares lovingly in her eyes. She tenderly begins placing open-mouthed kisses down her neck, attempting to silence Jungeun’s thoughts. Jungeun is gripping Jiwoo’s ass tightly, her eyes shutting hard at the feeling of the girl trailing kisses on her jaw and then smoothly shifting back up to her lips.

They kiss slowly, full of passion before Jiwoo forces her to look deep in her eyes again. It’s like she’s repeating her earlier request only this time via the tender look she’s giving her. Only Jiwoo could make Jungeun so incredibly apprehensive one second and serenely calm the next. The smaller girl waits eagerly, and when Jungeun nods her head frantically, she beams down at her.

She instantly moves her hands to the button on Jungeun’s jeans. Jiwoo briefly climbs off her lap and kneels. With the other girl’s help, she eventually slides the impeding fabric off. She silently curses the girl for deciding to wear tight jeans today, frustrated that disrobing her took so long. She’s not totally mad, though. Jungeun’s ass looked _really_ good in tight jeans.

She leans back up and pushes the girl backwards on the bed so she’s lying down. Wasting no time, Jiwoo crawls up her body and straddles her again. Jungeun’s shaky hands rest on the girl’s thighs as she watches her begin to unbutton her own blouse. Jiwoo just gazes down at her lovingly as her fingers move elegantly on the buttons. She shakes the shirt off and pushes it off the bed. Jungeun’s breath feels shallow when Jiwoo unclasps her own bra, quickly tossing it aside. Then the girl reaches down to her skirt, momentarily rolling to the side to slide it off before hastily mounting the brunette again.

Jungeun had seen Jiwoo’s body before. They shared a room so it was inevitable. But seeing Jiwoo’s body like this—ready and willing for her touch—it sends a shaky chill up and down her spine.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” she heaves out.

She leans up then, one arm behind her holding her up, the other wrapped around the girl’s middle as she kisses and sucks on Jiwoo’s bare chest.

Jiwoo giggles, those giggles soon turning into boisterous laughs when Jungeun strokes her fingers along the redhead’s stomach.

“That tickles.”

“What?” Jungeun looks up and gives her a quick peck, “this?”

Jungeun actually tickles her then, causing the girl above her to howl in laughter. Jiwoo thrashes around and inadvertently pushes the other girl back on her back.

“I love you _so much,”_ Jungeun breathes out, her brown locks now splayed on the pillow, fingers moving to interlock with Jiwoo’s.

Jiwoo leans down then, her body now flush on top of Jungeun’s.

“I love _you_ so much.”

Jiwoo kisses her long and deep and slides her hands from the other girl’s to unclasp Jungeun’s bra. She admires her body for a second and then makes her way down, trailing wet kisses on Jungeun’s neck, breasts, chest, and tummy. She pokes her head up and finds the other girl biting her lip, her head thrown back and eyes shut.

“Jungie, look at me.”

Jungeun does as she’s told and stares into the girl’s eyes, not daring to blink.

“Will you let me _show_ you how much?”

Jungeun’s chest is heaving. The air has never felt thicker as it rapidly enters her lungs. She’s not as nervous as she was before, though. The look Jiwoo was sending up at her made her feel like she was at peace, like she was safe from anything bad that could ever hurt her.

Jungeun just nods her head, but that’s not what the redhead wants.

Jiwoo’s got her head rested on Jungeun’s tummy and she keeps placing little kisses near the waistband of her panties. She’s glad the girl is open to the idea of Jiwoo touching her, but she wants to hear her say it. She shoots back up the brunette’s body. Their faces are inches apart and Jiwoo sensually licks at her lips, beckoning them to open up.

Jungeun moans as the girl above her dips her tongue in and out of her mouth. She feels dizzy when her bottom lip is suddenly bitten. But any pain she feels is soothed when Jiwoo sucks on it before backing away a couple of inches.

It’s the sexiest thing she’s ever seen—Jiwoo all excited and ready like this. Suddenly her rough voice speaks out again.

“Do you want me to touch you?”

Jungeun nods again, but Jiwoo roughly grabs her jaw.

“No, Jungie, please _tell_ me…tell me that you want me to…” Jiwoo looks nervous then and Jungeun wonders if it’s because she’s worried about the girl running off again.

Jungeun doesn’t like that idea so she tightly wraps her limbs around the girl on top of her just in case. She quickly pecks the girl’s nose and begins to tell Jiwoo what she wants to hear.

“Jiwoo, please touch me. That’s all I want. _Please,_ baby _._ ”

Jiwoo smirks and kisses the girl below her again. This new trend of Jungeun calling her ‘baby’ is adding years onto her life. They make out for a little while, neither girl ready to move yet. Both girls bask in the feeling of their bodies flush together, their chests fitting like puzzle pieces.

Suddenly Jiwoo rips herself away from her mouth and peppers kisses down her body once again.

Her fingers are delicately gripping the waistband of Jungeun’s panties as she swirls her tongue around her belly button. Gently sliding the last layer down, she gazes up into the brunette’s hooded eyes. Jungeun eagerly kicks her panties off and runs her fingers through Jiwoo’s red hair as she begins to suck on the insides of her thighs.

Everything the smaller girl is doing feels so good and she’s not even touching Jungeun where she really wants it yet.

Her thought is cut short however when she feels a wet mouth press into her. The fingers that were smoothly gliding through the red locks are now pulling harshly. Jungeun can’t fight off the deep, guttural moans that leave her body when she feels the girl licking and sucking on the most sensitive part of herself. Her heart beats like she’s running a marathon and Jungeun thinks she might faint when she looks down and _sees_ the girl eating her out so hungrily. Jiwoo opens her eyes, flicking them up to the ones locked on her.

Scratch what she thought earlier. _This_ is the sexiest thing Jungeun’s ever seen.

Jiwoo’s moving her tongue in a way that Jungeun can’t wrap her head around. The pleasure is overwhelming and the soft hums the other girl is letting out against her fills her with butterflies. Her hips repeatedly cant upwards and the two begin to move perfectly in sync. Breathy moans fill up their room and Jiwoo revels in the sound. She wants to see how much louder the girl can get, though. Jiwoo has her hands tightly gripping Jungeun’s thighs, but the brunette doesn’t process it when one of them lets go.

Suddenly, two slender fingers ease their way inside of her and Jungeun nearly combusts. She throws her head back and loudly groans, too overwhelmed to witness it anymore. Her body is so hot, a thin sheet of sweat making her skin glisten. And as the fingers rhythmically slide in and out, Jiwoo’s tongue still flicking away at her, she wonders if she’s unknowingly died.

She must have because this is what heaven feels like.

Jungeun is embarrassed at how quickly she feels herself getting close. She knows if the girl keeps on doing what she’s doing she might have some more apologizing to do. Jiwoo doesn’t care, though. Her only goal at this moment is to make the girl come. And when she feels the way the girl’s hips start jerking sloppily, her thighs squeeze her head, and her fingers dig into her scalp, she’s sure the end isn’t far off.

Jungeun holds her breath when she feels the girl sucking on her clit. A shaky exhale escapes when the girl curls her fingers. Suddenly, she’s coming, and it’s never been this mind-blowing. The love and passion she feels for the girl are washing over her. It’s startling in the best way and she could cry at how good it feels.

Jiwoo continues to lap at her and Jungeun just rides it out—her body twitching. Her throat is slightly dry from the way she was rapidly sucking in air through her mouth. The redhead leaves a single long kiss on Jungeun’s right thigh before she licks her lips and crawls up to meet the girl’s flushed face.

Smiling contentedly, Jungeun removes her hands from Jiwoo’s hair and cradles them on her jaw. She pulls the girl in and plants the most loving kiss on her lips she can possibly muster.

“I’m sorry that just f-felt way too good—you’re so good at that, I can’t believe…” Jungeun trails off breathlessly.

“Why are you saying sorry?” Jiwoo asks, a smug grin planted on her face that she guesses is probably permanent now.

“I usually last longer than that, I promise.”

Jiwoo snorts at that and places her forehead on the other girl’s.

“Jungeun, you’re such an idiot…all I wanted was to make you feel good…and it appears I did.”

She kisses the girl below her again before whispering on her lips.

“Besides, I’m not sorry,” Jiwoo leaves sweet little pecks in between her words, “because,” _peck_ “you taste,” _peck_ “so,” _peck_ “yummy,” _peck._

Then she promptly pulls back, eyeing the girl’s reaction. It’s what she’d hoped it would be—the brunette’s face turns a deep crimson and a beautiful, shy smile appears.

“I can’t believe this whole time you’ve been so good at that and I didn’t know.”

“Well, I did have _some_ practice over the years, Jungie…”

“Shhh,” Jungeun frowns and puts a finger to the girl’s lips, “I don’t wanna think about that right now.”

“You get jealous so easily!”

“Uh, duh! You’re quite the catch after all…”

“Really?”

“Really. But you’re mine now.”

“I am,” Jiwoo nods.

“All of you is mine…right?

“Right,” the redhead echoes.

Jungeun mumbles a _good_ before flipping them over.

“I have some…unfinished business,” Jungeun says shyly, looking down and tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She glances back up and sweetly kisses Jiwoo. The girl wraps her arms around the brunette’s back in response and strokes her hands up and down. Meanwhile, Jungeun presses open-mouthed kisses on her neck, nibbling here and there on the smooth skin. Her hands are grabbing Jiwoo’s breasts and once satisfied with the noises she receives from the girl below her, she swiftly moves them down, tickling her soft tummy again.

Jiwoo giggles warmly and reaches down to pull her panties half-way off. Jungeun bends down to help her, playfully wiping her brow at the difficult task once they’re off. She flings the flimsy lace fabric out into the room like a rubber band and the disappointed look on her face when it lands about two feet away makes Jiwoo laugh.

She quickly shuts the girl up when she licks the length of her neck. Her lips settle on Jiwoo’s ear where she sucks on the girl’s lobe. When she moves back to her slightly agape mouth, Jungeun wonders how wet Jiwoo is right now. She’s dying to find out the answer. Their tongues slide against each other as Jungeun’s hand creeps down in between the redhead’s legs.

Jiwoo breaks the kiss and gasps when she feels the girl’s fingers barely grazing her. She grabs the girl’s small wrist, silently begging her to press where she’s yearning for her touch.

Resting her face in the crook of the girl’s neck, Jungeun fully pushes her fingers against the other girl, sliding them up and down and through her wetness. She’s soaked. Definitely more than the last time she was down here and the realization excites her all over again. The feeling of the girl’s wet heat is absolutely blood-tingling. And the way Jiwoo begins digging her fingernails into Jungeun’s back, her mouth pressed into her ear so she can hear every sound she makes—it’s almost _better_ than earlier. Almost.

Jungeun’s rubbing fluid circles as the redhead moans all high-pitched and sexy in her ear. It was hard to focus at first on anything other than how drenched her fingers were. Now, after seeing, feeling, and _hearing_ Jiwoo’s reaction to her touch, Jungeun thinks pleasuring the girl is the easiest thing she’ll ever do.

The brunette’s sucking on Jiwoo’s neck and working her fingers on the girl simultaneously. After she lets out a particularly breathy moan, Jungeun decides she can’t take it anymore and decides to go in for the kill.

Quickly working them to the knuckle, Jungeun thrusts her two middle fingers inside of the girl, and she bites down on her neck to contain her own moan. Jiwoo, however, lets out a squeal, scratching her nails down Jungeun’s back. The girl is so tight and warm and wet and it’s honestly dizzying how good she feels inside. Jungeun laughs from joy into her neck which causes the redhead to grab her head and pull it up, wanting to meet her eyes.

Jungeun smiles down at her as she maintains her steady thrusting. Jiwoo tries to return the smile but her face is all screwed up from the pleasure. Her mouth is in an ‘O’ shape and her tongue keeps shooting out between moans to lick her lips. Resting their foreheads together, Jungeun begins to go deeper, her palm hitting the girl’s clit. She thinks Jiwoo’s probably drawing blood out of her back at this point, but she doesn’t care.

The girl pumps harder and faster and they just stare at each other all the while. Jiwoo grabs Jungeun’s ass then, desperately trying to pull the girl even deeper inside of her.

It’s a sight Jungeun wants to play on repeat every day for the rest of her life when Jiwoo comes. The girl’s eyes squeeze closed and she lets out the hottest noise she’s ever heard come from anybody. Her lip quivers and Jungeun licks the beads of sweat off the girl’s forehead as she tries to even out her breathing. It comes out in pants and after what feels like an eternity, the girl’s tight grip starts to loosen.

Jungeun trails delicate kisses on her jaw and then returns to her lips.

The only sound in the room is the smacking of their lips as they make out for what feels like forever.

Eventually, Jungeun peels herself off the girl and rolls onto her side. Their arms are draped over each other and Jungeun reaches down to place the sheet over their lower halves. Snuggling closer, Jungeun never breaks their eye contact.

Jiwoo is the one to speak first.

“I really, really, really, really, _really_ love you.”

“Does that mean it was okay?” Jungeun’s grinning at her as she plays with the girl’s hair.  

The redhead pretends to punch her at the dumb question, a smile plastered on her face.

“It was more than okay…” she mutters bashfully.

“Good…I feel the same.”

For a while they just giggle shyly at each other, playing with their interlocked fingers.

“By the way,” Jiwoo begins, “please don’t be embarrassed, Jungie. After all, we kind of suffered through years of foreplay…”

Jungeun raises her eyebrows.

“Is that what that was? Foreplay?”

“Among other things. It was also us being in love and being too stupid to do anything about it. Or _realize_ it in my case.”

“Well…I’m glad you did. Truthfully, I don’t think I would have ever had the guts to confess…”

Jiwoo looks sad then and pecks the girl’s knuckles.

“You know, you can be brave, Jungeun.”

“I don’t know about that…”

“It’s true. I mean the way you acted in the pet store—not too many people would have had the courage to act like such a weirdo in public.”

Jungeun gasps in mock offense. She pulls the girl even closer and smacks her butt. Jiwoo just laughs madly in response.

“You made me crazy!” Jungeun shouts in defense.

“I didn’t make you do anything, honey. That was all you.”

“Maybe so. I’m not as brave as you, though. I could never wear crocs in public.”

“Seriously? The crocs again?!”

“They’re so ugly, Jiwooming!”

The redhead pushes the annoying girl away but gets pulled right back in. They begin to wrestle on the bed, violently laughing. After several minutes, they get tired and pull the rest of the blankets over top of them. They’re wrapped up together, snuggling for the second night in a row, only this time there’s no clothing separating them.

Jungeun tilts her head up at the girl whose eyes are desperately fighting to stay open.

“Baby, go to sleep.”

“How am I supposed to sleep when you call me that?” the girl scratchily replies.

“You like that?”

The redhead nods softly and nuzzles her face farther into the brunette’s hair.

“Well, please don’t drool on my head when you pass out…baby.”

* * *

 

A few days later, snapping her fingers along to her music as she walks into the dorm room, Jungeun sets her stuff down by the door and slips her shoes off. She’s beyond happy to be home. Today was a full day of classes and she couldn’t wait to finally lay eyes on her _girlfriend._

She pauses her music when she spots the vivacious girl walking up to her, hands behind her back.

Jungeun’s smiling at her, ready to receive a welcome home kiss, but the girl seems distracted.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey…I need your help with something.”

Jiwoo whips her hands forward then and displays what she was hiding. There are eight different pictures of the redhead printed on expensive photo paper, and Jungeun is a little confused.

“You know that photo competition I won?”

“Of course.”

“Well, they wanted all the finalists to submit _artistic_ selfies of themselves to display alongside the photos in the exhibition. So…I need your help picking one.”

Jungeun pulls her earphones out and gazes at the pictures, trying to decide on just one. It was a tough job considering the girl was beyond photogenic. But one sticks out immediately.

“I really like this one.” She’s pointing to one of the cuter, less-serious pictures where Jiwoo is pouting her lips out and squinting playfully.

“This one?” Jiwoo turns it over in her hands and analyzes it carefully. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I mean, of course you look gorgeous but also…”

“Also?”

“Also, because I like your lips,” Jungeun sputters out.

And then the mood shifts. Jungeun was just being honest, but she’s happy her words might lead to her getting the kiss she wanted all day.

“My lips like you too,” Jiwoo says in her best flirtatious voice and sets the pictures down.

“Oh yeah? How much do they like me?”

“Hmm, it’s not really something that can be expressed in words. I could show you though.”

Jungeun’s grinning, teeth on full display. She wants Jiwoo to show her, boy does she ever, but first, she wants to tease the girl.

“Meh,” Jungeun fake yawns. “I’m actually kinda tired. Maybe some other time, though.”

Jiwoo narrows her eyes and crosses her arms.

“You don’t want me to kiss you?”

Placing one earphone back in her ear, Jungeun shrugs.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t—”

“ _Maybe_ you’re annoying,” Jiwoo retorts.

In one effortless movement, Jungeun’s earphone is ripped out and the girl is pushed down into the nearby desk chair. She’s not getting away anytime soon—Jiwoo’s hands forcefully pushing on her shoulders are making sure of that.

The dark gaze Jiwoo is giving her thrills and scares her at the same time.

The girl leans down just enough to graze her mouth against Jungeun’s ear. Jungeun shudders when she feels the girl’s hot breath. A tongue quickly darts out and she grits her teeth together. Then Jiwoo pulls back, licking her lips and grinning down at her girlfriend.

“You sure you don’t wanna kiss me?”

“No,” Jungeun blurts out, “No, I’m not so sure.”

“Interesting.”

Jiwoo regards Jungeun’s tense body and removes her hands from the girl’s shoulders. Then she abruptly heads towards the closet. Her hair whips around as she turns, Jungeun momentarily enthralled by the movement before she wonders what’s happening.

“Where are you going?” She whines out.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Jiwoo mocks, back still turned. As she reaches the closet, she pretends to be fascinated by Jungeun’s assorted blazer collection.

“Get back here!” Jungeun shrieks, shooting up from the chair and wrapping her arms around the frustrating girl.

Jiwoo gradually turns herself around in Jungeun’s arms, beaming at her girlfriend whose eyes are glued onto her mouth.

“For someone who doesn’t wanna kiss me, you seem upset that—”

Jungeun shuts Jiwoo up, driving their lips together so hard their teeth clash. Her hand grasps the back of the smaller girl’s neck and she deepens the kiss, eliciting a moan.

It’s hungry and fast and Jiwoo thinks that if this is how Jungeun acts after being teased then she clearly needs to badger her more often.

Jungeun pulls back after a couple of minutes, her hands now resting on the small of Jiwoo’s back.

“I see what you mean about your lips liking me.”

Jiwoo grins from ear to ear and squishes Jungeun’s cheeks together, making the other girl unintentionally pout.

“I love you.”

Jungeun laughs, feeling her heart soar.  She’s still not used the way the girl says that.

“I love you too, dummy.”

Jiwoo giggles and pulls her girlfriend back onto the lips that are so keen on her.

* * *

 

A few weeks go by and Jinsoul gets increasingly irritated at how little she sees her best friend. She was happy for the girl, obviously. But Jungeun promised her when they were on the phone a couple of weeks ago that they would go out on a double date—her, Sooyoung, Jiwoo, and Jungeun. However, since then, the younger girl hadn’t made any attempt to schedule anything.

Jinsoul decides to take matters into her own hands and texts her girlfriend letting her know they were going out tonight. Sooyoung chides her for the short notice but agrees anyway. Not like she really has a choice. Truthfully, the tall girl was kind of whipped for the blonde. It was a nice change for Jinsoul considering she had never dated anyone who was just as obsessed with her as she was with them.

Sooyoung even began helping assemble Gundam models with her. When the girl first heard about Jinsoul’s little hobby, she laughed and called it nerdy. But once she saw the disappointed look on her face, she vowed to be more open-minded. Honestly, the blonde suspects her girlfriend is more into it now than she is. The last time she was at her house she borrowed Sooyoung’s laptop to submit an assignment. She innocently crept around for a little bit and saw that the girl was frequently visiting Gundam forums. Jinsoul thought it was cute and decided to save her teasing for another day.

After the blonde gets her girlfriend on board, she texts Jungeun.

 

**_[Jinsoul] hey we’re going out tonight bring jiwoo_ **

**_[lil dumbass] It’s kind of short notice, Jinsoul…_ **

**_[Jinsoul] so? if u dont come ill tell jiwoo what u said that one night in ur sleep_ **

**_[lil dumbass] You’re literally evil!_ **

**_[lil dumbass] We’ll be there._ **

****

Jinsoul smirks down at her phone.

_Sweet victory._

She gets excited just thinking about how much fun it will be for the four of them to hang out. Sure, it has the potential to get awkward. But honestly, Jinsoul kind of thrived on that shit. It was entertaining. Plus, as much as she hates to admit it, she really misses Jungeun. She had only seen Jiwoo and Jungeun together once since they started dating. And it was very briefly when Jungeun came to get her bag back. She’s curious about their dynamic and secretly hopes she and Jiwoo can get a little closer.

Later that evening, a certain blonde is marching up to the Kim’s dorm room. She got tired of waiting for them to meet her downstairs so, once again, she takes matters into her own hands. Sooyoung was meeting the three of them at the restaurant later. That fact only saddens Jinsoul because if the girl was with her, she would have been content to wait for the other two lovebirds to meet them. Sooyoung was good at distracting and calming the blonde down. But when she was by herself, she had no patience.

She knocks on the door and keeps knocking obnoxiously until it’s opened.

Jungeun opens it and glares at the girl.

 _At least they’re ready_ , Jinsoul thinks as her eyes move up and down their clothed bodies.

“I got tired of waiting for you homos,” she says, skirting past the younger girl and looking around curiously.

Jinsoul takes three steps into their room and notices the two beds that were once on opposite sides of the room now smushed together in the middle.

“This is the gayest shit I’ve ever seen.” Her eyes are impossibly wide and her lips tight across her face.

Jiwoo laughs and holds Jungeun’s hand, squeezing it gently.

“Jiwoo, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” the girl replies with a smile on her face, just excited that she and Jungeun are being so unabashedly open.

“Is Jungeun still the little spoon?”

“Jinsoul are you serious?! You haven’t been here all of two minutes and that’s what you come up with?” Jungeun snaps back, the girl next to her laughing wildly.

“Yo chill, Jiwoo and I are just talking.”

“Jinsoul, I am respectfully declining to answer your question. Mostly because I know my girlfriend would _not_ be happy if I gave you the answer, which of course is the answer that you suspect is the true one.”

“Oh my god, I cannot believe my taste in women,” Jungeun exasperatedly sighs out, covering her face but not letting go of Jiwoo’s hand.

“Well, I just wanna say that I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thank you.” Jiwoo grins looking over at her girlfriend with a proud expression.

“It’s not like it took several _years_ or anything…” Jinsoul trails off noticing a post-it note stuck onto the wall. It’s a crude drawing of two skirted stick figures holding hands inside of a heart. Jinsoul smirks, recognizing Jungeun’s shitty artistic skills instantly.

“Well, anyway, how’s Sooyoung?” Jungeun asks, genuinely curious about how that whole thing is going.

“Oh, she’s _wonderful,_ Jungeun. She’s literally the love of my life and I plan to have four children with her. Two of ‘em I’m popping out, the other two are all hers,” Jinsoul concludes, and man, Jungeun really missed her weird best friend. Well, _second_ -best friend.

“I actually saw Sooyoung recently!” Jiwoo exclaims, and both girls whip their heads at her, totally not concerned.

“Oh, really?” Both girls say at the same time, looking at each other and biting back smiles because they’re both too jealous to chuckle at their twin-ness right now.

“Yeah! She came to the pet store. It was funny, I was helping her find the fish she wanted and—”

Jiwoo’s eyes widen and she makes a face like she stepped in shit. Which, she kind of did. Jinsoul wasn’t supposed to know that. Sooyoung begged her to keep her fish purchase a secret from the blonde, wanting to surprise the girl for her birthday which was in a few days.

Jiwoo begins to sing loudly, waving her arms wildly at Jungeun to join in, the other girl just looking puzzled and amused at the same time.

Jinsoul watches this whole exchange in confusion. She almost forgets what Jiwoo mentioned, simply because the sharp left turn into ear-splitting musical town almost worked. Jiwoo must know how short the blonde’s attention span is, but she doesn’t realize that when it comes to Sooyoung, the girl is not easily swayed. She’s in love, after all.

“Sooyoung bought a fish?” Jinsoul asks, the singing stopping abruptly.

“No, I didn’t say that, Jinsoul,” Jiwoo replies, looking at Jungeun for help, the other girl just shrugging with a smirk on her face.

“You did, you said you helped her find the fish she wanted—”

“I lied, Jinsoul, we don’t sell fish.”

“I heard fish—”

“Sooyoung was buying a _dish_ , Jinsoul, a _dish,_ okay?”

“A dish? What the hell does that mean?”

“You know, a dish, like a dish for food…like, a dog bowl, or something.”

Jungeun almost loses it at that, letting go of Jiwoo’s hand to walk over to the bed. She plops down with indifference and pretends to be absorbed in her phone.

“So… Sooyoung came to your store…and she bought a _dog dish_ , not a fish?”

“Yes, Jinsoul, oh my gosh, why are we still discussing this?”

“Jiwoo, Sooyoung doesn’t have a dog. Why the hell would she be buying a dog dish?”

“Like I’m supposed to know? Jinsoul, I don’t know what you guys are into…”

“Oh come on,” Jinsoul scoffs, she can’t believe the audacity of this little bobblehead, Jiwoo.

“As cute as this whole thing is,” Jungeun interrupts, smiling at the two of them from the bed, “weren’t we supposed to actually head on out? Unless, of course, you guys would rather argue about whether Sooyoung bought Jinsoul a fish or a dog dish.”

Jiwoo smiles, reaching down and pulling Jungeun up, the two of them immediately wrapping themselves together and heading for the door.

They stroll out of the room, leaving Jinsoul to trail after them.

“No, it’s cool guys! I’ll just lock up _your_ place of residence for you!”

She rolls her eyes and wonders how this night is going to go.

* * *

 

A short time later the four of them are seated at a bordering-on-pricey restaurant. Jungeun thinks they probably shouldn’t let Sooyoung choose the venue again considering she’s the only one who has money. Jungeun and Jiwoo are seated next to each other, Jinsoul and Sooyoung across from them.

They were all still trying to get past the awkward greetings when the three of them met Sooyoung inside. After Jinsoul and the girl displayed a little _too_ much affection, Sooyoung spread her arms to the other two girls in attendance. Jungeun gracelessly stuck her hand out instead, which the girl stiffly shook. Then Jiwoo being Jiwoo hugged Sooyoung a little too tight and both of their respective girlfriends nearly had to peel her off.

“Well, I’m starving! I waited all day to eat for this special occasion,” Jinsoul announces proudly.

“Jinsoul, you really should eat more. You’ve started to lose a little weight…” Sooyoung looks at the blonde with intense concern in her eyes. She trails her fingers on the girl’s cheekbones to make her point.

“I’m trying to get my summer bod in order, babe.”

“You know I think it’s sexy when you have a little more meat on your bones, babe.”

Jiwoo and Jungeun eye the couple uncomfortably before turning to talk amongst themselves.

“Jungeunnie, you really shouldn’t be jealous of Sooyoung and me,” the redhead whispers.

“I know, Jiwoo. But it’s hard to forget, you know?”

“Well, promise me we’ll all have a good time tonight, okay?”

“Fine, baby. But only for you.”

The corners of Jiwoo’s lips upturn ever so slightly and she leans in to give her girlfriend a soft kiss.

“Oh my god, ew. Ha.” Jinsoul says a little too loudly.

Jungeun turns her head at her, a grimace on her face.

“Do you have a problem?”

“I’ve just never seen you and Jiwoo kiss before. It’s so weird.” Jinsoul’s face is scrunched up and it pisses Jungeun off. She’s ready to clap back at the blonde but Jiwoo beats her to it.  

“Jungeun’s a _very_ good kisser, isn’t she, Jinsoul?”

Everyone knows what she’s basically saying is _she’s mine now_ but the sentiment is about a year too late for it to be taken seriously.

Jungeun blushes a little and shifts her eyes back and forth between her girlfriend and her best friend. She knew Jiwoo was a little jealous of her and Jinsoul’s past, but this was the most blatant she had ever seen it. Tugging on the girl’s sleeve, she flashes her a look that says _settle down_. Deep down though, Jungeun found Jiwoo marking her territory hot. _Really_ hot.

Jinsoul just laughs, finding the whole thing extremely amusing. She wasn’t trying to mock the couple; it truly was just weird seeing them kiss for the first time. She decides to push a few more buttons, though. Just to spice things up.

“Don’t you think it’s so weird how we’ve basically all hooked up with each other? Well, except for Jiwoo and I. Oh my god, and Sooyoung and Jungeun.” Jinsoul sticks her tongue out in disgust.

“Is that a bad thing?” Jungeun asks annoyed.

“No, it’s just funny.”

“Yes, babe, Jungeun and I have both had sex with you. I guess we’re lucky.” Sooyoung appears to be unbothered at the thought on the outside but Jungeun can tell it’s an act. The tall girl tucks some of Jinsoul’s hair behind her ear and softly smiles at her. Well at least someone’s accepting of Jinsoul’s instigating—she must be aware Jinsoul’s doing it for fun, Jungeun guesses.

“And you almost had sex with me!” Jiwoo exclaims at Sooyoung, instantly realizing she shouldn’t have said that as all eyes turn to her and awkwardness fills the room.

“I think we’re all trying to forget about that night, Jiwooming.” Jungeun gently rubs a hand over the girl’s thigh.

Jiwoo looks around guilty but still feels overjoyed at the fact that Jungeun is out with her and Jinsoul’s there and this time Jungeun’s _hers_. She didn’t know it would feel this good. And who cares if the blonde isn’t jealous—Jiwoo still feels like she won.

“Oh, by the way, Jungeun, guess who I ran into the other day.”

“Who?”

“Your former lover for the night, Haseul!”

Jiwoo shifts uncomfortably in her chair, the brunette sending an apologetic look over on behalf of the blonde.

“Okay, and?”

“Well, she’s still as pretty and smart as you may remember her. But she’s also back with her ex-girlfriend, Vivi!”

“Shocker,” Jungeun says sarcastically.

Sooyoung speaks up then, “Haseul’s been obsessed with that Chinese hottie for like ever. I’m surprised they were broken up for as long as they were.”

Jiwoo adds her thoughts, “I didn’t know she was dating Vivi! That girl was in my portrait photography class last semester!”

“Is this the only thing we have to talk about?” Jungeun looks at the three of them with an irritated look. She doesn’t know why all their conversations have to be about what happened in the past.

“Well, if you wanna introduce a better topic, feel free, Jungeun,” Sooyoung says then, a little sassy.

Jinsoul senses this won’t be going in a very great direction, so she quickly thinks on her feet.

“Anyway guys, I heard this thing the other day. Listen up!”

Jungeun can only guess what kind of crackhead-ness the blonde is about to expel.

“Sooooo,” she draws out, folding her hands on the table, a wide grin on her face, “Pete and Repeat are on a boat, Pete fell off, who’s left?”

Oh, so that was it then.

“Baby, you still haven’t decided what you want and everyone else is ready.”

“Repeat!” Jiwoo shouts happily.

“Jiwoo, don’t encourage her,” Jungeun says with a scolding tone of voice.

“Thank you, Jiwoo. Anyway, Pete and Repeat are on a boat—”

Just then the waiter walks up and asks for their order, Jungeun being more than relieved. Everyone lists off their food orders—Sooyoung deciding on behalf of her unprepared girlfriend.

The dinner goes mostly smoothly. Jinsoul, so enthralled by Jiwoo’s many pet store horror stories, completely misses her mouth and drops a meatball on her lap. The blonde then proceeds to scoop it up in her hands and shove it in her gob, much to the disgust of the rest of the table. Well, minus Sooyoung. Jungeun gets increasingly more and more shocked at how nothing seems to drive the girl’s heart eyes away.

At one point, Jinsoul excuses herself to go to the bathroom. It’s a little awkward when she’s away since both Jiwoo and Jungeun have no idea what to discuss with Sooyoung. The taller girl seems unfazed as usual. She describes to the two her passion for dancing which leads into her admitting she had been attempting to teach Jinsoul the tango. Jiwoo and Jungeun audibly laugh at this; the mental image too amusing to take seriously. But based on the taller girl’s stoic face, they figure she must be serious— _and_ unaware of how silly it seems. When the blonde returns, Jiwoo gently informs the girl she has toilet paper stuck to her shoe. Sooyoung just pulls Jinsoul into her side, pecking her cheeks and calling the whole thing adorable.

Jungeun finds them kind of sickening. Jiwoo thinks they’re sweet.

And while Jungeun and Sooyoung get into a heated debate about whether Canadian tuxedos are hot or not, Jinsoul and Jiwoo are able to get some bonding in.

“I’m just saying you would _obviously_ be a Hufflepuff.”

“Maybe, but you would be a Hufflepuff, too, Jinsoul.”

“Ew, no. I’m a Ravenclaw one hundred percent. I’ve literally taken the Pottermore quiz.”

“There’s no way! We Hufflepuff’s can spot our own…”

“Well, maybe you need glasses, kid!”

Hearing the excited voices, Jungeun and Sooyoung turn to them with curiosity.

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Your girlfriend thinks _I’d_ be chilling in the Hufflepuff insane asylum with her.”

“Jinsoul’s a Ravenclaw,” the brunette states definitively.

“Thank you, Jungeun.”

“Jungie, you’re a Gryffindor for sure!”

“Okay, for once I do agree with your tiny girlfriend.” Jinsoul smiles at them.

“Well I look really hot in green, so I’d be a Slytherin, I guess,” Sooyoung says. Jinsoul rests her head on her hand, staring at her girlfriend in wonder.

“Yes. Yes, you would, babe.”

A couple more glasses of wine later, Sooyoung assumes they’re ready to wrap things up. Truthfully, she just wanted to bring Jinsoul back home with her. She bought a new Gundam model kit the other day and was waiting until the girl came over to start building it. The thought of how excited the blonde will be when she sees it is making her giddy.

“So, how are we splitting this?”

“What do you mean?” Jungeun asks, not realizing the girl was talking about the bill.

“Well, obviously I’m paying for Jinsoul and myself. And I’m assuming that…” Sooyoung examines the two lovebirds for a second, “ _Jiwoo_ is paying for you two.”

“What? Why do you assume that Jiwoo’s paying?” That assumption catches Jungeun off guard.

“I’m just saying that based on the _vibes_ I’m getting—”

“ _Vibes?_ What _vibes?_ You think I’m poor?”

“Jungeun, all my beautiful girlfriend’s saying is that it’s obvious you’re the bottom.”

“Hey! Jungeun isn’t _always_ the bottom, you know!” Jiwoo shrieks in an attempt to save her girlfriend’s pride. The brunette then slaps her hand on the redhead’s mouth giving her a not-so-nice look.

An awkward silence washes over the group.

“Look, I don’t care who pays for your meals, I’m just saying that—”

“I’m paying, actually. Not Jiwoo.”

“Jungeun, you don’t have to do that. I’m the one who has a job, you know,” Jiwoo whispers.

“Baby, shut up. I’ve got it.”

“Okay! Now that we’ve got that unnecessary awkwardness out of the way…” The blonde chuckles as if most of the awkwardness so far hasn’t been her fault, “anyone feel like dessert?”

“Ooh, me!” The redhead eagerly throws up her hand.

Sooyoung and Jungeun sigh, the two of them more than ready to hit the road. Of course, they’re both too whipped to speak up. And when Jiwoo’s chocolate cake arrives, Jungeun is glad she didn’t. Jiwoo lets her feed her the whole thing.

* * *

 

A couple of months go by. Jungeun wakes up every day and can’t believe how one person can get happier and happier. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to the feeling of Jiwoo being hers. Each date they go on seems to convince Jungeun that she really has found her soulmate. Luck must be on her side, she thinks.

Jinsoul and Sooyoung graduate and she and Jiwoo are in the stands screaming excessively when their names are called. Jinsoul sends a goofy thumbs up, Sooyoung a shy smile. Truthfully, the four of them had gotten a lot closer in the past couple of months. Jungeun wasn’t even annoyed by Sooyoung anymore. Sure, she has moments of jealousy when she remembers the fact that the tall girl got to kiss Jiwoo before her, but that reminder comes less and less. Jungeun and Sooyoung even go on their own shopping trips, finding the others input pretty helpful. And even though the older girls won’t be on campus anymore, they promise to stay nearby so the four of them can still meet up. None of them would admit it, well maybe except for Jiwoo, but they’re all more than happy they found each other. Jungeun guesses the four of them will be friends for a long time down the road.

Jungeun passes her exams with flying colors. Well, almost flying colors since her stupid Sociology professor is out to get her. She’s convinced. It takes Jiwoo reminding her that she slacked off half the class to stop plotting revenge. Her parents are satisfied, though, and she figures that’s enough.

They pack up their stuff from their dorm room and Jiwoo bops around the whole time, eagerly taping boxes. Plus, she found one of her old lipsticks she lost months ago shoved deep under one of their bookshelves, so she’s ecstatic. Jungeun doesn’t even want to guess how it got there. When the room is mostly bare, Jungeun has a moment of clarity where she realizes she’ll never step foot in this room again. Soon, two new students will be living here, unaware of how special this room is to _some_ people. The thought makes her sad. And while Jiwoo is cheerily singing songs and packing stuff away, Jungeun cries like the baby she is. The redhead holds her for a while, whispering sweet words in her ear. She also reminds her girlfriend she shouldn’t be so sad. After all, they planned to get an on-campus apartment when they returned in the fall. Just the two of them.

“It’s gonna have a kitchen and a living room and a big closet and a _bathroom_ , Jungie! We’ll get our own bathroom! Think of all the baths we’ll get to take!”

And honestly, Jiwoo’s words do make her feel better, so by the time they get all their boxes into Jiwoo’s brother’s car, she feels like she and their dorm room have closure.

They planned to spend the summer together back home. There’s only a ten-minute distance between their respective houses, but they vowed to spend _some_ time apart to see their families. Unfortunately, that doesn’t really work out as well as they had hoped. As soon as Jungeun spends the first weekend with her parents, Jiwoo with hers, she’s more than ready to get back to her girlfriend again. They really can’t spend any time apart. She knows Jiwoo must feel the same way because they send stupid texts to each other every five minutes.

 

**_[Jungeun] hoot hoot_ **

**_[Jiwoomingz_ ** **_♡ ] caw caw_ **

**_[Jungeun] chirp chirp_ **

**_[Jiwoomingz_ ** **_♡ ] moo moo_ **

**_[Jungeun] ribbit ribbit_ **

**_[Jiwoomingz_ ** **_♡ ] omg I miss your frog impression!!!!!! T.T_ **

**_[Jungeun] Wow you broke the chain, loser_ **

**_[Jiwoomingz_ ** **_♡ ] quack quack_ **

 

Her parents get annoyed at one of their family dinners and threaten to take Jungeun’s phone away. And after four painful days of separation, Jungeun finally walks over to Jiwoo’s house unannounced. The sight of the girl after so long is better than any drug.

About two weeks into summer vacation, Jiwoo suggests visiting their old high school. Jungeun is mad she didn’t think of it first. _She_ was supposed to be the romantic one! She doesn’t stay mad though because she’s too excited.

When they step foot on the school grounds Jiwoo’s hand slips snugly into hers.

“Why am I so nervous suddenly?”

“Maybe because your subconscious is trying to remind you of that gel pen you stole from Algebra class.”

Jiwoo stops walking and looks at Jungeun like she kicked her dog.

“It was an accident!!!” she wails out, pushing on the brunette’s shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, you.”

Jungeun locks their hands again and they make their way over to a row of picnic tables. She pulls them over to one in particular, excited to show Jiwoo something the smaller girl probably forgot about.

As they’re sitting down, Jiwoo looks around and smiles.

“It’s so weird to be back here with you. It’s like nothing’s changed…but everything’s changed.” She shoots her smile over at Jungeun when she says that last part.

“I know. If only my younger self could see us now.”

And wow, what an understatement that is, Jungeun realizes. If she told her younger self that she and Jiwoo would start dating—or even if she said that Jiwoo reciprocated her feelings—she knows she would scoff. The idea would have been too unrealistic. Although, as more time passes, Jungeun thinks that the idea might not have ever been that unrealistic at all.

“Do you remember this table?”

“Of course! This is where we always waited for your parents to pick us up after theater rehearsal!”

Jungeun takes her hand then and places it on the spot she wanted to show the girl. Jiwoo looks down and moves her hand slightly. The brunette watches her reaction as she realizes what she’s looking at.

In true Jiwoo fashion, she shrieks loudly and giggles in pure joy. The elated noises nearly pierce Jungeun’s ears but it’s still her favorite sound.

“Oh my god, it’s still here!”

Jungeun laughs, “Well, yeah it hasn’t been _that_ long, Jiwooming.”

Tilting her gaze down, Jungeun feels a sense of pride when she sees the letters she scratched into the wood.

 

**_‘KJ^2 4 EVA’_ **

 

Her mind flashes back to that day. The two of them were splitting fruit snacks and waiting for Jungeun’s consistently tardy parents to pick them up. Having “borrowed” her dad’s pocketknife in preparation, the brunette began to carve the letters into the wood, much to Jiwoo’s behest.

“Remember when I said you would cut your finger off?”

 “Yeah, and I didn’t so ha!” Jungeun sticks her tongue out for emphasis.

Jiwoo trails the indentations with a gentle smile on her face. She feels her lip quivering a little when she realizes just how much meaning the engraving held. And as cheesy as it is, she feels her heart flutter when her eyes linger on the ‘4 eva’ part.

Eventually, they make their way around the outside of the building, pointing out little memories here and there. Jungeun knows the school is closed for summer break, but when they walk past one of the side doors, she figures she’ll at least try.

“It’s unlocked,” she delightedly states.

Pulling Jiwoo over to her, she grips the handle and begins to pull.

“Jungeun, we’ll get in trouble!”

“No, we won’t—we paid our dues.”

Jiwoo doesn’t say anything and reluctantly lets herself be pulled inside.

The school looks exactly the same inside. Except now, it’s quiet and dead and it freaks the two girls out a little bit. But in a way, it’s kind of romantic. And Jungeun almost gags at herself for finding the inside of their old high school _romantic._

Jiwoo’s tightly gripping onto Jungeun’s arm when the brunette pulls them to the music room. Secretly, it was her plan all along. She wanted to play the piano with the girl the way they used to so many times before.

Sitting them down on the piano stool, she begins to feel a bit nervous. It had been a while. Once she meets her girlfriend’s eyes, those nerves fade away. The look on Jiwoo’s face is a knowing one. The redhead is not at all surprised they’re sitting here. Jungeun’s predictability doesn’t stop her heart from racing, though.

“Do you wanna?”

“Someone might hear us…a janitor or something.”

“And they’ll just be happy they get to hear the voice of an angel while they work instead of the usual depressing silence.”

Jiwoo doesn’t argue with that. She finds Jungeun to be at almost max levels of cuteness right now. And as the brunette patiently waits with her fingers on the keys, Jiwoo leans forward. A kiss would serve as a good enough answer, she thinks.

Gleefully pushing her fingers down, Jungeun begins to play. She had waited so long to do this again. It was only fitting for them to do it in their old school where they fell in love. Jiwoo is distracted by the girl’s beautiful profile. So distracted that she doesn’t even notice that something…isn’t right.

“What the hell! This piano isn’t in tune!” Jungeun slams her fingers down on the keys and huffs in frustration. “Why the hell would they have an UNTUNED piano in here?!”

Jiwoo tucks the angry girl’s hair behind her ear and places little pecks on her cheek to calm her down.

“Babe, it’s okay, we can still have fun with it!”

Jungeun’s shoulders are slumped in defeat and she looks upset. Jiwoo couldn’t have that—not when she remembers how cute and enthusiastic the girl was just a minute before.  

Suddenly, the redhead is ferociously hitting the keys and sing-shouting out random lyrics to random songs. It’s beyond horrible to listen to, and Jungeun knows they probably _will_ get caught at this rate. But it’s also pretty adorable, which is why she has no intention of shushing her. Jiwoo’s eyebrows are bouncing and her body is swaying around as she sings purposely bad just to make Jungeun laugh. And when it works, the redhead smiles so large and bright Jungeun feels any anger she had vanish.

“Jungie, do it with me.”

So she does. Very loudly.

And when a teacher who happened to be working nearby angrily bursts into the room, both girls can’t stop giggling. They get kicked out of their former school and luckily for them, the teacher must have been feeling nice because she doesn’t call the cops.

“I love you, but I really don’t think we should try and get arrested again,” Jiwoo says as they walk back home.

“So, does that mean you won’t help me murder my former Sociology professor?”

* * *

 

They’re lying in Jiwoo’s bed one morning, taking turns tracing words onto each other’s bare arms and guessing what’s being spelled. Jungeun’s happy that Jiwoo’s parents are cool enough that they leave the two girls alone. It likely wouldn’t be a very pleasant experience for them to walk in on the girls with so little clothing on.

“I definitely felt an ‘R’ in there!”

“Ding! Wrong again…do you give up?”

“Fine, just tell me.”

“It was ‘penguin.’”

“Penguin?! What the hell?”

“You know penguins are my favorite animal!”

Jungeun closes her eyes and exhales deeply. When she feels Jiwoo poke at her arm she can’t help but grin.

“One more!” the redhead says a little too loudly considering their faces were less than a foot away from each other.

Gearing up for the finale, Jungeun rotates her wrist around in preparation. She carefully takes her index finger and scribbles two words into the girl’s forearm. At first, she purposely made the words hard just to stump Jiwoo. But this is the final round and Jungeun only cares about one thing right now.

“Hmm, I felt a ‘kiss’ in there,” Jiwoo says squinting her eyes.

“Getting warm…I’ll do it one more time and then you have to guess!”

Jungeun slides her finger on the girl’s skin extra slowly this time, watching every movement on the girl’s face that’s staring back at her own.

“Jungeun…you’re so dumb.”

The brunette gasps and covers her chest pretending to be mad. Jiwoo grins and gives the girl what she clearly wants so badly—a big, fat, deep kiss.

After a minute or so, Jungeun breaks the kiss, seriously out of breath.

“Wait, so what’s your answer?”

“I know it was ‘kiss me,’ Jungeun, come on!”

The two of them giggle and Jiwoo pulls her girlfriend back on her mouth. It begins to get heated until Jungeun backs away in alarm after she rubs her hands down Jiwoo’s arms.

 “You have goosebumps, Jiwoo.”

“The A/C is making me cold but it’s okay. You can warm me up.”

Jiwoo eagerly leans back in but Jungeun stops her. As much as she wants to continue, she remembers that, unlike last night, Jiwoo’s parents are awake right now, and it’s probably a good idea not to do… _that._

“Baby, your parents…”

Jiwoo sighs and looks towards her door before admitting, “I guess it’s time to get dressed.”

They quietly slip on their clothes. Jungeun watches her girlfriend the whole time, speaking up when the girl starts to pull on a sheer cardigan over her tank top.

“Actually, can you put on your grey hoodie?”

Jiwoo freezes and cocks her eyebrow at the request.

“Why?”

“Just…please?”

Jiwoo is suspicious, but Jungeun is asking in such a cute manner that it’s not like she isn’t going to listen.

She figures out why her girlfriend is being so weird when she pulls the hoodie off the hanger. Planted right on the tag where no one could miss it is a conspicuous yellow post-it note.

“This is seriously bad placement, Jungeun! It’s been so hot lately it might have taken me _months_ to find this.”

“Baby, would you just read it!”

Jungeun nervously analyzes Jiwoo’s face as she processes what’s written.

“Wait a minute, what?”

She whips her head over to her now sorry-looking girlfriend.

“ _You’re_ the one who spilled coffee all over my sticker collection?!”

Jungeun had to come clean. It was eating at her for several years, and since she and Jiwoo are completely honest with each other now, it’s time.

Jiwoo had blamed every single one of their high school friends for the blunder, except for Jungeun. And of course, the brunette was too scared to confess. It really was an accident—the redhead was in the bathroom and Jungeun was saving her seat for when she got back. Unfortunately, Jungeun’s iced Americano must have fallen and spilled out of her bag at some point. Truthfully, nobody at the table even knew Jiwoo’s precious sticker collection was damaged until the girl got back and screamed her head off about it.  

Rushing over to her terrified girlfriend, Jiwoo roughly grabs her by the shoulders and thrusts her down on the floor. Gripping the brunette’s wrists so she can’t fight back, Jiwoo casually sits right on top of her. It’s such a weird restrictive angle that Jungeun feels like a dead fish. She’s never felt so unhappy with the girl’s body on her own.

“Say you’re sorry and I’ll get off,” Jiwoo says assertively.

“Oh my god! Help! Someone hel—”

Jiwoo quickly throws her hand over Jungeun’s mouth.

“Jungeun, shhh! My parents might think I’m hurting you!”

The brunette hums incoherently into Jiwoo’s hand. Deciding the brunette probably at least deserves the chance to get a couple of words out, she lifts her hand up the tiniest bit.

“You _are_ hurting me! You’re freaking heavier than you think, Jiwooming!”

Jiwoo quickly snaps her hand back to the girl’s mouth.

“As I said before, I will remove my body as soon as you apologize.”

The brunette sticks her tongue out and exaggeratedly licks the redhead’s palm.

“I guess I’ll just have to tickle you, then.”

At Jiwoo’s words, Jungeun lets out loud groans of fear and what the redhead guesses is an apology. She removes her hand, smirking in victory and waiting for her girlfriend to speak.

“Fine! I’m sorry, okay? Just get off already!”

“Wait, can I get a kiss first?”

“You assault me and then want a kiss? What kind of relationship is this?”

“This was nothing compared to some of the things you’ve _asked_ me to do to you, Jungie.”

Jungeun is quiet then and Jiwoo revels in the tiny blush that creeps on her cheeks. She looks away shyly and puckers her lips the slightest bit. Satisfied, Jiwoo lets go of the girl’s wrists and leans down to plant a chaste kiss on her braced lips. She knows the girl isn’t really mad, but she still wants to kiss it better just in case.

Finally pushing herself off, Jiwoo laughs down at the girl who melodramatically exhales like someone has just removed a 500lb weight. She reaches out her hand to help her up and is glad when Jungeun accepts it.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because I thought you would attack me! Like you just did!”

Jiwoo snorts. “Please, Jungeun you would _know_ if I was attacking you. I literally have a 3rd-degree black belt in taekwondo.”

Jungeun’s eyes get wide when she remembers that little fact. Then she flashes a look of apology at the smaller girl.

“I’m really sorry, Jiwooming. I felt so bad about it and it’s been eating me up inside for years.”

“Jungie, it’s fine! I kind of knew it was you all along, anyway.”

“Um, what?”

“Jungeun, you’re so obvious sometimes. Your face was like a tomato for the whole hour after!”

The brunette smacks her own palm to her face and shakes her head. Jiwoo just laughs at her and wraps the girl into a warm hug. They stay like that for a while, Jungeun’s face pressed into her girlfriend’s shoulder. Jiwoo’s hands are making little circles on her back and she feels better already.

“You’re my cute dummy, you know that right?”

Jungeun nods into Jiwoo’s shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too…although you’re never gonna guess what’s on the _other_ post-it I hid in here…”

“Oh my god, Jungeun! Will you _please_ think of the trees?!”

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't intend for this to be so long it just sort of happened.
> 
> =)


End file.
